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I am starting to get tired of being asked when I am having a second child. There are the usual statements about how our daughter needs a sibling and someone to play with. Sadly, it just isn’t happening. I am just so grateful that we have one and that didn’t happen for a long time. It is getting a bit depressing to be constantly faced with the ‘when are you having another one’ question when it isn’t happening for us. I mean what do I say? I don’t like to say ‘we’re trying’ because then everyone looks expectantly when I see them (had that before and it is so depressing). I just laugh it off but every time I’m asked it is a constant reminder of how things aren’t coming together. I hope that this is the year!


Posted by kathryn, 5th January 2014


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  • It’s no ones business but yours. Just tell them one is enough.

    Reply

  • try to ignore it :)

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  • Head up! You will get there. I know its hard, don’t let it get you down. Good luck! Stay positive.

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  • dont listen to them just tell them you will when you want too if you want too

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  • That’s human nature, When they run out of topic and do not have to take any consequences to the word they say. I truly understand how you feel and been there. But hey you don’t have to take it too personal and let them say whatever they want rite? All the best!

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  • If it took a bit of trying for your fist, it might take a bit of trying for your second. Remind people it took a while for your first and its none of their business when/IF you have any more. We are still waiting for our second too

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  • Kathryn, it’s sad that you face this problem from inconsiderate people but perhaps most of them aren’t meaning to be. Perhaps you could tell them that you are enjoying your child for a bit longer before having another one or that you ‘planned’ the agegap between ‘siblings’ or even tell them that they are hurting your feelings when you are doing your best. Relax and cheer up. Your next baby will come one way or another but if not you are still very blessed to have the one you’ve got.

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  • Some people are just so insensitive. Try and ignore them. They don’t realise that they are hurting you with their careless comments and questions. Just be honest with them. ” We aren’t planning another one at the moment and most likely we won’t ever have another one. We are happy with one child and feel that we may not ever be able to have another and as the way things are we don’t want to change things. Thank you for your support in this, we hope you understand.”

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  • i hate that. its so rude, imo. i have one, and didnt want/expect any more. when i would be asked, i would get put down for saying i was finished at 1. i still get asked.

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  • Good luck with your trying.

    A friend of mine used to answer ‘When God Wills’ to the ‘when are you having another baby question. Kinda freaked people out, bringing religion into it – and stopped them asking.

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  • I hear you! We tried for 15 years before we had her, so I am not holding my breath to be so lucky a second time. I just say “I would if I could” when people ask me. It is enough to let people know that it is not through choice, at which point they tend to drop it.

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  • I have been asked this since giving birth, and even after my partner and I split up! Its frustrating, but i tend to respond with but this ones perfect

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