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November 12, 2019

53 Comments

Falling pregnant is usually a happy time, a cause for celebration. Friends and family gather round to congratulate you and ask loads of questions – Do you think it’s a boy? Have you had any morning sickness? Do you have a name picked out? Though, for many women like this young mum it’s a very different experience.

One Mum has shared her story, anonymously, with our Mouths of Mums community.

15 And Pregnant

“I was 15 when I fell pregnant with my eldest.

I told my mum by writing a note, sticking the positive pregnancy test to it and throwing it on her bed to find later. I quickly ran to ‘work’ even though I didn’t start for another 8 hours. She wasn’t happy.

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The father was my brothers friend; he was 21 and an alcoholic.

Mum tried to do whatever she could to get rid of the baby. She took me to multiple doctors and planned parenthood centres to try and get them to tell me to abort but legally they couldn’t and medically it was my decision as I was over 14. She even suggested I gave the baby to her friends who couldn’t have kids.

I ended up having him and 6 years later, my Mum and my son have the strongest bond I have ever seen.

I had PND however because of guilt and shame I didn’t seek the help I needed and lied on all the questionnaires. I think that because of this, my son prefers my mother over me when it comes to emotional support. I feel the we are just missing some level of connection that I have with my younger kids.

My son doesn’t see his dad often, 6 times in 6 years to be exact. His dad came to see him at 4, 5, and 6 weeks old, after that he denied any relation to him. It wasn’t until last year that he began to show interest again.

I agreed to meet up and allow them to have a relationship as I believed he did want to know his son. They’ve seen each other twice since that day and that was 18 months ago.

My son and I met my current partner when he was 18 months old and has known him as did since – he knew the concept of a ‘dad’ from daycare, his friend would get picked up by ‘dad’ so he began calling every male in his life by that title.

My partner and I have since had 2 more children.

With his daughter to his ex and our 3 boys, we definitely have our hands full but if I was to change my decision about having a baby so young, who knows where I’d be. I’m glad he has a positive male role model in his life.

We are happy. Especially because I was getting ready to drop out of school but decided to stay and complete my HSC for my son.”

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball, with a silver lining.

 

Did your family and friends celebrate your pregnancy? SHARE your story with us in the comments below.

  • I sincerely hope that my children don’t feel like we would be angry if they fell (or got someone) pregnant at any age. I really feel for those whose parents react in such a way! If my son got a girl pregnant and her parents reacted badly, she would always have a place with us. I don’t believe a baby will ruin lives, it’s just an unexpected chapter some times, and you can always pick up your plans at a later date.

    Reply

  • I was 20 and the father of the baby was in another state by the time I found out. My mother was not very happy at all when I finally told her. Dad had left us a few years earlier so did not have to face that one. I even moved down to the state where he was living and stayed with some of his family but a few months later came home as he moved to another state for work. By then being seven months I was showing and so questions were asked by a few people. Mum being a midwife at the hospital had to let her work mates know as I would be having my baby there. There reaction was I should had got rid of it. Even had a social worker come see me as had to go into hospital early as having problems. She gave me the papers to think it over having my baby adopted, I was 21 by then. Mum refused to acknowledge she was a grandparent after he was born as I nearly died having him. She is still not that close to him and that was 37 years ago. I ended up marrying his father a few years later and we had more children.
    When my father found out he was surprised it was his quiet daughter who had a baby out of marriage not his wild child.

    Reply

  • I have always been there for my friends to celebrate their pregnancies, especially my best friend who’s trying to fall pregnant but her own mum has commented how selfish it is to bring a child in the world when we have such environmental issues…I’m trying to remain positive and strong for her.

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  • Mum’s bond is strong. Hard to start having a family when still a child yourself. With family help it worked out.

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  • Children are such a blessing so you do what you can with what you can..

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  • such a hard thing to go threw at a young age

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  • such a hard thing to go threw so young

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  • Things could have turned out so differently for this Mum but I’m glad she persevered.

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  • I’m so glad things worked out for this young mum. I would have wanted to have a child or children in my late 20’s but was in my late 30’s when I had my child.

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  • Great story.

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  • My family weren’t as joyous as I hoped. He wasn’t the first grandchild on either side of our families.. I didn’t even get to have a baby shower. I don’t care how much others love my son, my husband and I adore him.. he is the best thing to every happen to us!! I guess thats why we spoil him but noone else visits him or gets him anything so I don’t care if people get snooty at how much we have given him!

    Reply

  • Yes, but not in the way I had hoped. Hubby and I tried for 4 years to have a baby and were successful on what we had agreed would be our absolute last attempt. However, in-laws decided to share our news with people and took much of the shine off our happy news. I also had a sister who couldn’t have kids and somehow that reflected on us too. So no, we didn’t get from our family what I would have hoped. However, we were very lucky to have loving and supportive friends.

    Reply

  • Gosh, how lucky your mum didn’t succeed in her attempts to get this baby out of your life.

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  • It must have been so tough, being pregnant at 15. But I am glad that things turned out well, that your son has a great grandma and a great family too. :-)

    Reply

  • A very informative story which I hope helps others in this situation.

    Reply

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