A new mum has asked if she is being unreasonable to prevent her family and friends from holding her newborn baby.

A pregnant mum has asked if she is being unreasonable to prevent her family and friends from holding her newborn baby for at least six weeks.

The mum says that only feels comfortable with herself or her partner holding the baby, which will be her second child, when it is newborn as she believes the first four to six weeks are a crucial time for bonding.

Need Some Space

After telling her own mother of the plan, the mum says she began to feel some doubt about her decision.

“I told my mother this yesterday and she says she respects my right to parent whichever way I wish, but says she can’t help but feel upset at being excluded from the first month of her new grandchild’s life,” she wrote on Mumsnet. “I feel terrible that I have upset her… but my partner and I really feel that it is best not to overload our newborn with other people.”

When their first child was born, the family say they were inundated with visitors and felt as though they missed a crucial opportunity to adjust to life with their newborn baby.

A Difficult Decision

Comments on the post said that the mum’s decision could cause a divide within the family.

“It’s your choice but I find it very strange,” one wrote. “The more people who love, support and are close to your child, the better it is for them.”

“Don’t you want your family to be able to bond with the baby too?” another asked. “Grandparents can play such an important role in a child’s life. It would be a shame to put a wedge there.”

While we completely sympathise with this mum, especially when it comes to the challenge of entertaining visitors while also caring for a newborn, we can’t help but feel that setting such strict boundaries is taking things too far.

Do you think this mum has the right idea or is she doing more harm than good? Let us know in the comments.

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  • I’d let them hold the baby after vaccinations and cleaning their hands. But it’s a decision the parents make and as her mum said, respect the decision of a parent for their child.

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  • Shes probably going a but far, especially gradparents. But her choice I guess.

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  • An alternative is ensure all visitors have had all their vaccinations. If not, I agree with your decision – 6 weeks minimum.. Apart from bonding, you baby needs to build up a good immune system before being held by others. I understand Grandparents being upset. If you get ill who is going to help you take care of your bundle of joy – probably the grandparents. It is not unusual for both parents to get sick around the same time if it is contagious. Let’s face it, going out at all, especially in public at all for the first few weeks puts your baby at risk. Supermarkets have to be one of the worst places people spread germs etc. Often people show no symptoms for a few days
    after coming into contact with any sickness.

    Reply


  • Completely their choice, but 6 weeks is a little extreme. I feel the mother/child bonding is pretty instantaneous and maybe she could consider just a week or two.

    Reply


  • Their baby their rules have a quick visit and mark each day off the calendar a month will fly by and they will be holding bub in no time. As a grandparent myself I know how exciting it can be but really it’s mum and dads decision in the long run and that must be respected. You have a wonderful lifetime to bond and be involved.

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  • The bonding of baby with all the family is really important. I couldn’t have done this I was excited for mine to meet the whole family

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  • An extreme choice, which could do harm in the relationship with her family, but she’s within her rights and it is her choice really.

    Reply


  • Mm has every right to take a decision about her child and its good her partner is supporting her

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  • It’s her choice really

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  • It’s extreme, but I’m kind of on her side. Maybe she needs to make it a shorter time period, though.

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  • I’m thinking she may need to see someone about attachment issues, It certainly is her choice but I think it’s a bit extreme.

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  • Yes she is being very unreasonable. She is denying her child the chance to bond with family members. This must be so sad for her family and friends.

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  • It looks a little bit too much to me too. Some people will become a very important in your child’s life. Why do they have to wait 6 weeks to hold him?

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  • I loved watching my mum and my siblings bonding with my new baby. My son was 8 weeks old before we made the Melbourne to Adelaide drive so they could meet and I don’t think my brother let him go the entire time. Its magic to see your child become a part of your family.

    Reply

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