I am so torn as to what I should do.

My eldest daughter (3 half yrs) has autism. She has so many appointments and as I had post-natal depression I didn’t bond with her very well. I work part time for a fantastic company but I keep feeling as though I should be at home with my daughter so I can take her to her appointments and work with her a lot more.

Being a single mum, I find working great as it gives me an income, independence and a bit of a sanity break from the 2 kids.

Just so torn. Not sure if I should keep working or stay home for another year and focus on my daughter until she goes to school.

Posted by Mandi2406, 13th September 2014

Post your story
  • follow your heart … and write a pros and cons list


  • nice story to have a read


  • That’s a really hard decision to make, ultimately your the only one who can decide.


  • I think you should keep working part time. As you said your a single mum so working is almost the only adult interaction you get and also a break from the kids and as your daughter has autism she needs a very understanding mum when you are there to help her. Not a stressed out mum with a short fuse


  • That’s a tuff decision , so many things to consider,good luck with whatever you decide


  • I am a mummy of 2 daughters, my 8.5 yr old is ASD/ADHD and my youngest is fine… I know all too well the feelings you are going through so this is my advice.. WORK IS SALVATION its my ME time. without it I would go stark crazy MAD!!!! its my sainty plus its that extra bit of money we all can do with. I know all about appointments and medicines all too well. I too suffered SEVERE PND and We didnt bond all that well either. But since I work now the time we have is more precious as I have my OUT TIME to recharge my ever draining battery. DO IT! you wont look back. I started off just 3 days a week doing 3-4 a day.. now I am 4 days a week 5 hours a day…It really does help.. If you ever want to talk I have amazing ears! =) GOODLUCK XXX


  • I think you already have your answer…you enjoy your job and it provides much needed income for your family. It is normal to feel like your children are missing out when you are at work but if you enjoy it then they are getting the best of you because you are looking after yourself as well as them. Don’t be too hard on yourself, you are doing a great job.


  • I think if it were me i would carry on working not only for the money but for your mental health and the kids.
    If your coping now with her appointments then why change things, i have a friend who has a autistic child and she always says she would give anything to just have 1 day a week away from the child to just be herself and its hard having a child that needs extra care and attention.
    good luck in your decision.


  • You do what you feel comfortable doing. I know, for me being in a very similar situation, that work is my sanity. I’m lucky that my work is flexible enough for me to be available when I need to be. Don’t feel guilty for providing for your child. You do what you gotta do to make the life that you want for both of you


  • It is so hard to make a decision. I have worked since I was 15 so it is just part of life to me. But my kids need me but with all the appointments the income comes in handy for the petrol etc.

    Thank you for your kind words.


  • You’re caught between a rock and a hard place but in the end I’m sure you’ll work it out and do what you think is best.


  • What a tricky situation you are in. Really only you can decide what is going to be best for your family. But I would say you continuing to work part-time is a great idea. As you say it gives you a break and money so you can be at your best when you are with your kids. I think this is one area us Mother’s feel guilty whatever we do. If you didn’t work you may feel bad that you don’t have as much income. Don’t beat yourself up over your choice. good luck.


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