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Mum shares a very thought provoking post on “Why I Told My Daughter To Kick Your Son In The Balls.”

You might have seen this blog post being shared around on Facebook recently.  The post, titled, “Why I Told My Daughter To Kick Your Son In The Balls,” was written by Mandi Castle.

She explains, “Boys will not be boys in her world. She will defend herself. Why? Because I said so.”

When her daughter told her some boys at school had bullied her, Mandi encouraged her six year old daughter to tell her exactly what happened.

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Her young daughter explained how some boys were hitting her butt on the playground, and when she told them to stop, they called her chubby and laughed at her.

“That’s right, said Mandi. Two boys put their hands on my daughter, and when she told them to stop, they called her fat and made fun of her. Let that sink in for a second.”

Mandi continued,  “We discussed how inappropriate and unacceptable it was/is, and I commended her for doing the right thing by telling the teacher.

She put her head down and said, “Tomorrow, I’m just going to hide at recess.”

I pulled her into me and lifted her chin up so she could look me in the eye, and I said, “NO. You will not let two boys ruin your free time. You will not allow them to take your fun away. They are breaking the rules. If they do that tomorrow, you say ‘Keep your hands off of me.’

If they do not stop, you tell the teacher.

If they continue to bother you, you turn around and step on their feet, or kick them in the shins or their business, and if you get in trouble, go ahead and tell your teacher to give me a call.”

I explained that she might end up in the principal’s office and that we would deal with it if we had to, but I made sure she knew that she was empowered to defend herself.

Our boys are learning from us. It is not innate that when a girl says no, they immediately go to calling her fat or ugly. This is learned behavior. Your job as a mother and as a father is to make sure your sons (and daughters) know better.

I can tell you that if I learned that my son had touched a girl the way these boys touched my daughter or spoke to another child the way they did, there would be some serious consequences at our home. He knows better. He’s been taught to respect all people, all women, your daughters, so if he steps out of line there, I want to know.

Parents, teach your sons (and daughters) that they are not entitled to touch anyone anywhere, that my daughter’s back side is not for their hands, that if they do put their hands on (MY) child, they will not get away with it because she will defend herself the best way she can.”

Read the full post here

As some parents have stated why is it not OK for boys to hit girls, but we teach girls it is OK to KICK boys in their private parts?

This action could have major ramifications in later life for them if any real damage is done, is that fair that an action at six years old, that could have been dealt with in other ways, has possibly left them damaged for life? Think about that!

– “See, this singles boys out. Girls in my opinion can be worse. How about we just teach all of our kids to stand up for themselves. Whether a boy or girl is bothering them. I teach my daughters and son to be responsible for their words/actions and to stand up for themselves or others if bullying is going on. Not this boys vs girls bs.”

– “While I’m all for standing up for themselves, I wonder how moms would feel if we were teaching boys to punch girls in the breasts or vaginas if they felt they needed to. Neither is ok.”

– “Yeah because girls can’t be bullies though right? GTFO. As a previous poster said should us moms of boys be teaching our boys to kick girls in the crotch? Sounds ridiculous right?!?!”

– “Kick my son in the nuts and he will punch you dead in the face!! just because you are a girl doesnt mean you can be a little brat and bully my son and hes not hit you back for kicking him in the nuts. Now I also have 2 daughters and if a boy is hitting her first they will hit him back as well. Boy or girl no one has the right to put bodily harm to anyone.”

– “Yes, let’s teach our children that to fight bullies, you must become the bully. I can see how that will work out well.”

– “Not ok. and of course you will get stories from the bully trying to make it like they are innocent and defended themselves. Teaching them to solve issues with violence will make more trouble in the future besides getting sued.”

– “What a bad mom. You can seriously hurt someone doing that.”

As a mum of boys these posts really frustrate me. Boys are NOT all bad and are certainly not all sexual deviants.

Six year old boys don’t head off for the day at school thinking they will sexually assault one of the girls in class. (Generally not anyway!)

Shouldn’t we be teaching ALL children to defend themselves without using physical violence? There are much better ways to empower kids!

Share your comments below

Image via Mandi Castle

 

  • As a male you think I’d be against it but actually I think it’s every females right take advantage of the balls as it brings a balance to the genders in a way. However over time men and male dominated societies have made women believe its wrong for them to make use of the gift nature gave them and most are to afraid to do it. It’s also seen as very aggressive but it is actually just as effective when used in a light or playful manner as a counter or retaliation. A quick tap or squeeze is a great way to keep most guys in line and if done with a smile or humour can be seen as a prank or play fighting instead of aggression. I’ve been encouraging girls to break the taboo since I was a kid and will let any women up to it practice on mine, but I’ve noticed the percentage of women willing to do it has decreased over the last 10 years and it’s a shame. Men where given balls for your benefit… a gift to all women. Don’t waste it!

    Reply

  • It’s a fine line, isn’t it? I don’t agree or disagree, as I can see both sides of the argument and both have validity. We have taught our Punks to use their words, but if they are being physically attacked then they have every right to defend themselves. Maybe not kick someone in the balls, but they can certainly push someone out of their personal space if they are feeling intimidated! In saying that, they teach women to target a man’s sensitive areas if they’re being attacked in self defence classes, is this any different? Being hit on the butt is assault. If an adult did that to them we would call it assault. “But they’re only kids” is NOT an acceptable response. Kids need for us to teach them, it’s our duty. And kids need to learn.

    Sometimes some kids just try and make things difficult for other kids, and I’ve told our two to stand up for themselves and not let anyone stop them from having fun in their play time. For example, we always tell our Punks at the playground that if someone is standing on the slide as they’re trying to slide down to politely ask them to move out of the way, and to make sure they’re heard and that the kid knows that they’ll get knocked over if they don’t move. If they don’t move after being asked three times then we tell our girls to just slide down anyway and if the kid gets knocked over in the process then it’s their own fault. Once that happens a couple of times they learn to get out of the way and let other people slide down.

    I’ve had a couple of Mother’s approach me after their kid had been knocked over from this and gone crying to them and I’ve told them flat out that their kid was stopping other kids from having fun, that the playground is there for the kids to share and that perhaps they should be keeping an eye on their kids and making sure they’re doing the right thing and playing fairly. I always have an eye on my kids when they’re in the playground, yes it’s a physical break from them but they’re still in my care and I’m still responsible for their behaviour, I’m not just going to sit there and look at my phone or read a book or chat to a mate and let my kids run riot. It’s called parenting, and so many people just can’t be bothered with it these days, for some reason.

    I will always promote using words first, but if the situation calls for it, my kids will most certainly use physical defence. As I said before, perhaps kicking them in the balls is a bit much, but certainly pushing someone out of their personal space if they’re being intimidated is quite fine by me.

    Reply

  • I agree – teach her to defend herself, but don’t resort to that level of violence quickly.

    Reply

  • Hmm very though provoking article – I for one don’t think it is right for a 6 year old girl to be kicking another kid in their private region especially at this age – two wrongs don’t make a right – yet I am drawn to thinking if this girl gets older and a man attacks her in the street, or tries to rape her etc what would her go to defence be? If it was me being attacked I would not hesitate to kick the weakest part of a man to try to free myself – I don’t think kicking in the balls should be ruled out as a line of defence for girls but maybe not when they are 6

    Reply

  • the mother should have taken this issue straight to the school and got them to sort it out with those boy’s parents. Usually just getting the parents involved is enough to shame them and mostly the parents have no idea that their kids are behaving like that

    Reply

  • We should be teaching anyone to kick anybody else anywhere! She said it, they are breaking the rules. You let the school deal with it properly and if they dont, you kove schools and get real loud about how they ignored boys sexually harassing girls. Violence is not the answer.

    Reply

  • Seeing the pain and hurt in your child is very hard and I can understand mums feelings. Personally I try to teach my children not to respond with violence on violence, it will not stop it but increase it.

    Reply

  • I agree with the comments so far.

    Reply

  • I can understand the mother wanting her child to defend herself against verbal and physical bullying. Bullying is not gender based and some of the comments above regarding gender are just so unhelpful and divisive.

    Reply

  • everyone should know how to defend themselves and the appropriate time to use it


    • I agree – it is always a last resort; but everyone should have the skills to defend themselves in every situation.

    Reply

  • The young girl was being bullied then she should be able to defend herself.

    Reply

  • Personally I understand the frustration of this mother, but answering to violence with more violence, is not an answer.

    Reply

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