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A teenager has revealed how her father’s mistress ‘confided’ in her, putting her in a heartbreaking position which continues to impact the family years later.

The now 15-year-old was just 12-years-old when she was told about the affair, she says in a bid to manipulate her and her siblings.

“My dad had an affair with my mum’s supposed best friend Cheryl,” the teenager explained. “Three years ago Cheryl pulled me aside and told me about the affair and that she wanted my help to make my siblings still love her when they found out.

“She was someone we were all close with. I’m the baby of the family and the ‘favourite’ of everyone, which I don’t see as true, but it’s a bit of a joke and I am the baby so I do get people looking out for me more. This is something Cheryl tried to use to her advantage.

“She put me in the worst position by telling me about the affair because she hoped my siblings would love me too much to hate her if I told them not to. I was so angry at her and at dad. I didn’t want to be the one to tell mum. I didn’t want to see her break down. But I knew I needed to.”

So, she told her mum.

“Mum was furious, more at Cheryl for involving me than the affair at first. My dad defended Cheryl and said she had known me my whole life and should be allowed to confide in me. It turned into a really big fight. My siblings hated them more for trying to involve me too.”

Her mum and dad went through divorce proceedings, with all of the kids wanting to stay with their mum.

“The judge ruled I had to go to my dad’s until I was 14. So for two years I had to go to dad’s house every other week. I made it my mission to make life harder for them that whole time. I refused to go along with the happy family shit they tried to pull. Which only got WAY worse when Cheryl was pregnant and they wanted to do a pregnancy reveal with me in it and I said no. After the baby was born they thought I would soften and would want to know their baby, I didn’t. The last time I was at their house Cheryl was pregnant again.”

Once she turned 14, she says she stopped going to her dad and Cheryl’s place, and refused to answer their texts, even though she’s not allowed to block him until she’s 18-years-old.

“My siblings have them both blocked and they refuse to engage with them. Cheryl and my dad’s families are living closer to them now and both ask about us and why we’re not around. Dad’s family have tried to reach out and get me to reconcile but I told them it would not happen and I hate my dad.

“Cheryl confronted me while I was at the mall the other day. She followed me into different stores and said I have two younger siblings I should know and that I loved her before so I should stop punishing her and dad and start being more respectful.

“I had enough when I realised she wasn’t going to walk away and I told her she’s disgusting and repulsive for trying to use me to her advantage, a 12-year-old kid, when she was having an affair with dad.”

“I told her I would never show her any respect and she and dad could explain to their kids why they’ll never be part of mine or my siblings lives. But I’m not going to let them guilt me into anything.

“She has used dad’s phone a bunch since then and I got over 100 texts already. Mum told them to stop and bullying a child after all they did makes them look even worse. The response back was I’m a disrespectful child who should be taught better.”

The teenager now wants advice on whether she’s in the wrong for continuing not to have any contact with her dad.

Let us know what you think in the comments below. 

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  • It’s mistress who did the wrong thing and ruined any chance of any relationship with the family. I can’t believe that she’s still trying to guilt this young girl into having a relationship with the other children. I wouldn’t trust the mistress ever. By carrying on in this matter she has jeopardised any relationship there may have been.

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  • This young girl has the right to choose whether she wants her father and his mistress in her life now or in the future. I don’t think she should be made to feel that she is disrespectful. I wish her and her siblings well.

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  • What a horrible situation for a child to be put in. I think the teenager has the right to not want contact with her dad. She has the emotional maturity to realise that is a toxic environment for her to be in. I hope she is and continues to be, in a much healthier place.

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  • I would seek legal advice to see if the ruling of the judge can be revoked.
    Young people (under 18 or people with a childrens court matter) can call 1800 LAQ LAQ (1800 527 527) to talk to a lawyer and get free and confidential legal advice about: their legal rights.

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  • You did the best you could do and I hope the rest of your life is happier.

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  • I can’t imagine what you are going through and I don’t think you are wrong in trying to avoid contact with them. Perhaps change your phone number and don’t let them know might be an easier way to stop the harassment. After all you cannot block what isn’t coming to you!

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  • No boundaries established at all. Cheryl is not a leading example if a food parent, let alone best friend. Her behaviour has been totally disgusting and most disrespectful. I would stay clear of her.

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  • Cheryl approaching her in the first place was 100% wrong. She should have been the adult and come clean about her behaviour. She is the one who screwed up, she should come clean and apologise.
    As to the teen not wanting anything to do with their new family, I can understand not wanting a relationship with Cheryl and her dad. However, it is unfair that she is rejecting her half siblings. They didn’t ask to be born, but it would be very hard.

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  • Adults need to behave with maturity and not involve children in such matters. Respect has to be earned and the adults did not earn it.

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  • I think that you are being a great child, but your “step-mother” is disgusting to follow you; and make comments as she is. You are entitled to live your own life and follow your wishes and dreams. I would go so far as to tell her you will take an AVO out on her, so she will leave you alone.

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  • As if being a teenager isn’t hard enough without all this crap from adults that should be helping her navigate life’s challenges, not causing them.


    • I agree; parents should be there to support and guide and not be a burden.

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  • I don’t know why the judge made her go to her dad’s after what happened with them all. Surely that would be the most uncomfortable and worst situation to put a 12 year old in!
    Also, I would be putting on a complaint to the police for harassment. Over a hundred texts and being followed into various shops is just creepy.

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  • To quote something I have seen a lot lately – you are not the ***hole. Up until now, you have been obliged by one rule or another to visit your father. Similarly, you can’t block him until you’re 18. But that doesn’t mean you have to support him, or Cheryl, or agree with what they have done, or step out of your own comfort zone in order to make them feel more comfortable with what they have done. You need to do what feels right for you, within the law, of course, and not worry about their feelings. After all, they did what felt ‘right’ for them and didn’t care about anyone else’s feelings.

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  • You poor thing. This is just a terrible situation. The adults in the room should never have tried to manipulate a child that way. Such terrible behaviour and appalling parenting.

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  • Yeah, I think legally she could get permission to block them as it’s clearly harassment.

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  • I’d be going to the police and having them done for harassment. This is vile.

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  • What a horrible position to put a child in. That’s pure manipulation. Good on her for sticking to her gut.

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  • So wrong on many levels indeed. I would suggest for the teenager to seek psychological help to give her anger a place.
    To be honest dad and Cheryl could do with some psychological help too to get insight in their drives and motives, the impact of their behaviour and how to possibly repair things if that is possible.

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  • Omg that poor teenager, what a terrible position Cheryl put that girl in. That is not ok.

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  • What a mess.
    It was very wrong of Cheryl to tell you. This is something that your Dad should have been Man enough to talk to your Mother about and the two of them should have spoken to you children together.
    Its sad that you have wiped your Dad from your life. There were wrongs but you need to understand that parents are not perfect and they do make mistakes. Perhaps you could ask your Dad to go to family therapy with you and you just might get to a point where he will apologise for his wrong doings and perhaps you could slowly start to rebuild a relationship.

    Reply

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