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A heartbroken father says he’s still in disbelief, after his wife of nine years revealed she no longer wants their three and five-year-old daughters, because she regrets having kids.

The 35-year-old dad says he and his 33-year-old wife have been together since university, and she did initially tell him she didn’t like kids.

“While I was a little disappointed, I didn’t care too much about it,” he explained. “I didn’t feel very strongly about it either way. We were very in love and things were perfect for a good while.

“Her birth control failed six years ago, and I told her that I would support whatever choice she made. She scheduled an abortion, but backed out the day before and we became loving and enthusiastic parents. Later on down the road, she decided she wanted another child and so we had our second daughter. They are five and three years old, and absolutely perfect. They are both very well behaved and ahead of the curve for kids their ages.”

While his wife is a stay-at-home-mum, the dad says he has a very demanding job that includes monthly trips away from home, and long days at the office. He says he makes good money and they have never financially struggled. This arrangement has worked for the past few years, but the dad says he recently noticed a shift in his wife’s behaviour.

“For the past few months, I’ve known something was up with my wife. She is obviously the primary caretaker of our daughters, but recently she’s been completely hands off when I’m at home. I don’t mind spending the extra time with my daughters taking care of them, but it’s more than that.

“She will completely ignore them while I’m around. If they ask her for anything at all she tells them “go ask Daddy” and will go in our bedroom and lock the door to get away from them. I’ve been asking her if she’s alright, and she had been insisting everything was fine until last night.”

“After we put the kids to bed, she came to me and sat me down at the table. She started talking about fun things we had done right after we got married, what a great adventure everything had been, just generally reminiscing. She was being sweet and funny and loving and my guard was down. She said “back before we had the girls, we could do anything we wanted. I wish we could go back to that.” I asked her what she meant.

“After much prodding she admitted that she regretted having kids. I said that there were times where I felt overwhelmed too, but that I would always love our daughters. She got quiet. She mumbled something and I asked her to say it again. She yelled “I DON’T LOVE THEM” and then started sobbing.

“I sat there with my mouth hanging open. She composed herself and then started talking again. She was saying how she had been looking into adoption agencies and foster care. She had contacted one agency already. She was making plans to give away my CHILDREN. I continued to listen, too dumbfounded to say a word, as she babbled on about how amazing it’s going to be to have our lives back, how great our relationship will be when we don’t have kids anymore.”

The dad-of-two says he waited until his wife went to bed, then packed up his daughters and went to his mums.

“I have a ton of missed calls, voicemails, and texts from my wife. I haven’t looked at any of them. I’ve spent the day talking to my mum about things and keeping the girls occupied. My mom doesn’t know what to do either.

“I’m thinking I have a couple of options: start calling lawyers or start calling mental health professionals. Maybe both. I don’t know if she’s having some kind of psychotic delusion or if she’s just that awful of a person. I really don’t want to go back home to her now. Ever. I’m thinking divorce is the best choice, but I can’t take care of my kids on my own. What should my next move be? Should I try to call my wife?”

What do you think this dad should do? Let us know in the comments below. 

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  • I’d seek medical help for your wife urgently. This doesn’t sound normal. But I would also seek legal advice just to be sure your kids are protected.

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  • I think he needs to talk to his wife first and let her know that if the children go, so does he. She could be depressed from being at home all the time with no way of socialising without the children. It sounds like she thinks if the girls aren’t there you’ll go back to how it was when you first got married. I hope they can work it out and the girls stay with them both.

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  • What a sad situation for everyone involved.

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  • I also thought that given her feelings it might be good for this couple to consider to swop roles: for the husband to become stay at home dad and for the the wife to get a job, whilst they also focus on spending time together with the 2 of them

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  • I’m at a loss for words. I feel for the dad and daughters.

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  • Wow, just wow, I have no words. I think dads on the right track, seek legal and mental health help.

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  • Ouch! I hope her kids never actually hear that from their mother. What a way to ruin a childs life if they found out they weren’t wanted. Children are not easy, and I hope the mother gets the help she needs asap.

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  • It sounds like she is going through postnatal depression, she needs mental health help asap. Dealing with kids isn’t easy but it’s not something you would give them up for.. she clearly is struggling really bad


    • Dad – you need to be sympathetic and get your wife some mental health help ASAP. It could be post natal depression. Is it possible you could paint her a picture of what life could be like on lovely family holidays or adventures or dates when the kids are at school. It sounds like she wants the marriage, but is struggling to picture the future with the kids. Please don’t give up on her (yet). She’s going through some mental health thing…
      (Recently a friend of mine committed suicide – it is thought because he was struggling to look after his autistic son, and didn’t have a conversation with his wife about it. You don’t want that for your wife.)

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  • Wow, he’s definitely made the right decision there. Kids are not pets. You can’t just decide you don’t want them anymore. She definitely needs to get assessed. As for the dad, I’m sure his family would be willing to help and he’d also be able to get family day care.

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  • That’s a very hard situation, and I can understand the confusion of this husband.. The wife definitely needs help. I would first seek mental health treatment. She could be having a postnatal depression. When possible the husband and wife should go into marrariage counseling too. In the meantime see if your parents maybe temporary can have the kids


    • I agree; there are many services that should be able to help and support this family.

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  • Don’t be an idiot. She is clearly very depressed – quite possibly has had post natal depression since the last child. Reacting drastically and abandoning her will just drive her to suicide. Besides, you made a commitment and you cannot quit now.

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  • She needs help, mentally and physically. You need to give her more time, do more things as a family and time alone. Try helping her before going straight for divorce.

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  • Securing professional services and support in this case is essential.

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  • Hopefully this mother is just experiencing depression and in’t really that heartless. As mums we’ve all had moments but we’ve never actually rung an adoption agency!!!

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  • It would be safer to the children that they aren’t left in her care , she sounds unstable and can be capable of anything to get her child free life back . It’s sad it took her 5 years to to feel she needs to be rid of them . The husband needs legal advice and to be granted sole parent of these girls . She is definitely having a mental breakdown and needs to be removed from them . I wouldn’t trust her and maybe divorce is better for both so she can have her happy child free life .

    Reply

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