Ok.. So this past year has been insanely hard. I’ve had a major breakup.. Seriously ill kids… And a miscarriage.
I think the worst was the former… I was 24 weeks when I lost my angel. I still miss her everyday. And even though every one says it gets easier over time, it really hasn’t. I still cannot hear her name (Charlotte Paige) with out crying. I’ve struggled with everything since then. Nothing seems the same.. And its horrible and I can feel every one around me suffering because I just can’t move on. I get so angry when people say that they “understand” what I’m feeling.. Yet how could they? None of them have gone through the same thing that I have. Its been 6 months since I lost her. But I still dream about her every night. My partner (We got back together) cant talk to me about it.. He shuts down at the mention at her name. My other 3 kids don’t fully understand. I feel like I’ve seperated myself from everything and everyone.. I find no enjoyment in things any more.. And now I’m starting to have pregnancy symptoms again. I just want to know if I’m the only one that has ever felt this or done this? If they have any advice. If they will share their stories with other so that they don’t feel alone. To help each other get through every day. No matter how hard it gets. To try and help each other find the answers and comfort that we all need sometimes. I am finally ready to talk about all this and I want to do it to the world.
Posted by kimbignell, 15th August 2013