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As I sit here writing this, the baby is finally asleep in her cot after having extricated her tentacle like limbs from my body (I swear she is part octopus).

My older two are firmly entrenched in the bedroom watching Channel 22. It was the first number they learnt as toddlers and it fast became my favourite number at 5 o’clock in the evening.

Here is my epiphany for today…

I have found a new way to come up short as Mother of the Year.

This morning, I took my twelve month old to the doctor for her immunisations. The nurse took one look at her and asked if she had been feeling well.

I was on the ball enough to say that immunisation day would most likely have to be postponed because she was really suffering from teething combined with a cold.  But I didn’t want to assume so I had kept the appointment.

Teething and a cold? Not quite.

Ten minutes later, I was being told that my baby was suffering from tonsillitis, we were being taken down to X-ray to see if she had developed pneumonia and swabs were being taken from her eyes to be sent to the pathologist to check if we were going for the triple whammy or just the double.

Epic fail in mother’s intuition.

I drove home searching the recesses of my mind for any type of the sixth sense parents talk about.

Was I not supposed to know “in my gut” that something was wrong?  Was there not some sort of alarm that was supposed to sound in my ear to tell me that my daughter needed a doctor?

Of course I knew she wasn’t well.  She was clingy and off her food. But her eldest sister had had a cold the previous week.  It had passed through her second sister as well so I immediately assumed that the baby wouldn’t be able to escape it.  I thought a little cold would be a good immune builder for her.  I didn’t want to run off to the doctor just because of a sniffle.

Combine this with the fact that she had finally popped one of her bottom teeth and the rest of her gums were doing a good impression of a treeless mountain range. Teething is cruel, but once again, not doctor-worthy.

Intuition. Intuition.  Where for art thou, intuition?

You hear mothers saying when they have received an unwelcome diagnosis, “I just knew. I knew something wasn’t right.  Call it mother’s intuition”.  Well my mother’s intuition must have been left at the hospital.  Maybe it had been thrown away with the placenta.  Maybe I didn’t see the sign “Collect intuition here” as I left the hospital with my newborn. My husband does tell me that I sometimes walk around with my head in the clouds but I doubt they have second helpings up there for me to grab.

Maybe my intuition was being dulled by the fact that a doctor’s appointment can take up to 5 hours out of my day.

A 45 minutes to drive from our family cattle property to our local town.  An hour, if not two, of waiting to be seen by the doctor (I have waited in excess of 3 hours on one occasion).  30 minutes for the actual consultation (unless extra tests are needed).  And then another 45 minutes to drive home.

I need to organise 3 kids.  I have to pack smoko and lunch, trying not to forget the waterbottles.  I need to make sure I have nappies, wipes, a spare set of clothes (for each child) and the bloody red book (Queenslander thing).   I do need to clarify, however, that the doctors at our local medical centre are freakin’ FANtastic and I would wait a whole day if I needed to.  But for a cold and excess teething??

Maybe it is because I have been desensitised to injury and illness by my two hypochondriacs in the house.

I should buy shares in a bandaid company.  Combined with the shares I should buy in “Itchy cream”, “I-have-a-sore-lip cream”, “I-have-a-sore-arm cream”, “I-have-a-sore-leg cream” and “Coughers (pronounced coffers) syrup”, my husband and I could retire early.

My older children almost thrive on being ill. I am at a loss to explain this phenomenon.  Surprisingly, these ailments always tend to appear when it is ‘clean up your room time’.  And they always seem to disappear as soon as you mention that they can’t go to kindy/daycare or that they can’t go swimming or have a treat.

Maybe my intuition has gone on sabbatical? The problem here is for it to go on sabbatical; it had to be at work in order to require the timeout.  My lazy intuition didn’t even go for the job interview so I can’t see why it should be on extended leave.

I really hope it puts in an application before my girls are teenagers.  I’m not sure if will be intuition at work or the conspiracy theorist in me that will have me donning dark clothing and black war paint as I stealthily sneak into their rooms during the night to make sure they are still in their beds (and on their own).

Luckily for me, my husband is a grazier and graziers own guns.  Maybe I won’t need mother’s intuition after all.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com
  • Thanks for the article, we can only do our best.

    Reply

  • I do believe I never possessed the infamous mothers intuition either. There were lots of guilty mummy moments where I missed things I felt I should have picked up on

    Reply

  • Oh I did have a giggle reading this. Thanks so much for putting a smile on my face. A great read

    Reply

  • hahaha what a great article! this had many points that i laughed out loud. this is honest and humourous and i hope to see more articles from you!


    • cheers Krista for sharing this post, excellent job

    Reply

  • That is so familiar to me too. We also ‘exist’ in Queensland, somewhere in the sticks. We’ve had cases of blood poisoning, red belly snake bites and thankfully even though we are an hour away from that 5 hour wait in ER we managed to get there in time and have a good outcome. I agree…my mother’s intuition got thrown out with the baby bath water!
    Thanks for this story…had a much needed giggle!

    Reply

  • Sometimes little organisation helps live on farm out of town too just have to do those things as everyday life

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  • Hahaha the end of that was very funny, most girls whos dadys own gunslike to aadvertise that fact to the boys or girls they are interested in

    Reply

  • this is a great article but what i am thinking right now is , that it has been the longest time since i heard anyone use the term “smoko” lol

    good on ya!

    Reply

  • Whenever you think it’s something to be worried about & go to the doctor, they usually say it’s nothing anyway. Even when there’s high temperatures, sore throats, coughs etc.
    It’s understandable when we don’t always get it right.

    Reply

  • 3 hours is good. we waited in the city children emergency hospital for 4 hours and told that was a short wait!! I would hate to know what a long wait is!

    Reply

  • I can totally relate – thought my son had a cold and didn’t need to go to the doctor but I needed a doctor’s certificate for being off work so took him along and it turned out to be tonsillitis.
    But my personal favourite was when he was running a high temperature which I put down to the fact he had just had his 12 month immunisations – until I got home and he had pus coming out of his ear due to a burst eardrum from the ear infection he had been fighting…

    Reply

  • I’m fortunate that our medical centre takes appointments and are pretty good at sticking to time, otherwise I don’t think our Naughties would ever get there for anything!!

    Reply

  • I think everyone has momentary lapses in their intuition.

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  • Lol, your article made me smile. I am at the point of I don’t want to take bub to the Dr anymore coz everytime I have it was nothing. She’s my first :)

    Reply

  • I love it when it’s the other way, you have had a sick child at home, temperature, clingy totally not themselves, get to the doctors and they suddenly are full of energy and ready to play.

    Reply

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