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I have a three month old baby. From the get go we had complications. He was born not breathing, needing breathing tubes and all sorts of tests done. A weeks worth of antibitotics on his tiny body and heal pricks a day. I was struggling. I didn’t get to hold him for four days after birth. Did not get the chance to have skin on skin, bonding contact or even breastfeed. No one tells you how hard it could be if your baby is not born healthy. The birthing classes never prepared you for the chance something might be wrong. I know they can’t go through everything but maybe talk about the process if something is wrong, this is my first child. The birth was very traumatic. We stayed in hospital for 7 days and then had to return for more treatment.

The first couple of weeks I was thinking what have I got myself into. Waking at all hours of the night, feeding, crying and not settling. No one tells you how and why your going to be so totally exhausted. I wish they had. Not that it would change anything. I would still have my beautiful baby. But it’s been a hard road.


Posted by mom71845, 16th July 2014


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  • It sounds like you had a pretty traumatic time of it. I am sorry to say it doesn’t get easier as they get older when the teenage years come along. Throughout it all, you never stop loving them and for every difficulty, there is something special that comes from parenting and no matter how hard it gets we wouldn’t trade it for the world. Hang in there….its all worth the effort.

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  • its super tough and sometimes motherhood is the most sucky & beautiful thing all rolled into one . remember your doing a fantastic job and when you feel like you have nothing left , i promise there is just enough left to make it through any situation , i remind myself of this when things are not going to well, sleep deprivation is a really hard x

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  • Thanks for the comments. It is a struggle that things will always change. But when he smiles it makes it all worth it. It also helps to talk about the struggles. We aren’t always perfect parents. Information is definitely the key as it gives us confidence to go on every day.

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  • I had a woman in the supermarket pull me up in the baby aisle – she was ready to pop and was staring at all the baby products, uncertain about where to start. I spent about an hour talking to her and showing her what different things do. She was so grateful…there needs to be more than antenatal classes. They need to run a class that talks about all the little things – how to bathe, hold, play with, change nappies and teach. Thankfully the internet exists and any tech savvy mum to be can jump online. But the women before us….how they survived is through people around them spending the time and teaching.


    • So much info out there. It’s so hard to know what to do, products to use etc there is no manual for parenthood.

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  • Being a Mum is a hard and sleepless job but you are still blessed to have your little one and even with a bad start for the poor little mite you still have a special gift. I think they should tell all at the classes and not just about the good. They should tell you it is not a walk in the park to give birth and what could happen and go wrong and that some people have to leave with empty arms due to have an angel baby or what goes into having a baby born with other problems and how life changes afterwards. Than may be there would be alot less little ones born that have to struggle due to parents that should never have had them to start with. As the truth is there is alot that have them for the money so they don’t have to work and may be if they got told the good with the bad than they may think twice and not gone down that road. When I had my kids it was mandatory 7 days in hospital for your first and 5 days for every child after and they showed you how to do things for the baby and gave you the tools to cope when you went home. I think they should bring this back in as it would help all Mothers but also give those parents like you who have a bub born with problems some help in coping and show you different things to help settle bub as so on. I could not get over they do not even show you how to bath the baby and the different ways to get wind up and things like this. In those 7 days you use to get taught and shown all the ways to do things with bub that you went home confident in what you were doing with and for the baby.
    I hope your little bundle of joy is well now even though he had a bit of a rough start into the world.

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  • I feel your paint he first 8-9 weeks of my little man’s life was spent speaking with specialists and attending so many appointments as he was poked and prodded. Being a mum for the first time is tough….add to the mix, complications, and it can be overwhelming at times. I Wish you all the luck. It’s only early days and as time passes, you will feel more comfortable and your little bub will learn to communicate and give you such fond memories.

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