November 12, 2019

Falling pregnant is usually a happy time, a cause for celebration. Friends and family gather round to congratulate you and ask loads of questions – Do you think it’s a boy? Have you had any morning sickness? Do you have a name picked out? Though, for many women like this young mum it’s a very different experience.

One Mum has shared her story, anonymously, with our Mouths of Mums community.

15 And Pregnant

“I was 15 when I fell pregnant with my eldest.

I told my mum by writing a note, sticking the positive pregnancy test to it and throwing it on her bed to find later. I quickly ran to ‘work’ even though I didn’t start for another 8 hours. She wasn’t happy.

The father was my brothers friend; he was 21 and an alcoholic.

Mum tried to do whatever she could to get rid of the baby. She took me to multiple doctors and planned parenthood centres to try and get them to tell me to abort but legally they couldn’t and medically it was my decision as I was over 14. She even suggested I gave the baby to her friends who couldn’t have kids.

I ended up having him and 6 years later, my Mum and my son have the strongest bond I have ever seen.

I had PND however because of guilt and shame I didn’t seek the help I needed and lied on all the questionnaires. I think that because of this, my son prefers my mother over me when it comes to emotional support. I feel the we are just missing some level of connection that I have with my younger kids.

My son doesn’t see his dad often, 6 times in 6 years to be exact. His dad came to see him at 4, 5, and 6 weeks old, after that he denied any relation to him. It wasn’t until last year that he began to show interest again.

I agreed to meet up and allow them to have a relationship as I believed he did want to know his son. They’ve seen each other twice since that day and that was 18 months ago.

My son and I met my current partner when he was 18 months old and has known him as did since – he knew the concept of a ‘dad’ from daycare, his friend would get picked up by ‘dad’ so he began calling every male in his life by that title.

My partner and I have since had 2 more children.

With his daughter to his ex and our 3 boys, we definitely have our hands full but if I was to change my decision about having a baby so young, who knows where I’d be. I’m glad he has a positive male role model in his life.

We are happy. Especially because I was getting ready to drop out of school but decided to stay and complete my HSC for my son.”

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball, with a silver lining.

 

Did your family and friends celebrate your pregnancy? SHARE your story with us in the comments below.

  • Mum’s bond is strong. Hard to start having a family when still a child yourself. With family help it worked out.

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  • Children are such a blessing so you do what you can with what you can..

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  • such a hard thing to go threw at a young age

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  • such a hard thing to go threw so young

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  • Things could have turned out so differently for this Mum but I’m glad she persevered.

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  • I’m so glad things worked out for this young mum. I would have wanted to have a child or children in my late 20’s but was in my late 30’s when I had my child.

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  • Great story.

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  • My family weren’t as joyous as I hoped. He wasn’t the first grandchild on either side of our families.. I didn’t even get to have a baby shower. I don’t care how much others love my son, my husband and I adore him.. he is the best thing to every happen to us!! I guess thats why we spoil him but noone else visits him or gets him anything so I don’t care if people get snooty at how much we have given him!

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  • Yes, but not in the way I had hoped. Hubby and I tried for 4 years to have a baby and were successful on what we had agreed would be our absolute last attempt. However, in-laws decided to share our news with people and took much of the shine off our happy news. I also had a sister who couldn’t have kids and somehow that reflected on us too. So no, we didn’t get from our family what I would have hoped. However, we were very lucky to have loving and supportive friends.

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  • Gosh, how lucky your mum didn’t succeed in her attempts to get this baby out of your life.

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  • It must have been so tough, being pregnant at 15. But I am glad that things turned out well, that your son has a great grandma and a great family too. :-)

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  • A very informative story which I hope helps others in this situation.

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  • It’s a big responsibility but at least she didn’t live with the regret

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  • I think you are a tough, wonderful woman who didn’t give up when it was hard.

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  • lovely ending

    Reply

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