Mum shares her thoughts over lack of etiquette around kids parties and gets absolutely slammed!

A NSW mum of three shared her thoughts on birthday party thank you notes and the internet did not respond kindly.

She wrote, “This really annoys me! We recently had my kid’s birthday party and the evening of the party, I sent either a personalised text or email to each guest thanking them for coming and their birthday present (I had noted what each person gave so I could thank everyone for the specific gift). BUT it feels like I’m the only one who does this!

“Most other parties we go to, the host parent doesn’t even acknowledge the gift. No thank you at all. There may be an impersonal group message to thank guests for the presents but I think this is an absolute cop-out!

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“Come on – if people are going to spend money and put some thought into a gift, the least you can do is say thank you! It’s just RUDE!”

The response was surprising!

People were not sympathetic to the mum at all with many telling her to quit overreacting.

Comments included:

– “HUGELY overreacting. I think it’s rude to expect a thank you, I mean the host parent pays for the party and mostly says thanks when they receive the gift!”

– “Over reacting big time!! My children thank the kid that gives them the present when they open it, as I’ve taught them manners so I don’t need to, with all the rush around with parties I don’t have time to list each present and who gave it to them let alone send messages of thanks later, if you want to do that, that’s great but you can’t expect everyone else to do it!”

– “I think you’re being a bit silly honestly, group msg whatever they’ve said thank you, they were kind and grateful. If you choose to be more specific Awesome, but some either don’t want to or are too busy to take such detailed notes.”

– “Major overreaction and presents shouldn’t hold that much importance in the first place! Just be grateful they were even given.”

– “Sorry, but yes agree with many others… an over reaction. When your child hands over the present or you drop the children off many parents say thank you then or the children say happy birthday. I know being a working mum running three children around … I personally would not send a group thank you – as it is done with the loot bag, cake and chatting to the parents.”

– “Over reacting. It’s your child’s responsibility to thank their friends for the gift after all they are the ones receiving it not you.”

– “It’s a personal choice. But l wouldn’t call a parent rude for not sending out a message . I’m thankful that the child attended the party and was their to help celebrate my child birthday. We as a society place to much importance on gift giving .”

– “Ummmm who has time for this! Most parents know others are thankful. Sorry, but you’re overreacting!”

– “Just be happy people came and bought your lil’ one a present. It’s not about the present but more the attendance.”

– “Overreacting IMO. Thanking guests as they give the gift and at cake time a general thank you all for coming and gifts is fine.”

– “Yep – over reacting. How do you even find the time amongst all the madness to note down who bought what….nice idea to thank people but I definitely am not offended by it not happening.”

– “Omg you’re so overreacting…seriously who would even get upset over this”

I must admit I used to do this when the boys were younger, but certainly don’t do it now. I think it is really only something you need to do for special occasions like weddings, Baptism, 18th birthday maybe.

What do you think? Is this mum overreacting?

Join our Facebook discussion below;

  • i’ve seen both types ..so yeahhh i’ve stopped expecting thank yous but i always thank everyone.


  • It can be a struggle to organise these things for our children. It is nice to know the amount you need to cater for, I’m a planner.


  • Only time I’ve heard of people sending thank yous is for engagement parties or weddings.


  • If you have the time to send personalised messages to each person thats great, I know I personally don’t and a group message would be sent along with a thank you from myself and my child at the time its received. Obviously not everyone is the same, so yeah I think it’s a bit of an overreaction.


  • I think a thank you at the party is enough. Birthday parties are a major part of childhood and I don’t think we need to add more pressure on ourselves to write thank you notes afterwards for every party


  • I usually give a thank you for coming when the kids are dropped off or picked up. I don’t think anyone expects a written response


  • I do give a thankyou note or a call if we didn’t get to thank the person on the day, but if they’re thanked when the child opens the present I think that’s enough. I find keeping track of what was from whom and who needs to be called on behalf of everyone else (moreso with occasions like Christmas, where it’s gifts for multiple people) a bit overwhelming, and think it’s unfair that it tends to fall to mums to do on their own.


  • I just don’t think it’s that hard to shoot a text saying thanks for coming, thanks for the pressie. I always do it, but few at our school do. Maybe it’s just the way things are now. I’ve been to 2 weddings in recent years where the couple didn’t bother with thank yous for gifts/money either!


  • I agree with the comments above it’s up to her whether she does it or not but no one else needs to.


  • ah so many people over react all the time


  • We make a special point of thanking the parents and child when the present is being handed over. We don’t open presents in front of the other kids but at home.


  • The children get the thank yous not the party organiser.


  • When you look to it actually the person who organises the party could do with a thank you and the party guests can do with a thank you for coming, everyone could do with a thank you ! But to make thank you’s as an etiquette and official goes too far. Thank you’s should be spontanious come from the heart, otherwise they’re not worthed a thing.


  • Ummm…….Isn’t the parents supplying food and games enough of a thank you? Over react much? My daughters always wrote down and since smart phones took photos of what each child gave them to help them remember and also to send a thank you note to each child. There is no lack of acknowledgement. They give you a break from parenting, give your kids food and make sure they have fun and go home with a goodies bag, that should be thanks enough.


  • I wouldn’t even think to do this. I thank everyone at the party and I think that is suffieicient


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