Calls for midwives and doctor’s to stop putting mums last!

Blogger, dancer, author and fashion designer, Constance Hall has had enough of everyone telling mums that BABY comes first. Isn’t it time we teach mums to put themselves first for once!?

Sharing with her audience of over 1.3 million followers The Dancing With the Stars contestant wrote:

“How are you? I ask yet another pair of glazed over eyes. Sometimes I get an honest reply followed by a few escaping tears..

“Not so good.” She says almost apologetically.

“I just don’t feel myself. I feel overwhelmed all day, tired and I can’t sleep.”

And then the next friend, “how are you?”

“Great! I’ve just been diagnosed with post natal depression. Happy days- fuck my life.”

“They probably think I don’t understand, like my life of flying around for meetings or TV or radio has some how exempt me from these feelings.

“The truth is that I too am always overwhelmed.

“One more kid to dress, one more meal to make, one more trip to Woolworths where I prey I don’t bump into anyone because I just don’t have any conversation inside me and I’m so tried of pretending.

“I want to be my energetic bubbly self, the women everyone expects me to be.. but deep down I know that tomorrow there will be another $400 trip to the school uniform shop and $700 electricity bill, more forms to fill out for school and lunches to make… and the next day… and the next day.. and the fucking cunting next day…

“When I had my first baby the midwives introduced me to a program they called “baby first” and it was all about what’s best for the baby. I was schooled on the safest ways for the baby to sleep, to feed, to be put in a car seat, to be held… and it quickly occurred to me that baby first.. meant mamma last.

“So welcome to motherhood and a generation of mamma’s coming last in their own lives.

“What have we done to women? We have locked them in four walls like a zoo, going around and around in circles keeping babies and children happy on our own, waiting for a man to come home from work. Even our mums can’t help us because they are still working until they can no longer walk these days just to avoid homelessness…. and they wonder why we aren’t happy? Why we are on those antidepressants Or in therapy? Or simply not grateful for our blessed lives?

And a lot of women are happy.. I relish in that..

But too many are miserable.”

We need a mamma first program.

Constance says it is time we consider a mamma first program to teach women how to look after themselves.

“You need to take your friends children so they can holiday, eat out. Get creative. Get in nature. Talk to your doctor, your friends. Buy the dress, Be f#cking honest because we are all here together, trying to survive the Groundhog Day of relentless shit.

“Your friends need to take your kids. You need to make dinner together, we need this village of women because society is leaving us behind. And frankly I’m worried, I’m worried about women and I’m worried about children raised by women who are putting themselves last.

“And most of all you need to know you are not alone and you have not failed.

“I get thousands of messages every week from depressed women. Society has failed us, it has separated us and failed us. And it’s up to us to find each other again.

“Socialising is more important than house work. Do you understand that? Every single day.

“Putting mamma first won’t put your baby last. It will teach your children how to prioritise their own happiness.”

Constance’s post has attracted over 3500 shares and 2.6K comments.

Do you have a supportive village behind you?

Share your comments below


  • I am a single mum, my dad helps me with things around the house and looks after my youngest on the rare occasions I need, otherwise it’s just me.

    Reply


  • I didn’t now much about Constance Hall til she was on dancing with the stars, now I happily follow her and actually like what she has to say

    Reply


  • I’m so lucky to have a fantastic support network don’t know how anyone does it alone.

    Reply


  • Things are so different now. I was lucky with my husband because he always told me that I needed to put myself first. Everything will run smoothly as long as I was

    Reply


  • Things have changed so much because of working women – somehow I think it was easier in the older days when the village did help rear the child. Unheard if now as you can’t even tell someone else’s child off or stop them from hurting themselves.

    Reply


  • I don’t read much from Constance Hall because her potty mouth puts me off. But I did read this and I agree with her – we do need to prioritise mothers from the back of the heap. I also agree that mums’ definitely need more support from neighbours, friends, communities. It IS a hard gig but it’s a marathon not a sprint, so you do have to have a support team otherwise you’re going to suffer.

    Reply


  • As much as I hate Constance hall, at any point the women, her choices and desires are very rarely considered. Constance has clearly made some poor choices and didn’t think much of the consequence though, she’s lazy and doesn’t want to put her kids needs first and asking for an excuse and pardon for her crappy behaviour

    Reply


  • I do agree with this. I’m in a much better place now, but I totally agree. We’ve been told we can have it all… but we can’t have it all at once. We then try to live up to an ideal of what we should do. Well, I had PND, I’ve been in therapy and am currently. My son is now 18 and it’s taken me most of this time to now work on myself.

    Reply


  • Had a great group of nurses when my babies were premmie. They were always checking in on me, making sure I was ok and asking if they could do anything for me. That continued with the health nurse. She would even offer me a cuppa when I went to see her with my babies.

    Reply


  • Completely agree with her

    Reply


  • I have great family & friends. I
    Don’t see them everyday but know they are there & can always pick up the phone. Every women needs a great network. It does get hard doing it on your own.

    Reply


  • I was more overwhelmed with my second as I also had a 7 year old and my partner was no longer in the picture. My parents where very supportive but my in laws wanted nothing to do with us so my poor parents where left with burden from me, god bless them I wouldn’t have survived without them

    Reply


  • No I don’t have a supportive village behind me.


    • but I do agree with what Constance says here

    Reply


  • It’s not easy. And i know when my second arrives i’ll Be overwhelmed too.

    Reply


  • It would be great if places such as gyms and other ladies groups had a creche, even if one or two Mums took turns in the creche / playroom each week. Some Mums may not have a relative who is able to mind the baby at all.

    Reply

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