I personally wouldn’t have text. There have been parties my children haven’t been invited to, and I never know what circumstances are at play – there could be a limit on how many etc. It’s a life lesson for my children and builds resilience

As hard as it is for kids not to be invited to a birthday party, they have to understand that they simply aren’t going to be invited to every single one going. I feel like the mum should have just left it and explained this to her daughter. She could have taken her daughter out for a spa day just the 2 of them instead

Such a hard one. I probably wouldn’t have confronted the birthday girls mum but would have simply explained to my daughter that the situation had to be limited to 10 people and that was the ONLY reason she wasn’t invited. Unfortunately kids need to learn that sometimes for whatever reason they will be left out of something and that at some time or another will probably exclude someone else.

This is so tricky. She wasn’t actually responsible for the other Mums’ actions. They al sound rather immature.

It’s a tough one but when there is only 11 girls and all but one is invited it is not like the girls were never going to talk about the party afterwards. I think there is a no win situation here.

I can see how upset you may have been, but I wouldn’t have messaged the mum, I would have no worried about it, did you ask your daughter if she minded not getting invited? As children grow they need to realise that they won’t be invited or be able to participate in everything.

personally i would not of im glad when my daughter doesnt get in invited to paarties i dont have to thing of a present or out lay money
but on the other hand for only 11 girls in her year thats bad form of the other mum not to invite 1 girl she could of just paid for extra perwson so one was left out
i have a rule in my house if you get invited to someones house it gets kept quiet and no talking about it around other girls

I would be more worried about how things will be in the future as you cannot repair what has been done. The happy group may now be a fractured group, and it may well hinge on you to fix the fracture. I do hope you will be able to do that hopefully by inviting all the girls to your house when your daughter has a party. Whether all will come will be the telling part.

This is a difficult situation and I know how bad I’d feel for one of my kids if they found themselves in this situation.
Personally I don’t think I would have messaged the Mum, I would have just let it go thinking that if they wanted my daughter then they would have invited her.
I think the host parents should have done it a bit differently though, knowing that they were leaving just one child out and it doesn’t sound like the girls were enemies. To say they didn’t think the girl would find out, I think that’s a cheap way out. People talk, clearly kids talk which is how it all came out. You need to think about that!
I’d be the bigger person and if your daughter has a party, invite all the girls.

This is a difficult situation to land in. I would have asked the Mum straight out if it was an omission that her daughter wasn’t invited but not mentioned it to anyone else. I hope that this doesn’t ruin her daughter’s friendship with the girls in her class.

Oh such a trickey situation, parties are not fun for the parents. All girls should have been invited regardless of the limit of 10 for the spa. It was one extra girls so I would have invited her regardless and get the company to just treat the extra girl.

Sometimes you don’t get invited, and it’s awkward to ask about it as it puts everyone at unease. As harsh as it sounds they didn’t invite you and does not really need an explanation why. How would you feel if after asking you were invited knowing it is only a “sympathy” invite?

This is a tricky situation. Those pamper parties can have specific maximum numbers so I can see why the mum thought it was best to invite the “bookclub” it wasn’t personal, However when there’s only one other girl in the class I can see how that would be upsetting too.
I personally wouldn’t have texted the mum if my daughter didn’t get an invite but I can also see how you thought it was on oversight..

Ooh, this is a tricky one. I do think you did the right thing in just checking with another parent first. She was the one who advised you to reach out to the party parent. And you can’t control those who don’t attend. Perhaps they had other things on. It’s an assumption that they weren’t attending because of you. I’m not sure where you go from here. It has obviously blown up a little bit, and clearly that wasn’t the intention. Ahhh, kids parties. I’m so glad I’m past them.

You assumed it was an accidental oversight….so you checked. I can understand that, although maybe, and i do stress maybe, it was an unwise assumption given that your daughter isnt in the book club anymore, but hey, accidental oversight can happen. It honestly sounds like the mum you shared the screen shot with has made things worse by getting involved.
With hindsight it might have been better to have let it go without putting the host mum on the spot, or sharing the screen response, however it was a bit tactless or naive of the host mum to think your daughter wouldnt hear or know about the party. You dont know why some of the other invitees didnt attend, but to clear the air maybe it’s worth explaining what actually happened and that you had only spoken with one mum.
I think the whole party thing sounds like a minefield….. being too tight with money to afford anything like this currently is a blessing in some ways.

It’s hard not being invited and okay to txt and check if you thought it was a mistake but sharing the screenshot was wrong. You could have just told the other mother that it was a numbers thing so it’s okay, or even it’s only a book club thing. I understand you were once a part of the book club but as you are not attending now you are no longer part of the book club.
You didn’t ruin a child’s party at the end of the day it was the parents choice not to take their child and who knows the kids might have been sick or had other commitments. You could txt the mother stating you only spoke to one parent as they were asking about attendance and any other children not attending was not your fault so maybe she should speak to the parents if she thinks there is an issue.

I don’t think you did a bad thing at all, it’s so heartbreaking to think of just one child being left out and how awful that must feel for her. You were the voice for your little girl and Addy’s mum needs to pull her head out , she knew exactly what she was doing.

It’s a difficult but I would have never reached out. That’s very forward.

Difficult all around I think

It’s hurtful – ive been there. But at the same time, sharing a convo screenshot just escalated it from there. What were you expecting? Im not someone that would confront a parent for a lack of invite. Just leave it be.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 13 Jul 2023 , 7:47 am

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  It sure is hurtful. I remember till this day that I once threw a combined party for bo9th my daughter and son and invited all class mates. One of the girls in my daughters class was never invited to a birthday party and the mum came in tears to me, full of gratitude. All we can do is have our eyes open and make sure we don’t exclude ourselves