Being a parent is one of the most fulfilling experiences a person can have.
It is sad to see that many parents feel guilty at times as they think that they are bad parents. Just because your child doesn’t sleep throughout the night, or they decide to jump up and down at the supermarket checkout because they want that chocolate egg, it doesn’t make you a bad parent.
Things like this happen to the best of parents.
The most important thing a parent can give their child, however, is a sense of being loved.
All they want is a cuddle and the knowledge that they will be safe and nurtured no matter what. Just keep in mind that you don’t have to be infallible to be a “perfect” parent. In fact in my experience being “non perfect” has helped me be a better mum.
Many mothers can be overwhelmed by family and friends offering their opinion. I think it’s great to seek advice but ultimately you should take control and believe that what you do is good. Your intention is to do the absolute best that you can for your child and the wrong action can help you understand what the right course of action is next time.
Just in case you are in need of a bit of guidance, here are my favourite tips for positive parenting:
Listen to your child
I think this is such a crucial mistake that we forget to observe the character traits of our children. If they are newborn they obviously cannot speak but that’s not to say you cannot listen and observe their demeanour. Often by listening to their cues you can work out what they may need. Don’t put everything down to the explanation that “they are grumpy because they are tired”.
Find some time for yourself
Good parents do not parent 24/7, and if they did, they would commit themselves to an asylum. Having children constantly pulling on your skirt, asking for your attention, and needing picking up after on a regular basis can really get to someone. If you do not take care of yourself, you will not be able to take care of anybody else. Just a quick fifteen minutes to take a shower without interruption can be blissful, or half an hour to go for a walk can really help. This might be after the kids are in bed or while they are at school. When it happens it doesn’t matter, but you do need some time to work out your thoughts and have some peace and quiet.
Remember that you will not be able to control everything about your kids
Don’t feel bad when you forget to wash their school uniforms or if they sulk because you cannot commit to a play date. Listen to your child when they need to talk to you and set clear guidelines as to what is expected of them. You have to let your kids grow up. A parent that does everything for their child is not a good parent. You need to allow your child to begin to do things on their own.
My best tip would be to love them unconditionally
Don’t force them to be who you think they should be in order to earn your love. Let them know that you will always love them no matter what.