'My Wife Won't Let Me Watch My Son's Birth, And It's Breaking Me'

A first-time-dad says he’s trying to come to terms with the fact his wife doesn’t want him to be at the birth of their son.

The 28-year-old dad-to-be has been with his wife Emily, 26, for seven years, and married for two. The couple has always talked about having children, and he says he’s always wanted to be at their birth.

“When my dad was still alive, he used to tell me and my siblings all the time about how it literally brought him to tears (NOT a man who cries by the way), and he would say he was so grateful for all of us and for the experience,” he explain on reddit.

“My beautiful and amazing wife is eight months pregnant. It’s been a pretty difficult pregnancy for her, well for us, but especially to her. She’s had a few miscarriages in the past, and I’ve just been praying to God for both of them to make it through safely.

“We were talking more and more about what’s going to happen when she goes into labor, and she’s very adamant that I not be in the room, natural or c-section, no matter what. I’ve tried convincing, pleading, begging, but she won’t change her mind.

“Her mum is going to be with her, and I understand that she needs her mum, and that she needs to do whatever to make sure that everything goes smoothly. I don’t wanna stress her out too much because I keep telling myself all that matters is that they’re both healthy, but I’m honestly really sad about not being able to be there for my son’s birth.”

The upset expecting dad says while he’s trying to be understanding, the situation is breaking him. And his wife is demanding he suck it up.

“It’s not about me. I know that. All that matters is that they’re both healthy. I’ve been trying to come to terms and understand this on my own time, so as not to bother her, but Emily’s just being so condescending to me, and I know that she’s just stressed out and scared, so she doesn’t mean it, but I feel like I deserve to process this at least for a few days.

“I still do everything as I’ve done before, but she says that now I have this ‘beaten puppy dog’ look on my face, and it’s ‘pissing her off’. Then, she started scolding me asking me why it mattered so much to me, and if I was going to act this weak in front of our son. She told me I needed to just be a f***ing man and ‘get the f**k over it’.

“I feel like crying, but I don’t want her to know, and get mad at me again, so I told her I was going out to get groceries, and am writing this in the car to try and calm myself down. I love her so much, but what she said really hit me hard. I just want them both to be healthy and safe, but I also wanted to be there.”

What do you think this dad-to-be should do? Let us know in the comments below.

38 Comments

- - tytara1999 said
  - 25 Mar 2023
    4:14 am
Pregnancy is not an illness she sounds like a piece of work be the man she wants and tell her you are coming in to see him born mum can too but it will be both of you stand up to your rights as a dad

- - ~Loui~ said
  - 24 Mar 2023
    10:19 pm
This is quite strange. Why doesn’t she want him there? I can’t imagine many partners saying this.

- - mom486400 said
  - 24 Mar 2023
    10:08 pm
Definitely a tough situation and addressing it is tougher. I personally believe he should have every right to be there. The conversation has to be touched on again and some sort of agreement has to be made.

- - mom265671 said
  - 24 Mar 2023
    9:51 pm
He has just as much right to be there as the father, you cant get that back

- - firsttimemum12 said
  - 24 Mar 2023
    9:16 pm
Breaks my heart! You need to be there!!

- - sars_angelchik said
  - 24 Mar 2023
    8:38 pm
She sounds like a real piece of work to say those things! Quite frankly he was there at the conception and should be there at the birth if he wants to be.

- - mom486197 said
  - 24 Mar 2023
    4:56 pm
Wow this situation sound every unhealthy.

- - RA1234756 said
  - 24 Mar 2023
    2:32 pm
The real question is why is she doing this? Is her mother pushing it? Or is she scared of looking bad in front of him?
If she is scared of looking bad, they can work around it.
She is veing unreasonable and horrible, but she is nine months pregnant. Hopefully she will change her mind because a loving father and husband has the right to be there.

- - Julzie13 said
  - 24 Mar 2023
    11:50 am
That’s tough. The mum doesn’t need to be there, the dad should be able to support his wife.

- - cassy26 said
  - 24 Mar 2023
    11:11 am
This is really sad and to be honest doesn’t sound like a very healthy relationship. In fact if these type of comments are the norm from his wife I’d call it abusive.
- Ellen replied
  
  25 Mar 2023 , 5:17 am
  Exactly what I was thinking, not a healthy relationship indeed
- - Ellen said
  - 24 Mar 2023
    8:48 am
I can imagine that’s very hurtful for this dad to be, even more so when her mum will be there and his presence is denied…it’s his child too

- - TraceyGail said
  - 24 Mar 2023
    7:17 am
Wow! That’s absolutely awful and her comments to him make her sound like a very nasty person.

- - Frankiielot said
  - 24 Mar 2023
    1:06 am
So weird that the wife doesn’t want him at the birth of their child…
Sounds like something’s not right. I’m pretty sure you can have two people in with you now with the restrictions lifted so not sure why she’s being such a diva.

- - Forgetful Mumma said
  - 23 Mar 2023
    11:02 pm
Why is she so adamant that you not be there? What she is doing is horrible! Her mum didn’t make the baby, you did! Can you both be there? What will your son say when he finds out the reason you missed his birth was because his mum was being a b!tch? What if something goes wrong and you miss out on the opportunity to meet your baby? Maybe you should act like the man she want you to be and tell her you WILL be there for the birth of your son and she can just get over it! I’m hoping on the day she will want and need you there, because her attitude is disgusting!.

- - Mum.of.2. said
  - 23 Mar 2023
    10:07 pm
This is heartbreaking! The dad should definitely be in the room for the birth. It’s his child too!

- - mom101628 said
  - 23 Mar 2023
    5:36 pm
So very different from the husband who went home to look after the cats.
This is really quite a recent event in father’s being at the birth, but surely your wife’s mother could be on your side and agree that you should be there with her at the birth.
Just a thought.