I have a friend. She is expecting her fifth baby and she was so excited…until she announced her pregnancy at 12 weeks. For the last month she has received some of the strangest comments from people, some of them well-meaning, some of them just rude. Comments such as “Are you mad?”…”Haven’t you worked out what causes that yet?”…”How can you afford it?” …and the more unsettling comments such as “but you already have kids with problems”, because two of her kids have chromosomal abnormalities, and so does this one.
My friend politely responded to these comments, but last week she reached her limit. And I can’t blame her. She and her husband are hard working, loving people who chose to have a big family…and it’s no one else’s business. That is one of the things that’s great about this country…we have choices and we can have kids if we want. Now, it may not be for everyone, but that’s for each couple to decide. But at the very least, let’s reserve judgement of others. Keep those comments to yourself, and just congratulate people on the good fortune they are experiencing.
Sometimes our comments hurt people, and we don’t even realise it. But if someone came into your home, looked around at your 2.4 children, and complained that your family was inadequately proportioned, there would be an uproar. Let’s all make an effort to think before we speak.
Posted anonymously, 21st July 2014