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A bride-to-be says she doesn’t want her bridesmaid’s newborn at her wedding, but is feeling unsure about telling her.

The 26-year-old is getting married in October, and her bridesmaid Kate, 27, recently announced she’s expecting a baby.

“We actually found out a few weeks prior but she asked us to keep it quiet until they officially announced it – but the topic of having a baby at the wedding came up and I feel like an a**hole because I don’t want their baby at the wedding,” the bride-to-be explained.

“Some context, I am having a minimal kids wedding. The only kids invited are the kids in the wedding and their respective siblings, and my niece due in May. I wanted to minimise the amount of restless kids and screaming babies at the ceremony specifically.”

The bride-to-be says Kate is due just two weeks before the wedding, meaning her baby will be a newborn.

“I don’t mind that she is having a baby, I’m actually really excited for them because they are the first couple to have a baby in our friend group, but I don’t really want to have baby at the wedding ceremony.”

“I don’t want to ask her to step down because she is a good friend and I want her to stand by my side. Kate’s parent aren’t close to us so they are not coming to the wedding so there are close relatives that they can have babysit baby for the ceremony at least. I would ideally like for them to watch baby for the reception but I already know asking for the ceremony might be a stretch.

“So would I be the a**hole if I asked my bridesmaid to not bring her newborn to our wedding (ceremony at least)?”

Make sure you share your opinion in the comments below. 

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  • There is no way she can expect a new mum not to be with her newborn. They are a unit. Newborns are easy to accomodate, It’s when they get to a few months that it gets trickier having them out.

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  • Give your friend a way out so no-one’s feelings get hurt.

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  • …yes.
    There is no justification.
    When we did it, we invited her parents (and obviously husband) to help while we did the photos.

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  • I think you should talk to your friend who may also be having second thoughts about even being your bridesmaid. She is probably trying to work out a way of letting you down graciously because I am sure I wouldn’t want to be there in that capacity if I had just given birth. I can see all sorts of problems – the bridesmaid’s dress won’t be able to be fitted and checked and the baby might come later than expected or earlier or her waters might even break at your wedding ceremony. Have a heart, and give your friend a way out of this catastrophe.

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  • maybe if the newborn can be looked after quite close to the ceremony. hard one

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  • I think if you ask your friend to leave her newborn you will need to find a new bridesmaid…

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  • I don’t think a newborn can be left without it’s mum for that long…

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  • Absolutely if a newborn. They’d most likely sleep the whole time

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  • What a great friend you are 2 weeks old and leave the baby behind .Wait until you have children opps sorry I dont think you will have any children

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  • Toddler maybe i could understand but a newborn should not be expected to be left without their mum unless it was the mum’s choice to do so. Having a newborn is stressful as it is. If you’re a close friend she should understand.

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  • She has to realise the bride’s maid probably won’t be there. You can’t expect a mum to dip out on a newborn. Not an ah to ask.

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  • I agree, I’d sit down with her and have an honest chat, chances are she’s probably stressed about it herself.

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  • First of all you don’t know if the bridemaid is going to make it, she could be overdue or have birth complications. But if she can make it I wouldn’t push it too far. I would ask if her partner can come along and watch the baby when mum can’t watch it. A newborn needs to be close by it’s parents at all time. Have an open conversation about it together.

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  • I’d be sitting down with her now and asking if she still wants to be in the party. She may have worries herself being due so close in time. I understand but as a good friend I’d be letting the baby come, just asking that her partner, or the person caring for the baby during the ceremony, keep to the back. In all honestly, she may not want to bring her baby and may be having second thoughts.

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  • Communicate on this. Given the baby is due just prior to the wedding, she may not even be able to attend the wedding. Good chance she’ll be giving birth on the day of the wedding


    • Communication is key and this needs to be done immediately and with sensitivity.

    Reply

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