What is it with mothers trying to outdo one another..to be the perfect mother?

It surpasses ‘who has the brightest most intelligent and talented child’ and flows into practically all areas of parenting – personally I’d say it threatens all aspects of life!

There always seems to be someone who has to try and prove to others that they are better than their fellow man or mother.

I’m Better Than You!

And they will attempt to outdo you in any way that they possibly can. It’s almost their life mission to prove how superior they are to everyone else.

For example, if their friend celebrates reaching a 10,000 step goal, instead of encouraging them, they decide to let their friend know that they did twice as many steps in less time!

If you set up a fundraiser for someone and ask if they would like to join in, opposed to supporting you, they will run against you to demonstrate how much more funds they are capable of raising for the same person or cause.

Life is just one big competition for them!

There is always a major component missing from their endeavours, however- and that’s the passion – the intention, the very foundation of what drives us to strive for the things that we do in the first place.

Where is their meaningfulness?

You can always tell when a mother is gushing over her child’s achievements because she is genuinely proud. Not because she wants to rub her child’s success in your face, but because she wants you to share in her joy and it’s beautiful because it actually gives you that bubbly feeling – opposed to the feeling of nausea you can sometimes be left with when a parent is trying to prove to you how much better their child is than anyone else’s.

When a person has an inflated sense of self-importance, it’s something they just can’t hide. It’s practically within their nature, their excessive need for admiration, and disregard for others’ feelings is simply part of who they are as a person.

They don’t merely single out one individual, they make it their goal to prove how much better they are as a human being to everyone as a whole- I guess on the upside at least they treat everyone the same.

Their Heart Isn’t In The Right Place

Where they will always come unstuck each and every time however is their intention. No matter what anyone does in life, if their heart isn’t in the right place, their actions will never align with the outcome they are trying to achieve and their endeavour is in vain.

We are all capable of doing wonderful things, but kindness enacted with ulterior motives can always be seen for what it is.

Without inner peace, doing things for the right reasons, genuinely wanting the best for others- can we ever really do good in the world? If our underlying intention is for self-indulgence rather than the difference our sincere actions will have on another human being’s life, where is the integrity?

Lacking Something

Unfortunately, I’m sure many mothers have experienced someone like this in their lifetime. But I think it’s important to remember that they wouldn’t be pretentious unless they weren’t missing inner harmony. They are lacking something. So be patient, be kind, be everything to them that they aren’t to you because they need your empathy as theirs still needs to develop.

What if they aren’t trying to outdo you because they hate you, what if they’re doing it because they don’t like themselves.

We’re taught from a young age that patience is a virtue, humility, however, will help you reach everything you need in life and more…

Life after all can be challenging enough as it is, do we honestly need to be competing with one another on top of it all?

Do you know someone who always tries to outdo everything you do? To be the perfect mother? Tell us in the comments below.

  • I just tried to be the best I could be – wonderful when my children in their 30’s told me how much they appreciated what I had taught them through my own actions – seems children pick up more from what you do than what you say.


  • Frankly I don’t have time for people like that there are so many of them and don’t care about what they say or do I just mind my own business


  • Can’t stand this mentality.


  • There are the preppy Mum’s at school but I don’t buy into their drama they probably have sad lives and this is the only joy in their lives


  • Unfortunately, there are far too many people like this – it is quite exhausting and saddening, I tend to give people like this a wide berth!

    • I give a wide berth too – very selective!


  • Sadly yep… and they post it on every social media account possible.
    People like this are just missing something in their lives when they can’t be happy for others or just not comment


  • Unfortunately, I know too many people like this. It is absolutely exhausting. And it makes me sad that I don’t talk my son up enough… simply because I don’t want to appear to be like all these other parents that go on and on about everything their child does.


  • Oh we all know people like this. Just don’t let it get to you. They mustn’t be confident in themselves to be so competitive even with trivial things. I just humour people like this and say something like “yep, you always do better than me, you’re so amazing” It’s what they want to hear and makes them feel good about themselves.


  • Many people do have competitive natures and it does not impact on me. I ‘run my own race’ and do my own thing. I choose to engage with people or not depending on their natures.


  • I’m lucky I don’t have anyone like that around me. There used to be someone I knew like this but I didn’t take much notice and they just drifted away


  • There will always be those competitive types. It’s a good point that a lot of it comes from personal insecurities and a need to control. The best thing we can do is try to build each other up and encourage each other


  • I always try to encourage my mum friends and be happy when their child do something great. I don’t associate with anyone who is like this or brush it off to worth about what my children are doing I their lives


  • How do they possibly keep up?


  • That sounds so exhausting! And more like something from a movie. I don’t try and be better than other mums because I am just a little too lazy!


  • Thankfully I don’t have many people in my life like this and they aren’t that blatantly awful about it if they are competitive. I have a hard enough time being a mother as it is so I don’t need someone else putting me down and minimising my parenting skills to make themselves feel better.


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