Mum shocked when a party bag made for her daughter’s 11th birthday was rejected by another mother and returned with a note.

She turned to the parenting forum Mumsnet to share how she was ‘fuming’ after the awkward encounter left her daughter completely embarrassed.

Her daughter was having a sleepover with four of her friends, so mum bought some gift bags to put together some party favours for the guests.

“I bought some gift bags and made up bags including some pens, a notepad with each of the girls’ initials, a little nail varnish set each, a book, a pair of novelty socks, some sweets and a piece of birthday cake,” the mum wrote.


All up the bags cost less than $20 each. However, after the party, one of the girl’s returned her bag along with a letter. Her mum had said they were ‘too generous’ and she ‘couldn’t accept it’.

Her daughter was really embarrassed “as her friend told her that her mum says I try too hard.”

“I’m mortified but also livid … I definitely don’t want to impress her or anyone else,” she wrote.

Comments on her post included – 

“That is so unbelievably rude of her. My jaw just literally dropped,” one person commented.

“How thoroughly obnoxious of the woman and what a shame for the daughter,” another said.

“You have no reason to be mortified,” was one response. “You have been nothing but kind, fun, thoughtful and generous.”

“Not everyone gets the same party – my daughter has just turned 11 and some of her friends have done no gift bags, some more splashy than others. I wouldn’t bat an eyelid either way!”

“I’d send them back with a note saying “I’m sorry you thought this was over the top but it was a gift and it seems a shame and rather over the top to deprive your DC of the pleasure it might give her. We had such fun making them, too. ”

Would you be mortified?

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Read more – Mum Held Teenage Daughter’s Party AT Kmart

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  • How very rude. So what exactly is this Mother teaching her daughter?…its so rude to return a gift and bitch about it but then to add the insult that the other Mum is a try hard. Good Lord.


  • I feel for the daughter. They should have been grateful for the effort that was put in.


  • I feel most for the little.girls, not a good example to set


  • I feel sorry for the 2 girls involved and mortified that the Mum would make her daughter return the gift. Even though you shouldn’t have to, maybe if you let the other Mum know that you did this instead of a big birthday party. Let her know you weren’t “trying too hard”, you were just trying to be nice.


  • I feel sorry for the child that had to return it to the other child, so humiliating for them both. The mother should have gone to the mother if she couldn’t be appreciative of a generous gift


  • Way to go on teaching your child how not to graciously receive gifts, how not to display empathy & kindness & what the heck is wrong with quietly regifting?


  • Yep, I am mortified. More outrage at what was a really kind gesture. There are so many other things this Mum could have done, but instead she has put her child in a terrible position by having to personally return the gift bag. Very selfish I think.


  • Not a nice response at all. She could have just accepted it and chuck it in the bin at home when she didn’t want it, no need to even say you and be hurtful in words and attitude.


  • How horrible for the child, so not fair, if the mum was not happy she should of still accepted it and phoned later to voice her opinion quietly.


  • The mum who returned it clearly wants to cause a stir. She could have called the other mum and had a private word – ridiculous to do it through the children.


  • This is not acceptable.


  • A very rude thing to do in my opinion. If you didn’t want you daughter to have something in the bag then take it out, but don’t ruin her friendship and be horrible to the parent.


  • I find it a bit rude, the mum probably put a lot of thought into the gifts


  • I read this some time back. I’m not sure the woman was being rude, it might just be her upbringing, that you don’t accept extravagant gifts, or perhaps she felt that the mother spent more on her daughter than she herself spent on the birthday girl. It’s easy to say that she is being rude and that she should have just accepted it, but there’s always two different sides to each story. If a gift bag I gave out was sent back with this note, I would have sent a note back saying I understand your concerns and would still like it very much if you could at least accept the notebook with her initials.


  • How extremely rude! I cant believe a mother would do that.


  • That is so wrong. The kids see and learn… Whatever might have been the reason, what she did was incorrect.


  • Very rude, it’s a party bag, a thankyou for coming.


  • What would be the point of that? It’s a gift, it’s not like the other mother would return the stuff and get her money back. So what is her point in returning it?!


  • Wow that’s rude. I would have accepted the gift and sent a thank you note. With only 4 guests, mum probably had more to spend personalizing rather than on lots of food and throw away party bags for 20 kids


  • She should have kindly accepted the gift with a thank you note for her generosity, her poor daughter missed out and the birthday girl would have felt hurt too.


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