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Mum shares her perfect response after her child asked her what he should do when someone doesn’t like him.

Tara Wood is a writer and mum of 7 children ranging in age from 17 to two years old.

Tara shared a discussion with her child on Facebook.

One of my kids: “What do I do if there’s someone being rude to me at school?”
Me: “Are they bullying you?”
Kid: “No. They just obviously don’t like me.”
Me: “How is that any of your business?”
Kid: “What do you mean?”
Me: “Like, who they like or decide to be friends with has nothing to do with you- you don’t control that. How much importance you place on your self-worth being determined by everyone liking you- which is NEVER going to happen, by the way- has everything to do with you. You DO control that.”
Kid: “So, like, just don’t care?”
Me: “Well, you can care or not care…which feels better to you?”
Kid: “Not caring.”
Me: “So that’s what you do, sweetheart. You don’t care.”
Kid: “Huh. I never even thought about that.”
Me: “It’s simple and it all belongs to you.”

Her post attracted over 2000 shares and hundreds of comments including this one from a teacher.

She shared her experience saying, “Omg! My biggest issue with students! I have also received phone calls from parents, “well they weren’t invited to ——- birthday party.

She continued, “You need to talk to them.” No I don’t. Not all kids in a class need to be friends. We can be polite but we don’t have to be friends. This is also a lesson for adults.” her comment alone has received over 280 reactions.

I have always told my children that we don’t have to like everyone, but you do need to respect them.  There is no need to be rude or mean just because you don’t like them.

Share your comments below.

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  • What a brilliant response from this mum. And so so true, you can’t make people like you, and no doubt your kids won’t like everyone, so just learn to not care. Simple

    Reply

  • Being able to choose your friends but not your relatives is so true. I contact my relatives regularly just to say hello and make sure everybody is OK. They only time they ever contact me is when they want something…..and they never want to compromise at all. One day they are going to get a huge shock when I have to say no for some reason. (I have flatly refused once – when I wasn’t well – what’s more they knew I had been to the Dr. and I don’t go unless I really need to).

    Reply

  • I love this. It is perfect

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  • Lovely.

    Reply

  • Great explanation!

    Reply

  • A fantastic post and teaching moment. We go through life coming into contact with people we like and don’t like and that’s okay. We often say you can choose your friends but not your family! So we need to live in a world where we manage relationships. I tell my son once he enters the workplace he will come across people he just won’t like or fit with, but you need to manage things for the purpose of work. I love this Mum’s advice.

    Reply

  • Important to have these conversations about friendships and the reality of friendships.

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  • I had pretty much the same conversation with my eldest daughter when she told me someone doesn’t like her. They didn’t tease her or were mean to her in any way. I also asked her if there is someone she didn’t like for no particular reason. It’s part of life. Who cares if someone doesn’t like you. As long as you like yourself that is the main thing.

    Reply

  • Kudos

    In this day and age with so many people being offended by a word, an expression and the school system no longer having the authority to advise of lice to one student in particular (all the rage during my school years, never offensive and always discreet) it is so refreshing to hear another parent speaking to their child as i would.

    Not everyone is going to like you, who cares? As long as you stick to who you are, people who deserve you will be in your life.

    My eldest (now 21) was constantly bullied by a student younger than her. I gave her all the right advice just like this mother. My daughter tried but it didn’t work. In the end I went to the bully direct (random meeting, i didn’t seek her out) and explained to her the exact same thing.

    You may not like my daughter (i do she replied) but there is no need to act the way you are. If you don’t like her that’s fine, leave her alone. How would you feel if it was you????

    Said child stopped all bullying and tried to befriend my daughter but my daughter wasn’t interested due to her prior behaviour.

    I did what i had to do and found the solution by being honest with each child.
    We need to advocate honesty, not feelings that lead to animosity

    Reply

  • That mum has such good advise.

    Reply

  • Very true indeed !

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  • Very true. No one is ever going to be liked by everybody and being a good kind person is more Important

    Reply

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