It can be good for parents to have some time away from their children and meet with friends. It can be time to unwind and relax and to focus on self and interests. Maybe a wider discussion about down time along with reinforcing the expectations and rules of the friendship will assist with this situation.

This is all on Emily. Her friends have explained their reasons for not wanting children along. Emily needs to make appropriate plans for Milly (eg playdate with another child, or stay with Dad or another close relative) if she wants to maintain her friendships. I don’t understand why Emily thinks she and Milly can disregard everyone’s wishes.

There may be some underlying reason why Emily takes Milly everywhere she goes, but she had not explained this to her group of friends even though they have chatted and tried to be reasonable in advising Emily why Milly should not be there and that it is upsetting the rest of the group who do find babysitters to have a mother’s day together. If Emily is so upset to be shut out of the group, then only invite her to the times when they get together and the children are all at school. It might be one way out of the dilemma they are all facing.

There are times when adults need their own time and children need their own time and it is important for the rules of friendship be followed by everyone. Their appears to have been clear communication and this appears to have been ignored. Some events and some conversations are not appropriate for children to hear and that is a good reason for separate get togethers.

I don’t think the mums are overreacting, if the mum wanted to bring the child, then maybe she should have paid for her to. I think it is important to have time without your kids and maybe she should have communicated prior to arriving that she would have her daughter so the other ladies could express their concerns, and she could have re-evaluated whether she could go or not.

I don’t think the mums group is being unreasonable either. as Milly seems the only child every time attending. It sounds to me that mum Emily lacks the ability to put normal boundaries in place to her daughter Milly. Every child needs to hear a no at times, it’s part of life and it doesn’t mean that they aren’t loved.

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all and you all have nothing to apologise for. If Emily wants to bring her daughter along she should check first that the other children are going. If it’s only the Mum’s then Milly should be left at home with her father. Otherwise Emily is going to find out the hard way that she has turned Milly into a very spoilt child.

As a parent with a small child why wouldn’t you want some me time just with the girls?
Bringing the child along to adult leisure time shows that the person
1. doesn’t trust her husband
2. has some sort of want to be needed by the child or
3. trying to make the child grow up faster than she should.
I would not be inviting her anymore especially knowing she can’t be trusted to come on her own. She obviously has some deep rooted problems that need to be addressed

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all. If Emily has been asked not to bring her daughter to a child free event ( and she’s previously agreed to this) then she shouldn’t bring her. If there’s an issue with this and she doesn’t want to leave her home she shouldn’t go. It’s not fair for one child to attend when others can’t.

There are, pure and simple, times and places where kids aren’t welcome or appropriate. I am totally on board with being understanding about things like babies crying on planes, but when it comes to a specifically adult activity in a specifically adult place… well. And TBH, the spa may also have had issues such as insurance coverage in mind.

Every situation is unique. Not knowing certain details I don’t want to pick on anyone but I don’t think Emily is being reasonable. I also think in what sounds like consistently caving in to her daughter’s demands she’s raising a child who will be an incredibly entitled, annoying adult. Rules and discipline are good for children, so are adult only days out.

These women are definitely not being unreasonable, it’s really odd behaviour for Emily to think she can bring her daughter everywhere. I couldn’t imagine anything worse than trying to have adult conversations and to have a child out their two cents in every time. All parents deserve a little kid free time

Pretty obvious mum doesn’t want to leave the child with the dad. Why this is who knows. Is he maybe not the father? Take substances or a alcoholic. Maybe he just doesn’t watch the child properly and mum finds him dangerous. He might have medical issues or work. She’s already been spoken to about not bringing the child. So don’t invite her. As mum has no one too leave the child with.

This is such a hard conservation to have because ultimately, someone is going to get hurt. It’s never easy hearing that kind of news. She should definitely be more aware of how it makes other feels and choose not to include herself instead of putting the burden on other people as thats what id do

I think the fact that they had a pretty honest and direct chat with her about the problem means they have not been too harsh. They tried to address the situation before it became a massive problem, Emily didn’t respond, and the resulting disaster is her fault. Everyone could understand an emergency. This wasn’t.

I don’t think the mums have been unreasonable at all. They did try to ask her nicely not to bring her daughter to things and they thought that in this instance it was common sense, and due to the duration of the spa treatment it really should have been. Occasionally, you can book mummy and me type packages, but if she wanted to know about whether it would be acceptable to bring her daughter she should have a) asked the friends and b) checked the terms of the spa as a lot of them won’t allow kids under the age of 16. If she wanted to do something special with her daughter like this she should have booked a separate occasion tailored to be kid friendly.
It sounds like her daughter is very spoilt and the behaviour is encouraged.