A father-of-three says his mother-in-law’s ‘disgusting’ habit of washing his baby’s bottom in the bathroom sink has caused a fight that’s ended in a huge family rift.

The result has been the cancellation of a child’s birthday party and members of the family no longer speaking. And now the dad is wondering whether he’s the one in the wrong.

“My mother-in-law watches my three kids,” he explained on reddit.

“They are age five, three and seven months. My mother-in-law usually watches them and drops them off from school.”

The dad explained that all three kids have been sick with a stomach virus, and they were all home on Monday this week.

“The little one had a poop explosion so my mother-in-law washed her butt in our bathroom sink. However, she did not clean up after and there was poop all around the sink, on the toothpaste, on the toothbrushes and the little cups that the kids use when brushing their teeth.”

The disgusted dad says that, unbelievably, this isn’t the first time it’s happened, but the first time he and his wife decided not to say anything. But this time, his wife decided to talk to her mum about the nasty habit.

“My wife called her mum to be more careful because it’s absolutely disgusting and gross … her mum seemed to understand the frustration. However, once her sisters (both in their 30s and single for good reason) caught wind that my wife ‘belittled’ their mother all hell broke loose. The sisters began defending the mother, calling out how dirty/messy our house is, calling my wife fat and basically just saying how lucky we are to have the MIL in our life and it’s no big deal. In fact, we’re the a-holes for being upset about this.”

And that’s when everything came to a head.

“I guess the sisters got to my mother-in-law because then MIL came back and started parroting the same talking points about how messy our house is, how ungrateful my wife is and how my MIL cleans our house and cooks for the kids all of the time. My five-year-old son was also at her house this weekend and had an accident where he squirted on the bed because he’s sick. That was also thrown in our face multiple times. They also referred to watching our kids as FAVOURS which is weird because they always ask to take them.

“My mother-in-law says she won’t come ever again to watch the kids.”

“She no showed today so I had to call out today to watch the baby which is fine. However, I don’t like how the MIL is affecting my job and career with her pettiness as I had some important stuff scheduled today. Keep in mind, we pay her $300 (cash) a week to watch the kids. Now I’m going to pay about $150 more per month for someone to watch the kids which is no big deal really.

“However, my son’s birthday is tomorrow. They had a big ol’ party planned at my mother-in-laws for Saturday. However, I have told everyone that we will not be attending the party and we have barred her family from seeing, giving gifts or even speaking to the kids for the time being.

“Am I the a**hole for cancelling my son’s party and not allowing my wife’s family to celebrate his birthday on Saturday?”

Let us know what you think of this sticky situation in the comments below.

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  • Thats so gross. I would be saying something too


  • disgusting no wonder everyone got sick what poor behaviour


  • How frustrating when people start carrying on and have a tantrum when they’re called out for their own behaviour. I’d thank the Mil for looking after the kids, and start using childcare services. Sometimes help can be a hindering. Just because they’re family doesn’t give them a free pass to carry on. If you were paying a non family member for a service, and they left bodily fluids in the bathroom basin you wouldn’t be inviting them back. Most people learn from their mistakes and make changes to prevent the same thing from happening in future.


  • Gross!


  • Hmm…I have cleaned up a poonami in the laundry trough! After doing my best to wipe his bum first! Then I cleaned the trough… was the only viable option at the time!


  • omg gross…. can’t even comment anything, it is wrong from the beginning.


  • Whether it’s cleaned up or not, using a bathroom sink to clean a dirty bottom is disgusting.! Small traces of faeces on toothbrushes or anywhere else can make you very sick.


  • It is disgusting. But she is doing unpaid labour for you everyday.
    And birthdays are about the kids, not the family rifts.

    • They said they pay her $300 a week – whilst not minimum wage, still a good chunk of income to look after her grandkids when many do the same for free.


  • Yes, it’s gross. If she was sidetracked and forgot to clean it up after then I’m sure she wouldn’t have made it into such a big deal and would have apologised. It’s escalated quite bit – which can happen when other family get involved with their opinions. I think if you can afford external help, it may be the way to go.
    As for cancelling the birthday party – I’m in two minds on that one


  • What the MIL did was gross but it seems like the situation has escalated


  • I don’t agree with using the bathroom sink and something needed to be said. For the son to be missing out on the birthday party, I am not sure that is fair.


  • What she did was indeed disgusting. I would have been really really mad but this has been blown out of proportion because of the family’s reaction. Not fair when kids are caught in between


  • Majority of families have disagreements at times. I am a cleaning freak so I agree with you that what your MIL did was disgusting. I am thinking of all the gems floating around in the bathroom.
    Issues can be resolved, but dont let the kids suffer.


  • Think this has blown up way too far. The son deserves his birthday party, so do keep that going somehow and never have your in-laws or parents as child minders io the first place.


  • Yeah that’s gross. I would have said something too. Plus they were paying her to look after the kids, it’s not like she was doing it for nothing…


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