A heartbroken mum says she can’t put up with her teenage son’s behaviour any more, and is considering kicking him out of home.

The 38-year-old mum says the 17 year-old is her only child, and she’s done everything in her power to help him get his life on track.

“He has always been a problematic child. He lies to your face, steals, failed school the last several years, lit fires, smokes dope, vapes and gets in the middle of relationships,” she explained.

“His dad and I have been separated since he was young and co-parented with ease. My last relationship failed 100% due to my son and his behaviour. His dad told him to leave at 15 due to his family unit failing because of him.

“He has grown up in a very normal functioning house hold/s He left happily when his dad said he wanted him to go. He lived with a non functioning family (mate from school) for a year and begged me to come home.

“I was so hesitant because of what he’s done before. I told him he needed to be working full time or studying.”

Eventually, she allowed her son to move back in.

“I helped him get enrolled in civil construction course instead of school. He completed that in February. He has made no effort to look for work. I found him an apprenticeship. He was keen and he got off the weed and I put him through other courses… 1st aid ect.

“I took annual leave for the week to get him off ever morning for first week. He lied again … he failed the drug test. Found out he smoke all weekend before starting. Im $800 out of pocket (tool kit, courses, police checks, work clothes, fuel running him about ect).”

Finally, the situation has come to a head, and the frustrated mum says she’s given her only child an ultimatum.

“I lost my sh*t this morning and damaged his computer screen because all he wants to do is sit at home stoned playing video games.

“I told him he has one month to get a job or get out. My heart is f***ing broken. He is my only son. I just keep bending over backwards for a kid who does not give a f**k. I have to lock my bedroom when I’m at work due to the stealing and as of few days ago the keys have gone missing.”

Now she wants to know if she’s in the wrong for wanting to kick him out.

“I am conflicted by friends who say I shouldn’t because he is only 17.”

What do you think she should do? Offer your advice in the comments below.

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  • I would be trying to get him into a refuge as a first step, but at his age I think he will be considered sufficiently an adult to make up his own mind. Give him some options of where to go and then I would try to have a life of your own. It sounds harsh, but he is what he has become and only he can turn that around.


  • That’s a hard call to make. Sometimes it can make them pull their heads in, but then it could backfire


  • Oooo, such a tough one! It’d be hard, but I think you’ve got no other choice. Kicking him out might be the wake up call he needs. Dr Phil calls it tough love which is proffered over being an ‘enabler’


  • Kicking him out might make him more distant, most hospitals will be able to provide support details to assist you.


  • Teenagers ask so much of us sometimes. I understand how you feel, but you may regret it in the long run if you do throw him out.


  • Doesn’t sound like a good situation to be in. Kicking him out isn’t going to help, but I thinks some professional help may be needed and some support groups to help.


  • I think kicking him out is going to make matters much worse. Sounds like you both need extra support. So sorry to hear you are going through this, but please don’t kick him out. Love always wins in the end.


  • I haven’t been in your shoes so it’s hard to comment, but I would most likely be trying to help him get back on track before his life spirals further out of control.


  • There are refuges & programs for youth in need. Unfortunately at that age your say is not going to determine his decisions. Sometimes you find yourself just enabling the bad behaviour rather than aiding a recovery. Also, regardless of being your child; your home should be your sanctum. Not a source of fear or upset. You’re between a hard place & a rock right now. Take some time to calm down & make a decision then. Best of luck little mumma. I hope it works out for you both, down the line.


  • I think you both need to get help. He needs help with his addictions and you need help showing you what you can do to help you both. It’s a very sticky situation especially since he’s stealing from you. Would his Dad be willing to take him in for a while to give you a break?


  • I hear you. I have moments of similar temptation. HOwever, I don’t think it would help either of you. Can you get some professional help from an organisation used to dealing with troubled teens?


  • Please don’t kick him out. He is clearly struggling and needs to know someone loves and cares for him. It’s natural for teenagers to have rebelious behaviour and even more so if they struggle with mental health issues and divorced parents. He needs a psychologist and some professional help. If he had underlying mental health issues, the drug use and video games is just a way he’s learnt how to cope. He needs to know you’ll be there for him no matter what and help him get better. If he doesn’t have that he’ll never get better.
    My brother is similar. He turned to drugs and video games. Mum almost kicked him out but chose to get him extra help and be that reassuring love. He now is a manager at a pizza shop (started off just cooking) and his video games and drug use are at a very minimum. They do get better with more love and care. If mum had of kicked him out, he would be dead of an overdose. Please don’t give up on your son!

    • I agree, keep on loving on him, it could safe his life.


  • It sounds like he really didnt grow up in a normal household. Divorce irreparably damages a child.
    Your reasons for wanting to kick him out sound poor. He cost you money? Surely the crime is worse? It is a very confusing post.


  • This is really tough because at the end of the day he’s your son and he’s still a child but I can definitely understand your frustration. I’m honestly not sure what I’d do in this situation.


  • This sounds remarkably similar to my brother. My parents did everything to help him and even now at 41 he still thinks he’s a victim. There comes a point where a child needs to learn there a very real consequences for the actions and he needs to choose to do the right thing. This is not something you can force and by letting him live in your house, taking advantage of you, you are enabling the behaviour and it’s not good for you either. I think he needs to be kicked out and he needs to learn that if he doesn’t get a job he doesn’t get to eat.


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