Hello!

35 Comment

A husband has been accused of ruining his wife’s special moment, by revealing her pregnancy during a heated argument with her father.

The dad-to-be says he simply couldn’t hold his tongue any longer, after years of derogatory comments from his father-in-law. The couple, who have been married for four years, are expecting their first baby. And while the husband’s relationship with his mother-in-law is amazing, he and his father-in-law have never seen eye to eye.

“My wife has had a kinda troubled family life regarding her father,” he explained on reddit. “He ran out on her and her mother for another woman shortly after she’s was born and they were estranged until just before our wedding. I am very close with her mother and she loves me but her father hates my guts. I’ve never had anyone in my life hate me as much as he does.

“He’s one of those old school macho guys and one of the things he question about me is my masculinity. When he first met me he told me my job (software engineering) was a ‘nancy job’ and a real man worked with his hands and I wouldn’t be able to provide for his daughter (ironic and lol).

“I’m also not really a traditionally masculine man. The most masculine thing I do is lift weights. I paint my nails, style my hair, care about fashion, and do other traditionally feminine things. He constantly mocks me for it and accuses me of being gay. My wife wants me to just put up with it, and I want her to have a relationship with her father so I just do, but I’ve been dealing with this for almost five years and it’s exhausting, and embarrassing.”

‘I’m man enough to put a baby in your daughter’

The expecting dad says he and his wife were thrilled when they found out they were having a baby, and told his wife’s mum and her stepdad, who were just as excited. But then it came time to tell his wife’s dad.

“I of course was dreading this and be there was no way for this to go well. So prior to dinner, something was up with the TV and he asked me to fix it. I tried but couldn’t figure it out. He then went on about how a real man fixes things and, ‘What am I going to do when things break around the house? Call someone like a pussy.’ and telling me I’m not man enough for his daughter.

“At this point I had enough. I snapped. I told him that I was, ‘Man enough to put a baby in your daughter, and unlike you I’m not going to leave them.’ He exploded and cursed me out calling telling me how awful I am and how my wife needs to leave me and how she made a mistake marrying me. There was a huge argument that my wife had to break up and we left shortly after.”

While the dad-to-be says he doesn’t feel he has anything to apologise for, his wife thinks differently.

“She was very upset with me. She told me I ruined the night and now she can never have this moment back again because I shot off my mouth. She said it was juvenile of me to respond in the way I did, and that I made her tenuous relationship with her dad even worse now and it’s all my fault and I need to apologise.”

What are you thoughts? Who is in the wrong and needs to apologise? Let us know in the comments below. 

  • If my dad was treating my husband like that I would have put a stop to it a long time ago. This situation should never have happened but I don’t think its the husbands fault.

    Reply

  • Your Father in law has no right to even have an opinion. He walked out so he gave up any rights to be included in the family. To treat another person like he is doing to you shows what type of person he really is. Your wife is in a hard place wanting to know her biological dad and wanting a perfect family life. Say you are sorry for blurting out that she is pregnant but also tell her that she is your main priority and you are there for her and her alone. Seeing you have a good relationship with your step father in law and mother in law talk to them about it and see if they have any ideas on how you can smooth things over with your wife
    Your wife is going to be upset with you as she is in a tough place as she obviously wants to get to know her biological father, Hopefully she sees what a horrible man he really is. Best of luck

    Reply

  • Wow thats full on and a lot to read. An apology is definitely needed

    Reply

  • I don’t think your husband made the situation worse for you. I don’t think it could be any worse than it is. Your husband loves you and is ‘man enough to stand up for you and act as a shield for you. You should be thankful and show your deep appreciation that you have such a person who loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you and how many children you may have. Your husband is your family, you belong to each other. Work with him and stand by your man!

    Reply

  • So much to unpack here! Whilst your wife has a right to be angry you also do, why should you let this man treat you like rubbish?! Your wife shouldn’t expect you to just let it go. The dads a fool and I probably would say something similar if I kept getting teased

    Reply

  • Her dad ran out on her after she was born, so I can’t fathom why he is so important to her now.I’m going to guess she’s spent more of her life with her husband and really needs to let things go!
    I feel for the husband 100% in this case, and honestly the wife needs to stand up to her dad, and tell him to treat him better. Also the husband should just let his wife visit her dad on her own. Nobody deserves that abuse, especially from someone who is clearly taking out his own failings on someone else

    Reply

  • While I can understand why your wife is upset I also feel that as a partnership you need to support each other
    Coming from a family where my husband is constantly belittled it’s so hard waging a war on your parents but sometimes enough is enough and the focus needs to be on the partnership your share with your spouse and the new family you are creating not the family you came from, they need to respect the boundaries which shows respect for the union and for your wife as well as you

    Reply

  • I can see why the wife is unhappy and hubby probably needs to apologise to her. The wife also owes her husband an apology for letting her dad treat him horribly for so long. The husband certainly doesn’t need to apologise to his father in law and shouldn’t apologise. No one should be treated that way by anyone. Sounds like this relationship possibly won’t last if the wife doesn’t start supporting her husband.

    Reply

  • I’m sticking with the husband on this one although I can see both sides. However, letting your husband cop verbal abuse for 5 years on is not on even if it means she wants to have a relationship with her dad that left her at birth.

    Reply

  • No way, she should be standing up for her husband not taking the fathers side. He’s a rude pigheaded person. The hubby had every right to snap

    Reply

  • Heated comment yes, and definitely taking a dig at the father in law for his inactions of being there as a parent. You can’t please everyone, and announcing a pregnancy (especially the first) is really exciting, so I can see why she’s upset.

    Reply

  • Totally get why he snapped but I can see both sides. Tough place to be.

    Reply

  • Honestly if it were me, I’d take my husband’s side.
    I mean her dad didn’t care about her for years and who knows why he’s in her life now – could be guilt or it could be for something else, who knows. But to me someone who turns their back on their wife and child so early on doesn’t deserve a place in my life.

    Reply

  • Yeah what a sucky situation. Honestly this man’s wife shouldn’t allow her father to treat him the way he does. That’s horrible. Yes I would be upset that my pregnancy was revealed in that way but I wouldn’t hold a grudge against my husband for it as I can see why he did it.

    Reply

  • Oh no! I get both sides! Id be disappointed in him for announcing it that way but can totally understand why he snapped.

    Reply

Post a comment

To post a review/comment please join us or login so we can allocate your points.

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating
Join