Falling pregnant is usually a happy time, a cause for celebration. Friends and family gather round to congratulate you and ask loads of questions – Do you think it’s a boy? Have you had any morning sickness? Do you have a name picked out? Though, for many women like this young mum it’s a very different experience.
One Mum has shared her story, anonymously, with our Mouths of Mums community.
15 And Pregnant
“I was 15 when I fell pregnant with my eldest.
I told my mum by writing a note, sticking the positive pregnancy test to it and throwing it on her bed to find later. I quickly ran to ‘work’ even though I didn’t start for another 8 hours. She wasn’t happy.
The father was my brothers friend; he was 21 and an alcoholic.
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Mum tried to do whatever she could to get rid of the baby. She took me to multiple doctors and planned parenthood centres to try and get them to tell me to abort but legally they couldn’t and medically it was my decision as I was over 14. She even suggested I gave the baby to her friends who couldn’t have kids.
I ended up having him and 6 years later, my Mum and my son have the strongest bond I have ever seen.
I had PND however because of guilt and shame I didn’t seek the help I needed and lied on all the questionnaires. I think that because of this, my son prefers my mother over me when it comes to emotional support. I feel the we are just missing some level of connection that I have with my younger kids.
My son doesn’t see his dad often, 6 times in 6 years to be exact. His dad came to see him at 4, 5, and 6 weeks old, after that he denied any relation to him. It wasn’t until last year that he began to show interest again.
I agreed to meet up and allow them to have a relationship as I believed he did want to know his son. They’ve seen each other twice since that day and that was 18 months ago.
My son and I met my current partner when he was 18 months old and has known him as did since – he knew the concept of a ‘dad’ from daycare, his friend would get picked up by ‘dad’ so he began calling every male in his life by that title.
My partner and I have since had 2 more children.
With his daughter to his ex and our 3 boys, we definitely have our hands full but if I was to change my decision about having a baby so young, who knows where I’d be. I’m glad he has a positive male role model in his life.
We are happy. Especially because I was getting ready to drop out of school but decided to stay and complete my HSC for my son.”
Sometimes life throws you a curve ball, with a silver lining.
Did your family and friends celebrate your pregnancy? SHARE your story with us in the comments below.