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Article ‘My Sister Secretly Found Out My Top Baby Name, And Used It’

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A woman who has been struggling to get pregnant has been left devastated by her sister, who secretly ‘stole’ her baby name.

The 32-year-old says she’s been struggling with infertility for seven years. While she and her husband are prepared for the fact they many never have children, it’s still a heartbreaking situation.

“We’re both currently in individual therapy to help us process all of this and find a way to be a peace regardless of what the future holds for us, but I truly hope we are lucky enough to have a child,” she explained.

“My husband and I have baby names picked out. We never talk about them. But we have a little note on our baby name book with our boy and girl name pick. It’s in our bedroom. We don’t look at it much anymore but it keeps us hoping, you know.”

The woman’s 36-year-old sister, who has five daughters, recently gave birth to her first son.

“My husband was working but I was at the hospital with my parents and my sister’s in-laws waiting for the birth. Once he was born we were called in to meet my nephew and my sister told us they’d chosen the name Elio for him.

“She said she knew the name was originally mine and my husband’s top choice but since we wouldn’t be having any kids after all this time, she decided they should use it and not let the name go to waste being kept secret by me.

“It was then I remember seeing my sister at my room while she was pregnant a few months before. I thought nothing of it at the time but realised she’d been snooping. My parents asked how she could do that without talking to me first. My sister replied that it seemed a shame to waste a perfectly good name if I asked her not to use it.

“I couldn’t handle it and I left. I didn’t even say congrats or anything. I left and went home and I cried for a while.”

The next day she says her sister called and asked why she’d made such a big deal of the situation.

“She said she was hurt I never discussed my baby names with her, gatekeeping them, even when I knew I wouldn’t have a baby. I asked her how she could could go out of her way to take the one name my husband and I had picked. She called me sensitive. I ended the call without another word.

“My parents checked in on me two days after. But since then my parents have said I should let it go and apologize for walking out. My sister also said it was her postpartum time and it was very selfish on my part.”

What do you think of this situation? Leave your advice in the comments below. 

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Comments

  • I have to break some bad news to you. Your sister is a female dog. How cruel and vicious. To use a name that she knew you were keeping for yourself. She is making you suffer each time you say her sons name. I can only think that something as bad as this is payback or sadistic revenge for something you have done to her in the past. Or she is a selfish, callous person. I would have walked out too but then I’m lucky to have nice sisters.

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  • That was definitely a low and insensitive thing for her to do. It’s not as if you told anyone the name you’d picked out for a son. What if you had decided to adopt (which is what my late husband and I ended up doing) you could have used that name for a boy then. I think it’s your sister who should be apologizing to you. After all she only found out the name by snooping in your bedroom.

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  • This happened to my sister, not by family but by a family friend. My sister was livid, only weeks away from giving birth and looking for another name. Such a low act

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  • Oh that was so cruel of her sister on so many levels. Firstly, snooping, oh and for all, the fact it was in their bedroom, oh my gosh! Secondly, the sister uses the boys name and blurts, that it would have been a waste of such a lovely name, not to use it. Thirdly, reminding her sister that she will never had a baby, how harsh. Lastly, expecting the poor sister to apologise and basically, get over it. No, the poor childless sister is not over reacting, nor being selfish, stick to her guns. Bugga the rest, they are being so insensitive.

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  • Such a heartless thing for your sister to do. I honestly don’t know if I could forgive her. She is very selfish and uncaring.

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  • Very sad situation. The sister really should have spoken to her about it during the pregnancy, not just named the child and surprise them. You hear of similar stories everywhere.

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  • I cannot believe her parents are letting the sister get away with this.

    • Yes, this woman is not only let down by her sister but also by her parents…very sad

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  • Really devastating. To have infertility and struggles with having a child not understood/supported is the worst experience ever as those around you have babies…and then to have your name of hope intentionally stolen is horrendous. I really feel for her.

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  • What a nasty and selfish thing for her sister to do. And to keep defending her decision by reminding her sister she won’t be using it as she can’t have children, wow, that just cuts so deep. Especially when said nasty sister has so many kids. I don’t know how you move on from this really.

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  • She needs to just get on with her life. Her sister to me represents a selfish and hurtful person.

    • yes, I believe I would take some distances when I would be in her shoes.

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  • I believe, when you do have a son, you can still use the name you chose. Best wishes.

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  • I get the feeling that you aren’t that close to your sister after all. I think she has done an awful thing to you, and I would be keeping my distance from her and only being polite for your parents’ sake. Any trust has been completely demolished and I feel terrible for your poor husband having had this happen. I really don’t see how you can keep up a friendship – has no-one thought how you will feel every time you see that poor innocent little boy in the future and have to call him by the name you had chosen for your yet unborn son?

    • Yes, I wonder how the relationship with her sister was before this ordeal too. It doesn’t show love, respect or consideration whatsoever

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  • Definitely difficult. She should have definitely run it by you

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  • It seems a bit calculating and mean on the sister’s part. But, at the end of the day, it’s not worth not having a relationship with her nephew or her sister over.

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  • Wow, that’s really not the way a sister should be. What a way to ruin the trust between you. Sadly there’s nothing you can do but definitely speak your feelings out to her.

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  • 100% your sister is in the wrong. Sadly there is nothing you can do about it now but clearly tell her that you have learned that she is not someone you will ever trust again because of her untrustworthy actions.

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  • The sister was cruel, unfair and wildly inappropriate.

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  • If I were the OP I would distance myself from this sister. She is not very sensitive or empathetic if she cannot see why this is a mean and unnecessary thing to do. If and when the OP has a child, I would still name that child Elio if she and her husband feel the name suits their baby. I wish the OP all the very best going forward.

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  • Honestly, I think your sister is being cruel and insensitive to say the least. Of all the names she could have chosen…

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  • I feel very sad this happened to you and totally understand you walked out and cried.
    The fact she snooped around in your room, the fact she didn’t discuss her intention to use the name you gys picked, the fact she blames you to never have discussed the baby names you chose and gatekeeping them, and involving your parents who then tell you to apologize is all very hurtful and inconsiderate.

    • And I truly hope you guys will be blessed with a child one day !

      • Snooping is a deplorable act and a complete invasion of privacy.

    Reply
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