The bride said that her mother’s behaviour ruined the day and she is struggling to forgive her…

A devastated bride has taken to Mumsnet to share her frustration about the way that her mum behaved on her wedding day. The bride said that ever since her grandmother’s death, her mum has been struggling, but admitted that her outbursts and moodiness were particularly bad at the wedding and ultimately ruined the day.

A Tough Time

The bride says she has supported her mother over the past year without any recognition or thanks. “I’ve been her shoulder to cry on all year,” she wrote. “I’ve let her take her moods out on me…she’s been extremely demanding expecting my husband and I to be at her beck and call constantly. We did this as she was having a tough time.” The bride went on to say that on the day of the wedding, her mum threw a number of tantrums about everything from misplacing her handbag to the lack of attention her daughters were giving her. “I was getting into my dress and she was stomping round the house screaming and swearing,” the bride said. “I ended up sitting in the bedroom I was getting ready in trying so hard not to cry.”

Cutting Ties

After her behaviour on the wedding day, the bride says she has reduced contact with her mum and is struggling to forgive her. “I just can’t deal with her anymore,” she admitted. “How do I get over my disappointment that she couldn’t allow my husband and I to have one day of niceness?” Comments on the post said the bride was completely justified in her decision. “She’s horrible,” wrote one forum member. “You’re doing the right thing. She needs to learn she can’t treat people like this!” “She sounds immature and unstable,” said another. “About time she respected you and your sister as adults. She needs to grow up herself too!”

Even though grief can be incredibly complex and everyone deals with it in their own way, we think this mum was way out of line, especially when her daughter has been so supportive. We can only hope they’re eventually able to work things out!

Did a family member ruin your wedding day? Share your story in the comments!

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  • I understand it was horrible for you and no doubt embarrassing but you have to always remember you only have one mother. Once she is gone there is no coming back-try to forgive and move on.

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  • Maybe she should wait a couple of weeks before visiting her Mum. If it was me I would wait to see your her Mum broached the subject about the wedding at all. You can tell her you were disappointed about what happened at your wedding. It will be interesting whether or not she comments. Maybe you could suggest that both of you go to a grief counselling session.

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  • Oh that’s a bit sad to hear :( i’d be shattered if that had happened.

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  • Yep, some people just can’t stand not being the centre of attention or seeing other people happy – tip don’t let them ruin a special day; you’re just giving them what they want if you do.

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  • I suppose knowing the people in your life and what they are like – you should know what to expect.

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  • A lot of the time, but not all the time, there’s is one family member or friend who can upset the occasion. These things can happen on stressful occasions like weddings, bridzillas can come out too ;)

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  • Ahhhh wedding days. Yes, someone always has to ruin them. In my case, both sides of the family. I have a narcissistic sister who can’t handle things not being about her. She ripped all my nails off (to bleeding point) and threw hot coffee in my face two days prior because my Dad wasn’t walking me down the aisle (long story, and my choice). My Mum begged me to still have her at my wedding and I appeased my Mum, as I always do. Sister arrived with noticeable hairstyle, red earrings, red lips, red heels in the shortest WHITE satin and lace mini dress. One guest asked who the hooker was and was surprised to learn it was my sister!!! And then there’s the father-in-law who has to ruin every major event in our lives, fighting with family members beforehand so that two of our loved ones didn’t turn up.

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  • I totally understand where this bride is coming from. On our wedding day we received a phone call from my half sister to say that her husband had beaten her and she needed us to pick her up and take her to our mother’s place. We had to leave our wedding reception and pick her up and take her to mum’s. We found out the reason he’d hit her once (which I don’t believe is right) because she tipped his meal over him. It was a casserole straight off the stove and so he chased her. We had to pick her up from the Police Station and then the car wouldn’t start. She refused to get out of the car so I had to push the car in my wedding dress with her 5 & 7 year old children wanting to help. My husband was pushing from the drivers door ready to jump in when we got speed up. Never spoke to her after that.

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  • I can understand grief but it’s been over a year there’s really no excuse for this behaviour at ur daughter’s wedding

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  • Life is too short to have people in your life that stress you out even if they are family

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  • it is ok to cut toxic people from your life. Mum might need medical intervention, maybe anti depressants though

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  • Hopefully the Mum wises up to the upset she has caused and puts an end to it, even if it is too late for the wedding.

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  • Sad that they have a relationship like this but hopefully they can work it out.

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  • That sounds horrible, our family hasn’t ever had any wedding problems

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  • No family member ruined my wedding day, but I di wish I had had the courage of my convictions and not walked up that aisle – my father knew I had second thoughts and kept saying to me ‘Walk, come on walk’, but I should have run away like I wanted. Years later when I finally left my domineering womanising unfaithful husband my dad admitted to me that every time he and mum came to visit me they wondered if they would find me in a pool of blood on the floor. Bad outcome but I have moved on to a much happier place now.

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