Hello!

If ever you’ve been asked if you have a favourite child, your immediate response is probably, ‘all of them!’ Or perhaps you’re one of the many parents who actually does have a favourite child, and is happy to admit it.

“Be honest, do you have a favourite kid?” a reddit user recently asked.

“Yes,” replied one person with utter honesty, “I also only have one child.”

Another joked, “No, they are both insane.”

While one mum was really honest, sharing, “I absolutely do. My middle son, 10, is a product of IVF and he is my absolute favourite. I love all my kids but that kid just takes the cake for me.”

The reality is, and research supports this, most parents have a favourite child. Dr. Tracy Asamoah says, “The question isn’t whether or not you have a favourite child, since it’s pretty clear that many parents do. Typically, favouritism has little to do with loving one child more. It is more about how your personality resonates with one child’s personality more than the other’s. Essentially, it’s a question of like.”

So why are we so hesitant to reveal the truth? Some parents might carry guilt around feeling this way, or worry that they’ll harm their kid by revealing who is a favourite.

Dr. Tracy Asamoah advises, “Instead of succumbing to guilt or resorting to denial, you can (and should) reflect on how you relate to each of your children, and make an effort to understand how your feelings towards each child can impact your parenting practices and the parent-child relationship.”

For some it’s not about having a chosen favourite, but a preferred child for doing particular things with, “They are each my favourite at different times. If I’m going to the amusement park – my daughter (3) is my favourite because she absolutely loves it. Her eyes light up with excitement. She just wants to ride, ride, ride,” one parent explained.

They continued, “If I’m checking out a new show – my son (6) is my favourite because he will totally immerse himself in it. He will learn all the characters names. He will discuss in depth what happened each episode. He will theme His entire day around that show (Camp Cretaceous caused a new love with his dinosaurs which he hadn’t played with in awhile)”

Do you have a favourite child? Or just a favourite kid to do particular things with?

  • It’s not ok to voice it aloud but I’m sure many parents have a favourite child. I don’t have a favourite but one of my daughters is so much easier to get along with than the other.

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  • Omg no its never ok to have a favourite. I love all my kids equally. I have been very lucky to have large gaps between them so have been able to spoil each. In saying that whatever * did for the first I did for the last. One day the oldest said 6ou never did that for me and I told him I did, came back later an said yes you did I remember. Kids feel terrible when they are singled out by being favourite. My mother terrible always has a favourite even with friends kids. It’s so wrong.

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  • Yes, I have a favourite child and they alternate each day lol. It depends who behaves the most.
    I think the article suggest to what personalities get along easier/better

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  • I love them all equally. They are all different :)

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  • I think like the article suggests you get along better sure to personality

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  • I honestly don’t have a favourite child. My boys are special in many different ways which makes them both perfect for me. My late husband and I did have a favourite granddaughter though they never knew it then and they will never know. My grandson is a definite favourite but that’s only because he is so much like my husband it’s uncanny. I think you can have a favourite but you should never ever let them know. I was the middle child in my family and I was always told that. Funny thing though, when my Mum needed someone or something I was the one who had to sort it out for her.

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  • My parents would deny having a favourite. I think I was my dads favourite tho, I was the first born daughter after 5 boys, he often said how happy he was when I was born. My brother is my mums favourite. I think because she had to give up 1 son, when she had another, she loved him enough for 2

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  • This is very clear. Every mum wants less troubles from kids.

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  • I have 3 children and I can honestly say that I do not have a favourite. They are all so different and I love them all the same.

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  • I have an only child, so he is clearly our favourite. However, having grown up with 3 siblings, I do feel it is never okay to have a favourite child. It happens, it happened in our family with the oldest and youngest, and my psychologist bills prove the impact it had on me. So no, it’s not okay.


    • Sorry to hear you’ve experienced this rovermum ! xx



      • And I agree, it’s totally not okay !

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  • This completely makes sense. You have a preference depending on the activity and I honestly agree.

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  • I think most parents won’t admit to having a favourite because they think it means they don’t love all their kids the same. As this article explains, it’s not about who you love the most, it’s who you resonate with the most. I enjoy time with both kids for different things

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  • More common that you think I recon

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  • I only have one child of my own. I also have a step-son who was 12 when hubby and I got together. Of course my biological child is my favourite, she was only 6 months old when hubby and I got together, but I love my step-son too. I think he understands that his step-sister is my favourite, although I don’t treat them any differently as they are both adults now. We really only had him with us during school holidays and such when he was growing up so it is a bit different I suppose.

    I will add that I was not my mother’s favourite and she showed me everyday that my brother was her baby and her favourite. She constantly let me know that I was “less than” in her eyes and it is something that has affected my mental health most of my life. We all probably have favourites if we are honest, but we need to treat our children the same regardless. No child should ever be made to feel “less than”.

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  • Even if you have a favourite, your children should never hear it. My husband only has a sister & his parents never tried to hide the fact that she was the favourite and it has scared him deeply. It still affects him at 43, especially now that his father has passed & he is left questioning if he was even his biological father because of it. His mother has also hinted at having a favourite grandchild out of our three children, which I will never understand :(

    Reply

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