If ever you’ve been asked if you have a favourite child, your immediate response is probably, ‘all of them!’ Or perhaps you’re one of the many parents who actually does have a favourite child, and is happy to admit it.
“Be honest, do you have a favourite kid?” a reddit user recently asked.
“Yes,” replied one person with utter honesty, “I also only have one child.”
Another joked, “No, they are both insane.”
While one mum was really honest, sharing, “I absolutely do. My middle son, 10, is a product of IVF and he is my absolute favourite. I love all my kids but that kid just takes the cake for me.”
The reality is, and research supports this, most parents have a favourite child. Dr. Tracy Asamoah says, “The question isn’t whether or not you have a favourite child, since it’s pretty clear that many parents do. Typically, favouritism has little to do with loving one child more. It is more about how your personality resonates with one child’s personality more than the other’s. Essentially, it’s a question of like.”
So why are we so hesitant to reveal the truth? Some parents might carry guilt around feeling this way, or worry that they’ll harm their kid by revealing who is a favourite.
Dr. Tracy Asamoah advises, “Instead of succumbing to guilt or resorting to denial, you can (and should) reflect on how you relate to each of your children, and make an effort to understand how your feelings towards each child can impact your parenting practices and the parent-child relationship.”
For some it’s not about having a chosen favourite, but a preferred child for doing particular things with, “They are each my favourite at different times. If I’m going to the amusement park – my daughter (3) is my favourite because she absolutely loves it. Her eyes light up with excitement. She just wants to ride, ride, ride,” one parent explained.
They continued, “If I’m checking out a new show – my son (6) is my favourite because he will totally immerse himself in it. He will learn all the characters names. He will discuss in depth what happened each episode. He will theme His entire day around that show (Camp Cretaceous caused a new love with his dinosaurs which he hadn’t played with in awhile)”
Do you have a favourite child? Or just a favourite kid to do particular things with?