An angry mum is fuming after what she says are the rude actions of another mum, whose child didn’t show up for her daughter’s birthday party.

The mum says she sent out 20 party invitations for her daughter’s birthday back in November – nine weeks ahead of the party date.

“Most responded yay or nay straight away, one parent didn’t,” she explained.

“Fine, I didn’t think anything of it. I then bumped into her on the school run and asked if Ida could come or not, she said yes.

“A few days ago I sent out another text to everyone who had said yes reminding them to sign the venue’s waiver thing – this parent read and didn’t reply.”

The mums says she had to pay the $50 per head for each child to secure the booking (including Ida), and on the day of the party, Ida didn’t turn up. She says she also made sure she had enough food and party bags for everyone, and thinks the mum was in the wrong for not turning up with her child.

“Am I being unreasonable in thinking if you don’t want to come, just bloody decline?”

The mum’s post was met with hundreds of comments, many sympathising with her frustration.

“We call these types trashy. It’s a terrible example they’re setting for their children. I suppose the kids will eventually wonder why they don’t get invited to any parties any more and not have a clue,” replied one mum.

Another said, “The same thing happened with DD’s party last year. Two flaky sets of parents didn’t RSVP and when chased, assured us their child was coming. On the day, one turned up and the other didn’t. No notice or apology from the no-show. It was a real shame as there was another child I wish we could have invited.”

What do you think of the situation? Let us know in the comments below.

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  • Ida’s Mum was definitely in the wrong by saying Ida would be there knowing full well she wouldn’t be.


  • I always account for a couple of no shows to any party (whether it be birthday, celebration, new year’s etc). The other mother may have anxiety and just doesn’t want to be put in a confronting situation to say no, or alternative like myself, with people I don’t know well I get super nervous about group situations. It’s a shame, but continue inviting their child to functions, as it is likely not their fault.


  • Getting a birthday invite is a surprise, then a should we go question arises. If you say no straight away with 9 weeks notice, the mum might then just think you don’t like me I’ve given lots of notice, so then you are caught in a shit position of then having to explain why you don’t want to go. To avoid that some might say yes even look interested then closer to the time say they are busy. Some people don’t want there own kid going to a heap of parties especially if there kid hasn’t had a party yet and that child has already had a party too. Or going to parties with 30 odd kids some might not like the whole overkill of there kid experiencing present mania. Party mums are the worst they get offended if you say no, when alot of the times it’s not personal you’ll find that mum has said no to lots of parties. I’ve said no to 5, gone to 5 parties in 2 years. When do I get a party is all I hear at 6 years old from my daughter now.


  • This is a hard one, I am a parent who always responds with a yes, unless our kids are sick.
    But on the other hand, I just admit there has been times when I have completely missed parties because the invitation was buried in the depths of a schoolbag and found weeks later, and there was also one time when I just plain and simply forgot- however upon realising I profusely apologised to the parents.
    If someone blatantly says they’ll be there, then doesn’t rock up, and without an apology or explanation I feel you could absolutely be angry with that person, it’s so unfair and just shows that they’re taking bday invitations for granted.


  • Sounds just rude and the lack of courtesy.

    • It’s sad and inconsiderate not to RSVP indeed


  • Sounds like a great fight in the playground is needed let me know when it’s on I have not seen a good one since the footy last year


  • Yeah that’s rude to say you will come but actually don’t.
    Worse if you have a pay per child venue! Just be polite and respond to the invitation and if things change at least let them know!
    We had 2 of my husbands friends rsvp yes to our wedding but didn’t show up, not even a message to let us know they weren’t coming. Very frustrating when you have to pay per head!!


  • It is inconsiderate not to RSVP to an invitation. Happened to me too. An invited child and his parents could not give me a definite answer and I ended up paying for him “just in case”. He never turned up. :(


  • I think it’s rude – it doesn’t take much to flip a message to say Thanks so much for the invite but sorry Ida can’t make it. You don’t need to provide a reason.


  • It’s not that hard to say yes or no. Unfortunately this girl will not be invited to other parties and her mum will wonder why. It happens at weddings too. It’s just a shame that you had to pay $50 for a no show. It also shows that the venues have been bitten by no shows as well.


  • It’s not nice, a simple response is not much to ask. If the child couldn’t attend at the last minute then a phone call wouldn’t go astray.


  • What a very bad example to show to your own child. I cannot imagine you will be inviting her again for future parties. But don’t be so annoyed that you present a bad example to your own child.
    Because it is so easy to contact one another in this day and age, then people don’t bother anywhere near as much as they used to do before we had all this wonderful technology.


  • Most of my kids’ parents are pretty good about RSVPs. With one exception, our no-shows have been sick kids and the parents let me know.


  • It’s not something I would do. I would definitely cancel but there are some people out there they don’t care. It’s a shame.


  • Unfortunetly this happens all the time, we had a girl say she couldn’t make it, then she came! i didnt have a party bag, or even a chair for her – as i has to pay per head! and then the mother looked at me like, why didnt you think she wouldnt come? the nerve of some people is amaxing


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