My twelve year old son, Billy was upset. “Mum you are always in a good mood, you just don’t get it.”
I’d asked him if I could help with anything and while I was pleased that he remembered me as being in a good mood, I also understood he was reaching out to me in his own way and I wanted him to know the reality of the situation. At the time, I was making Marge Simpson ‘GRRRRRR’ noises at our three year old Amelia, as I tried; not very successfully, to help her get dressed. After chasing her around the couches and finally catching her, she was now jumping on my back as I crouched down. I held back from yelling at her as she pulled at my pony-tail and said to me:
“Ohh pretty, pretty, hair-band, I want it! I want it!” I finally managed to wrestle her into her favorite, frilly, ‘dancing dress,’ while telling her crossly not to pull my hair because it hurt, then I turned to talk to Billy.
He isn’t the first person to say something along the lines of – ‘Grace, how do you stay so positive?’ Or, ‘you know sometimes Grace, you are too positive.’ I told him the truth as I always try to.
“Billy, I get in bad moods too. I try not to get caught up in them because they don’t make me feel good. A mood is really like a word to describe feelings or emotions. And they always pass. They are like the dark clouds in the sky in a storm that always passes. Everyone has different feelings, its very normal, you are supposed to have feelings. There are plenty of times that I feel anxious, stressed, yukky, angry, annoyed, frustrated and tired and it’s really important to know that this is normal. Then, the key is to learn to do what you need to do to relax and get yourself feeling good again.”
I kept it simple, talking so he would understand and know it was okay to feel yukky sometimes. The leading lecturer of positive psychology at Harvard University, Tal Ben-Shahar says it a little more eloquently as one of his keys to being happy:
“Give yourself permission to be human. When you accept negative emotions, you are more likely to overcome them.”
Back in our living room, Billy listened, was quiet for a while and went to rest in his room. It didn’t take long for him rediscover his beautiful and magical self.
So to help other busy mums and dads in real life and jog your own self-nourishing, de-stressing, ‘choose to be positive’ strategies, here a few I love.
- Intuition. To me, my most sacred gift in life is listening to my intuition. This is my connection to Spirit, Infinite Intelligence, Mother Nature, God and my guardian Angels. It is going within to listen to my intuition, to my heart, body, mind and soul and my connection to universal love and abundance. I love and constantly take ‘time out’ to listen to my intuition.
- Affirmations – Affirmations are words that I say to myself to make myself feel better. For example: “I am at peace. I am strong enough within to get through this. I am not going to let that (whatever) bother me. I love and accept myself as I am.
- Good people. I love to put myself around authentic people who make me feel good, loved, safe and peaceful.
- A good environment. I am a nature spirit. I love to go for runs, walks, bike rides, swims or anything else. Healing and power come to me from fresh air and sunshine.
- Nourishing rest. I love to nourish myself with resting, sleeping, a massage or daily activities like reading a book.
- Talking it out. It’s good to first someone you trust with your best interests at heart and then share your concerns.
- Writing in my journal.
- Taking time out to connect with my Angels.
- Exercise – this always makes me feel good.
- Eating nourishing, good food. I especially love organic living raw plant foods, a beautiful dinner/brekky/lunch out with loved ones, BBQ’s in summer and salads.
- Smile and laughter – it is an instant feel good activity!
Oh, and remember to take what works for you and leave or ignore what doesn’t. You are the creator of your own unique and amazing life.