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The mum says her partner and mother-in-law just can’t see what the problem is…

A concerned mum has taken to parenting forum Mumsnet to ask if she is right to be worried about her eight year old son still using a dummy. While he only uses the dummy at bedtime, his mum says that she feels it could affect his physical and emotional development.

Getting Ridiculous

In her post, the mum said that she has tried multiple times to talk to her partner and mother-in-law about the issue, but feels she has no support. “I think he’s far too old for it, it has had an effect on his teeth causing them to grow in squint. (My partner) however doesn’t find this a big deal and says ‘just let him have it’ ‘it’s not that big a deal’ ‘he’ll lose it in his own time’. Well so far he hasn’t lost it and it’s beginning to get ridiculous.” Despite multiple attempts to limit its use, the mum says that she usually ends up caving, especially when her partner and mother-in-law are so willing to give her son the dummy whenever he asks for it.

Just Embarrassing

A shocked commenter on the post said they couldn’t believe that the mum was only becoming concerned now that her son is eight. “It was beginning to get ridiculous 4+ years ago in my opinion,” they wrote. “Throw them away. End of. How utterly embarrassing that your child has been allowed a dummy until 8 YEARS OLD!” Others were more helpful, offering suggestions that worked for their own children. “What we did was collect them all up and put them under a pillow one night and the ‘dummy fairy’ took them and left a present,” said one helpful parent.

We really feel for this mum, especially as it’s pretty obvious that she’s on her own in trying to help her son get rid of his dummy. While we think every child is different, we completely agree that there comes a point where using a dummy is definitely doing them more harm than good!

Did your child use a dummy and what age did they stop? Share your story in the comments below!

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  • Everyone here is saying to take the Dummy away but I feel that if its going to cause the child distress then just leave it be. I agree with the Dad that he will toss it aside in his own time. The only thing I would say is dont buy replacements. As his dummy ages so be it. That will make it less appealing

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  • No 8 is too old and will affect his dentition. If it is an emotional issue they should see a psychologist for support.

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  • Wow 8 is far too old. I had issued trying to get the dummy away from my daughter just before she turned 3. We tried may times and failed and that was concerning enough. Luckily she felt unwell one day & threw up while having the dummy and we blamed it on that so she never wanted it again after that!

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  • Great walking shoes – more people should have them.

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  • Oh gosh!

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  • I usedwith no daughter and we mailed it to Santa. My son hated it and was always spitting it outso I stopped when he was a week old

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  • The most obvious issue is what this is doing to his teeth and speech. My son lost his around 2-3 when we simply threw it in the bin. We ditched it before he started 3 year old kinder, with that a good reason why. The Ma-in-law needs to butt out. Nothing to do with her. And Mum and Dad need to agree on this. What if his friends become aware or he’s at a sleepover and needs it. Not okay.

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  • 8 is too old. If it’s already affecting his teeth, how about a trip to the dentist so a discussion with Dad can happen about continued. use, as well as current issues from the dummy. I get it,, parents don’t. always agree but the. kids development is the most important thing.

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  • Eight is definately to old and probably doing damage to his teeth

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  • My son is 2 yrs 2 months and has it for sleep only. I would love to get rid of it but will wait till he can talk more and understands better.

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  • We stopped using them during the day at age 2 and at night at age 3. The first week SUCKS but just gotta take it one step at a time.

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  • The truth is always hard to hear. He is too old for a dummy and the dummy should be thrown in a bin where he can’t get to it and there should never be another dummy bought.

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  • This matter should be for the parents to decide. What right has the MIL to stick her nose in. Try putting something bitter tasting on the dummy before he uses it. If you do that for a few days hopefully he will decide he doesn’t like the taste of it any more. I wish you all the best. I’m glad to say my boys never liked a dummy.


    • Yes we did something bitter tasting on the fingers of my daughter, I think I bought something at the chemist but can’t remember exactly what it was called.

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  • Why has the mother in law been given so much power in this situation? Does she live with them? 8 is definitely way too old to be wanting a dummy! Just make it disappear……..in the bin when he’s at school for example

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  • I COULD NOT HANDLE A DUMMY AT THAT AGE. MY CHILDREN WERE ABOUT AND WE REASONED WITH THEM EVEN AT THAT AGE TO GIVE THE DUMMY UP OR THE EASTER BUNNY OR FATHER CHRISTMAS WOULD NOT COME IF THEY DID NOT GIVE THE DUMMY TO THEM. IT IS NOT DIFFICULT. JUST STICK TO THE RESONING YOU HAVE GIVEN THEM

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  • I never used a dummy but my eldest sucked two fingers till she was in KIndy and we had problems stopping that. It resulted in an overbite and early braces. A dummy or thumb-/finger sucking has the same effect. I’ve never been pro-dummy but you can take a dummy away, you can’t take the fingers/thumb away

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  • In all honesty my child had a dummy for much longer than she should have. I was always in two minds about the darn thing. On one hand it did her no good in the teeth department as sucking a thumb or dummy pushes your teeth into awkward positions and on the other hand that dummy was her security blanket and helped keep her calm and sleep at night. I tried many times to get rid of it but always caved in. I thought to myself she will let it go when she is ready too. Well she did let it go and all on her own. I took her for her check up at the dentist one day and she was asked if she sucked her thumb she said no a dummy and the dentist explained and showed her what a dummy does to her teeth. We went home and she grabbed all ger dummies and threw them in the bin saying I don’t need these anymore mummy. That was the end of the dummy fiasco. She was 4yrs old at the time. I feel I will always be in two minds about this subject.

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  • My son used a sunny until about 2 and when he had chewed through the last one we put it in the bin and he didn’t get another one. He asked for it a bit but we hat had to be tough. My 7 month had one now. I feel sorry for her not having the support of her partner and really the mother in law should be helping her not!

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  • People can be so harsh about other parenting. It’s hard as it is for them

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  • I wanted to avoid this so never used a dummy. My husband’s sister had one for her kids. Her youngest, who is approximately the same age, maybe a bit older, kept losing his dummy in the night and she didn’t want to keep getting up so he began sucking his thumb. Now he STILL sucks his thumb. i say you really need to stick to your guns if you want him to give it up! The first step is to remove all of the dummy’s from your house. You can’t give what you haven’t got! Good luck and all the best to you!

    Reply

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