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Article ‘No, I’m Not Going To Buy Any Of The Expensive Items On Your Baby Shower Gift Registry’

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A baby shower gift registry is designed to take the hassle out of finding the perfect present for a mum-to-be … but what if all of the items are out of your budget?

A frustrated aunt-to-be says she’s not sure if she did the wrong thing by going behind her sister-in-law’s back to buy something that wasn’t on her baby shower gift registry, because she didn’t want to spend a huge amount.

The woman explained that her brother and his wife are having their first baby together, however her brother does have a child from a previous relationship. The couple announced that they are having a baby shower, and sent a list of items for guests to purchase.

“The cheapest item is well over $100 and that seems unreasonable to me; she is also insisting that everybody only get items on the list: examples include a standing bath and change table, a wall mounted change table, several styles of baby carriers, spacious stroller, a specific diaper bag, several humidifiers, several diffusers, the list goes on,” the woman explained.

“My brother has been telling us to talk to her about the baby items, so when I approached her about it and the costs, she said they didn’t need help affording the cheaper things like baby clothing, diapers, wipes, formula (if she needed it) and what not. They needed help with the more expensive items on the list, but after work I spoke to my brother about it again and he admitted even he was frustrated; it is behaviour he has never seen from her.”

The woman asked her brother several times what he wanted, and he said nappies and wipes. She says she spoke to him about her finances, and that she couldn’t afford anything on the baby shower gift registry.

“My brother did reveal that one of his own purchases he had to make was a portable playpen with a soft mattress on the bottom, while also having a bassinet and change station insert that clipped onto the frame and sat inside the playpen itself.

“My sisters and I all chipped in together and got him the playpen he wanted, which wasn’t cheap (for us) and not on the list. We also let him know we got him the playpen. He’s very thankful, warned us that his wife might be ‘more than a little ticked at you guys’ at the baby shower, but did say he’d deal with it when we crossed that bridge.

“My sisters and I ended up contributing around $50 each or so, though I personally paid around $80. For the lot of us it is far less than the expected $100+ his wife wanted and not even an item on the ‘baby needs’ list.”

The woman is now wondering whether she and her sisters are in the wrong for not getting something from the gift registry.

“Am I the a**hole for not contributing $100+ to our still unborn niece? It’s not like this’ll be the only $80 I ever spend on her… but does she NEED a $600 night light + diffuser/humidifier?”

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Comments

  • I think she’s found a good compromise, asking Dad and then clubbing together with other family memebers.

    Reply

  • Nothing wrong with not wanting bits and pieces you won’t use or won’t like, but there should be an option for a cash gift. That way the parents can pick what the gift cash will go to and buy the rest themselves.

    Reply

  • I think you should be very lucky for what you get and be thankful you get something.

    Not everyone has huge amounts of money to spend on a baby who will outgrow all these things so very, very fast.

    • Babies do indeed grow out of everything so fast; the baby stage goes by so quickly.

    Reply

  • Honestly I think it’s flat out rude to ask for presents full stop, regardless of cost. If someone “wants” to purchase a gift of whatever value then it should be appreciated.

    Reply

  • I agree with some of the previous comments, i think a baby register is inappropriate. People don’t have a lot of money and to ask them to buy something off your list is kind of rude especially if they are costly.

    Reply

  • I don’t see a problem with a gift registry as long as the items are a range of prices. Everyone has a different budget and i think it needs to be a considerable amount for all.

    Reply

  • Personally I think it’s inappropriote to ask for an expensive present. Be glad with whatever you get and happy when you don’t get anything.

    • I agree 1000% with this, it is about celebrating the joy of pregnancy and the child that is due, not about the fancy gifts.

    Reply

  • A gift registry is not for me.
    A surprise is much nicer than an itemised and expensive list.

    Reply

  • I never did one. Grateful for anyone who did buy a gift big or small.

    • I never evn did a baby shower

    Reply

  • Registries shouldn’t be allowed. The parents should be grateful with what they get

    Reply

  • I didn’t have a baby register, but with my wedding register I made very sure that there were multiple options around $50 and even $10 and $20 – because not everyone has a lot of money and I didn’t want people spending money they didn’t have on us. Same should apply to a baby register.

    • Me neither, I didn’t have a wedding registry either

    Reply

  • It’s a bit rude to ask for high price presents for me if the mother want’s something to remember throw a cold bucket of water on her. Thanks cheap and will do the job just nice

    Reply

  • Not in the wrong at all. Gift registry’s should not be the be all and end all, simply suggestions.
    If it was me and I was hard up for money i would simply make up a small gift basket of basics.

    Reply
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