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My husband and I had 2 beautiful children a boy and a girl – a pigeon pair. We were very happy with our little family. Then we found out I was expecting another child. I don’t know how I felt at first. I had such a mixture of feelings. I was working and studying in a job I was really happy in, my daughter was at child care, my oldest son at school. We were managing well with the bills, and with the ups and downs of parenthood. I had all these thoughts of how I would cope and if we really wanted this baby. Due to my beliefs I didn’t consider getting rid of the baby and after several months of talking with my Pastor I came to terms with the blessing I was expecting. Most of the pregnancy went well expect for week 35 when I was hospitalised and then sent home on strict bed rest so as not to bring on the pregnancy. The birth came and after several painful hours and emergency cesearean my little boy was born. I was so overjoyed at holding our little boy. I had a hard time for the first few weeks juggling 3 kids and my husband working so it was not an easy time. Even now 13 months on I find myself having days where I feel overwhelmed and find myself constantly going and never stopping with multiple things happening all over the place. I even break down and cry sometimes. I have done a lot of praying and have last week decided to quit my job as being a mum with 3 kids is tough and I have to stop expecting too much of myself. I am on the path to finding myself again and being able to cope better. I am starting psychology sessions and beginning to develop relationships with other mums in the community who are going through similar things. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and as long as I have hope and love I can achieve anything.

Posted anonymously, 30th July 2014

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