I had spent most of my life avoiding babies – I was put off by the vomiting and poo stories that I had heard, and the thought of having someone who was so dependant on me was terrifying. My husband felt similar and so every time the conversation turned to having a baby, we would go on a holiday instead.
That was fine until I hit 33, and I still didn’t feel ready but decided if we were going to do this, it had to be now. I had rather arrogantly thought that getting pregnant would be easy – I mean now that we were trying it would just happen right? I learnt the hard way that it does take time.
I found it frustrating watching people around me get pregnant, and as each month ticked by without any news, I started to wonder what was wrong with me. I started to experience strange feelings of hate towards strangers who were pregnant, coupled with feelings of guilt for feeling that way. What was going on?
Just after my 34th birthday I decided to start getting tested to check everything was ok. After a couple of months of tests, I was referred to a gynaecologist as I had a cyst and a polyp. I thought they were nothing but he advised that an operation would be wise just to rule out the cyst and polyp as issues.
I was booked in pretty quick and everything went very well, and I was over the moon when the very next month I found out I was pregnant! It is just under a year later, and at 35 years of age I have just given birth to a son.
So for any women out there trying to get pregnant – don’t give up. Although in the scheme of things I did fall pregnant in a relatively short time, it didn’t feel like it at the time. Having spoken to other women, I now know that the feelings I had during the trying stage seem to be quite common, but most were scared to talk about it, thinking that it was just them. It just goes to show you that you shouldn’t go through these things on youe own – you really do need to share with others your experience for your own sanity.
Posted anonymously, 30th March 2014