Mum confessed her six-year-old daughter still uses a dummy and cops instant judgement.
She says her daughter’s dummy use is restricted to bedtime “strictly to go to sleep”, explaining it helps her “wind down right before bed”.
“We have tried many times to get her to give it up but it’s always a massive struggle,” the woman writes. “We’ve had visits for the dummy fairy and Santa to take them away, we’ve read books about giving it up, and once we even ‘forgot’ it when we came back from holiday.” She adds that her daughter is aware she is too old for a dummy and embarrassed that she still uses it, and that any efforts to stop leave her feeling “upset”.
She goes on to say, “We saw on the one show the other night, this woman that helps children give up the dummy in five days. We watched it together and she saw children, much younger than her, give up there dummies with very little fuss. We discussed this with her, and she said that she wanted to go to bed without a dummy, starting on Sunday, (last night.) She was very excited for this, until she got into bed. She then started to sob, saying she missed her dummy, begging us to let her have it. She eventually fell asleep after 3 hours of crying, I even heard her in the night, softly sobbing. It was heartbreaking. This morning I told her how well she had done, but she just asked if she could have a dummy tonight.”
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“DH and I are conflicted, on one hand she’s way too old for it, on the other, what’s the harm?
The mum adds, “It hasn’t effected her teeth, as the dentist has assured me, and her speech is fantastic. One second she wants to be a big girl and give it up, which we are here to help and support her for, the next minute she just wants her dummy.
“I feel so evil for not letting her have it, should I just give her the dummy?”
Toughen Up Mum!
Mumsnet followers were certainly not sympathetic and told the mum to simply “toughen up”.
“This is poor parenting on your behalf, you need to be consistent with boundaries and supportive when she finds these boundaries difficult, without giving in,” one parent remarks.
“I also agree you need to toughen up and stick with it. Things will get easier eventually but at 6 years old she really doesn’t need it,” a second says.
“Throw it away so it is not an option anymore. She really is too old for it,” another writes.
“To be blunt, if my kids could do it at 2, yours can do it at 6. Yes it’s horrible hearing them unsettled in the night but inside a week she will be fine. She just has to relearn how to go to sleep. The longer you leave it the worse it will be.”
What would you do? Share your comments below.