Motherhood is a road signposted with constant milestones – the ‘firsts’. Those pivotal moments that mark the start of each new chapter. But what no-one seems to talk about are those heartbreaking ‘lasts’.
Those delicious first weeks of motherhood are filled with every sensory delight imaginable. That milky baby breath, the ‘newborn scrunch’ every time you pick up your little one, the fluttering eyelids and gassy smiles.
And as long as the nine months previous felt, those beautiful firsts and newborn days are gone in an absolute flash. And therein lies the agony and ecstasy of being a mum. While we pine for each new first – saying ‘mum’, walking, clapping … we are mourning the lasts. And I’m finding as my youngest child gets older, each last is a little more crushing.
These ‘lasts’ will break your heart, because one day you’ll look back and not even realise that they happened.
There will be a last time you carry your child in your arms. And you won’t know it. I still try and pick up my 11-year-old every now and again … just to prove I can do it.
The last bedtime story.
The last Christmas they believe in Santa. This was last year for my youngest, and I shed so many tears.
The last onesie worn.
The last pram ride.
The last snuggle in bed.
The last time you patch a grazed knee.
The last bath they need your help.
The last time they need a push on the swing.
The last time they hold your hand on a walk.
The last time you tuck them in.
As mothers, we don’t really talk about these ‘lasts’. Maybe it’s because they’re just too painful. Maybe we’re in denial. These lasts are so bittersweet, because when you think about it, they’re not just an ending, they’re a beginning. The start of a new chapter. More independence.
And that’s what we’re here for – to raise these beautiful beings so that, once their wings are ready, they’ll take flight.
Hold onto all of the precious mundane moments as they unfurl each day, because you never quite know when it will be a ‘last’.
What are some of the motherhood ‘lasts’ that give you the feels? Let us know in the comments below.
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