I can’t imagine how hard the anniversary must be every year. It is beautiful the family can come together and remember him, have a laugh and cry and share in something he enjoyed. but it’s always a tragedy when parents outlive a child. Thinking of everyone who is in this situation

I think its a good and postive thing for children to learn that adults can be sad, angry, make mistakes, etc

This is so sad. I can’t begin to understand what’s going on and hope I never will. All the best as always and cherish the ones in your life

This month is the anniversary of my baby son’s death – and like you, it’s only days away from another child’s birth. It is important to acknowledge your sadness to your kids, and also that it is okay to still be happy at other times.

It’s a struggle to get it right. Sometimes I did the let it all hang out approach and I’ve also tried the stiff upper lip option. Both work for me

We went through a stage where elderly would pass away and a few months later a relative had a new baby. So we went through the grieving process and a few months later a combination of still grieving and the excitement of a new baby in the family. At one stage that happened twice within a year. A close friend’s Dad died 2 months after his 80th birthday during that time too. I was trying to help everybody but had to step back and think about looking after myself to have the strength to care for them too.

Depends on their age. If they’re too young to understand, ill act like nothing is wrong till they’re in bed and then I’ll have my breakdown. If they’re older and might understand more, I might tell them I sad and why.

When I feel sad I try and get some time out for a little bit, I let myself be sad and tell my child it is ok to feel sad. for my child to learn all different emotions.

I haven’t come across your original story about the loss of your son, after reading this, I cross my fingers I will come across it. Such a terrible event, the loss of a child :,(

Learning about emotions is often over looked when thinking of educating children.

I agree totally! We need our kids to know that it is ok to be sad, just as it is ok to be happy, excited etc…

The first thing I noticed was the beautiful image. The painting is striking and just beautiful. We absolutely must take time to feel and reflect. I always share with my son particular dates that are difficult for me and why they are so. I want him to understand it’s okay to be sad, and to remember. My niece was stillborn 20 years ago and we still talk about it on the anniversary, I always ring my sister, and we generally place something on her grave. My Dad died the same year, on Christmas Eve. And 20 years on, we all go to the cemetery at the time of his passing just to reflect and be together. My son understands and has been coming with me to his grave for the past few years. We also talk about him to keep the memories fresh and alive. I never know how I’m going to feel on a particular anniversary, so I just let the memories and the mood take me wherever. My family understands that.

Thankyou for sharing your experience Nikki I’m sure it gives comfort to many grieving a loved one. As you mentioned, in our busy lives we forget to breathe and “feel”. I’m a practitioner of Emotional Freedom Technique (AKA tapping or EFT), so I know how important it is to have a strategy to release the stress, or the emotions will present in the physical body if unattended. Be kind to yourself. Vikki (www.moremojo.com.au)

Thank you Nikki for the courage to tell your story.

This is such a beautiful painting and full of soul and emotion.

I had no idea about Noah Nikki! I cried when I read this article. I think losing a child would be the most gut wrenching thing parents would ever have to go through. My heart goes out to you and your family.
love from Robyn a regular lover of Mom x x

I think I will create a “hug full of elbows and knees” with my children of all sizes tonight & remember how blessed I am.
Your painting is beautifully raw, thankyou for sharing it. I studied Art Therapy for 2 years & the power of expression is just that, powerful.

Love & light to you & yours.

I want to know the story of Noah, can someone please send me a link to the story?

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  • • robyn_smithwick replied
    • 03 Jul 2015 , 7:49 pm

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  I would dearly love to know this story too

So true, as mums we never allow ourselves to be weak and show our sadness. But sometimes it bursts through and then it washes over us and everyone around us.
I am sorry for your loss.

Fantastic, therapeutic read and so well written. Grief has to be felt, emotions are real and neccessary coping strategies. The way you deal with your emotions will clearly help your children to deal with their their struggles throughout life.