Hello!

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I have a 10 month old beautiful little boy and an amazing husband. My husband was injured in the army and he was medically discharged, he has problems with his legs , back and shoulders , there isn’t much medically that can help him. I do the house work and the cooking and the gardening and looking after our son , my husband helps out where he can, but it’s so frustrating some times because my husband also gets very lazy and now rely on me to do even the little things when he can do them himself and I feel bad for telling him no some times when I know he is sore or hurting. I’m just so tired all the time and it feels like I am a single parent.


Posted anonymously, 3rd December 2015


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  • Thankyou for sharing your story with us. It must be an incredibly tough time at the moment in your household.
    I urge you to have a frank talk with your husband about how you are feeling and if need be involve professional help. He may very well be experiencing issues with depression having the physical issues, the inability to express his disappointment at not being able to work, which can come out in interesting behaviours and mannerisms. I do hope that you are able to work through it together.

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  • yes that could be depression. while you are stuck in the day to day and occupied, hubby is sitting there feeling a lot of emotions that he may not want to even admit to himself, let alone you. His validation and identity as a man has been taken away. No job and injured. I bet that he is not pleased that he is in this situation. Help him figure out his next move in life as obviously it affects your whole family. You need to think like a team and get through this together instead of trying to measure up all you have done vs all he has done. That isn’t how a marriage is supposed to work. I know that you are carrying the family right now but as i see it, you are doing what needs to be done! Talk to him and work it out!


    • i hope that this doesn’t sound harsh lol. This is just my opinion so take it or leave it and i am NOT in your situation so i am not judging you! I bet that you are doing a great job of taking care of everyone and i know that it is so tough to be doing that basically alone.

      I want you to be happy and have a successful marriage! You both need to get a solution that makes you both happy! I do wish you the best of luck though!

    Reply

  • This must be a very difficult time for both you and your husband. Try to remain positive and supportive, as you both need as much support as each other. Is there anyone else who can help out from time to time? As Mom 90758 said, there is a chance he could need professional help with depression.

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  • More than lazy, is it maybe possible that your husband suffers of some form of depression at the moment? It wouldn’t be so strange after the injuries he got.

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