It's getting harder and harder

9 Comments

I’ve been a single mum since the day i conceived…..my daughter’s father was never a one night stand, but he’s never been proactive in her life.

I had cervical cancer at 18 and was on the pill (to regulate my periods & cramps) so when i fell pregnant, as hard as i knew it would be (and has been) i decided to keep my child and have never regretted it.

Up til now (my daughter will be 4 in August), it has been reasonably ‘easy’ to answer my daughter’s questions as to her father, and she has accepted that she, myself, and our cat Pepper are her family, but lately the question comes up more and more, ‘how come i don’t have a dad?’

I’m running out of things to say and would love some input x

Posted by dilemmalina, 30th June 2013

9 Comments

- - mom81879, TAS said
  - 08 Sep 2015
    8:21 pm
What a hard situation. I would suggest the truth. If you don’t tell the truth, you will be found out eventually and things will be worse. Try a little info at a time to start with until the whole story is out

- - mummywif5, TAS said
  - 12 Mar 2015
    4:49 am
My heart goes out to you but honestly my opinion Is your better off telling your daughter the truth. Because the longer you try and hide it the harder it’s going to be for you both.

- - mom57522, TAS said
  - 05 Jan 2015
    8:56 am
Perhaps just tell her the truth.

- - shazzbot, TAS said
  - 03 Apr 2014
    3:46 pm
I feel so sorry for you, I agree with the previous comment, maybe just tell her the truth.

- - yyon4699, TAS said
  - 26 Mar 2014
    6:07 pm
maybe tell her the truth?

- - jodie80, TAS said
  - 21 Mar 2014
    10:44 am
you have alittle mate for life now

- - sarahjanedreamer, TAS said
  - 01 Jul 2013
    1:38 pm
I have no idea why but I posted you a long comment which didn’t work :/ I would love for you to talk to her about all different kinds of families and how everyone has a different kind. There is a Sesame Street video on You Tube called “Mom and Me”, its from the 80’s. That is perfectly along the lines of what she needs to hear, and I am sure she will love it, it’s a lovely cheery song with all the info she needs from a kids point of view.

- - sarahjanedreamer, TAS said
  - 01 Jul 2013
    1:29 pm
That is so hard on you and I’m sure you feel heartbroken in some way about it. I suggest you look at it as “Every family is different”. Some have a Mum and a Dad, some have a Grandma and Grandpa, some have their Aunt, some have two Dads, some have two Mums, and some like us, have a cat, a Mum and a very special little girl-that’s you!! Then give her a really big hug and tell her how much you love her. There are books and videos on You Tube you can use to help you try and get your message across.
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1062992.Families_Are_Different
This video from Sesame Street ( Mom and Me) has always been strong in my mind, I am sure she’ll love it as much as I did.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJgai7s4MIw

- - hopefullyheidi, TAS said
  - 30 Jun 2013
    11:25 pm
You poor thing. I’m a single parent and my sons father is in his life so I’m fortunate. I grew up largely without my father and I still don’t know how to adequately answer your question. Perhaps you could say something like “mummy has enough love as both a mummy and daddy put together for you.”