The number of children you choose to have is really no one else’s business – so why should you have to justify it?

It seems like the moment you’ve had your first child, people are already asking about when you’ll be having your second. For a lot of people, this question is mildly frustrating, but if you don’t plan on having anymore children, it can just be downright rude.

The Dreaded Question

Jen Schwartz from MotherhoodUnderstood shared a post about her experience of being a mum of one on popular Instagram page Hello My Tribe. Having always planned to have one child, Jen was subject to invasive questions about her plans for the future, only adding to the difficulty she faced battling with postpartum depression. “If you were to ask me when I knew I was done having kids, I would tell you – I knew I was done the day after I brought my son home from the hospital, the day when postpartum depression hit me like a category 1 hurricane.” Despite increasing awareness around PPD, for many women, its effects are so severe that they opt not to have any more children.

Already Created A Masterpiece

Sick of justifying her decision, Jen’s encounter with a friendly stranger was just the refreshing perspective she needed. Whilst having a mani pedi, Jen found herself talking to the woman beside her, who upon hearing that she had one son, asked her if she was having another. When Jen said it wasn’t in her plan, the women’s response was unexpected. “She replied that she only had one son too and said ‘sometimes when you create a masterpiece, it doesn’t make sense to paint another.”

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We love this story – at the end of the day, when it comes to how many children you have, the only person that has to be happy with the number is you and your partner.

Do you have a one child family? Let us know in the comments.

  • Agree 100%. My children are 5vyears apart because we weren’t ready for any more children initially.


  • This is so personal that I just can’t understand why people ask.


  • I agree, in the end we don’t know the real story desires and pains behind this. We should be thoughtful and considered always.


  • Agree none of anyone’s business!! You have 1 and they ask when is the 2nd??

    Or you have 2 or more of the same sex only, like in my case I have 2 girls – when are you having a boy?! I AM NOT! We wanted 2 were, blessed with 2 beautiful girls that’s it, am not trying for a boy and will not so bugger off and mind your own business is what I feel like telling them LOL


  • It is no business of anyone’s except the parents if they choose (or maybe not choose) to have only one child.


  • I am only having one for a few reasons, but thats no ones business but mine and my husbands. I always say to people if they start to pester me about it ‘You can’t improve on perfection!’


  • Yes I have one child who I give lots of love and affection to. You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors or other people circumstances so it is not anything that should be justified.


  • I have 2.
    My 2nd is a wonderful blessing but goodness its hard.
    PND hit me like a tonne of bricks this time round.
    I love both my girls but COMPLETELY understand why some people have 1 or none.
    People also need to understand for some people it can be such a struggle to conceive. Be thoughtful.


  • I’m an only child and would have liked siblings but what can I do. It wasn’t my mum’s choice.
    I am always careful to be considerate and not ask anyone else about this topic unless they bring it up


  • That’s a great way to shut down those kind of comments and is true in its own way. I’ve got three and I know I’m done now but after having a huge gap between my first two I copped alot of those kinds of questions too. Most were phrased as if I’d deprived my eldest of a playmate as if kids can’t make friends outside of a family circle.


  • Sometimes it is unintentional especially if you come from a big family yourself.


  • I have an only child. It was never our plan, but it is our circumstance. And I am soooo grateful for the one child that I have. It’s nobody’s business how or why that is our situation. But our child is so loved and wanted.


  • People need to think before putting pressure on others to have one or more babies. If you have problems trying to get pregnant, during pregnancy, labour or afterwards you are less likely to want to have another baby. If you are 35 + when you manage to have your first baby you may not want to risk another pregnancy. You don’t want to be pressured with prying questions too soon after giving birth anyway


  • People should be more sensitive with these sorts of issues and not so quick to ask prying questions. There are many reasons why couples decide not to only have one child and it’s really no one else’s business


  • We have 2 babies in heaven (missed miscarriage at 9 weeks and a son born at 24+2 weeks who is forever 6 days old) and 1 living rainbow baby son, we aren’t planning on having anymore, pregnancy is extremely difficult for us, and everyone we are close to knows that, HOWEVER! I still constantly get asked “so when is your next one!” Despite my rainbow baby only being 8 weeks old.. like.. let me enjoy this little miracle and leave it at that…

    • agree with this! My older sister had 2 misscarriages and then had trouble conceiving after that (good! because the relationship didn’t work out) but she was talking to someone who asked if she wanted kids not knowing hse had miscarriages, when my sister said “I’m not really thinking about children at the moment” and this person kept prodding her about why she won’t have kids and that she should and why why why etc.. my sister finally just snapped at her and sharply said “Because of I had 2 miscarriages, Ok?” not the most appropriate thing to be pushy about because you just don’t know!!!


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