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It was recently my birthday, and I completely jinxed it. I announced to the world, it wasn’t going to be great. I’m usually pretty happy about birthdays, but let’s be frank, 37 is not a pretty number.

It’s a stretch to refer to yourself as mid-thirties, but it’s not the fancy age of 40 either. It’s a kind of no-mans land of age. Anyway, I woke up and not long afterwards, I trod in poo. I’m not sure of the source; I didn’t have the energy to investigate the ‘matter’, but poo all the same. As you can imagine, the day then played out not dissimilar to Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. However, now that I’m out the other side and can laugh about my forgettable, yet unforgettable birthday, I realised a few things.

Sometimes ‘okay’ has to be enough

Everywhere I look at the moment, I see pressure. Mums being pressured to be better parents, better wives, better cooks, better lovers, better looking.

It makes me want to scream from the rooftops, ‘sometimes ‘okay’ is enough’. It’s okay if your child’s homework wasn’t done perfectly; they had a crack and handed it in on time. Congratulations.

Sometimes you end up wearing the same jeans and t-shirt all week. It’s okay; at least you brushed your hair before you walked out the door. It’s time to stop being so tough on ourselves.



You can’t be everything to everyone

At the heart of me is a yes girl. You need someone to babysit, yes. You need a cake for the stall, I’ll bake you two. You need your job done by tomorrow morning, yes siree. Give me a request and yes, yes, yes. However, as I’m getting older, I’ve realised I need to say no sometimes. Otherwise, my husband and children find themselves in the company of a very different mum. My children affectionately refer to her as ‘dragon mummy’. My eldest recently announced, ‘we haven’t seen dragon mummy for ages, it’s great!’ It was then I realised I was onto something by saying ‘no’ sometimes.

Guilt is a wasted emotion

Once I got into the habit of using the occasional ‘no’, I did notice a rise in guilt. Which is really a huge waste of energy, using up all that emotion on guilt. Much better to practice the emotions of love, confidence, contentment, courage, curiosity, joy and excitement!

So when those old feelings of guilt come creeping into my mind, I shoo them away, and replace them with new thoughts.

Thoughts about what fun things I could do with the kids on the weekend, or how happy my clients are with all the great work we do for them.

As it turns out, the ripe ole age of 37, aint so bad after all. Inner happiness, calm and contentment are much more beautiful than coveting Jennifer Aniston’s flat stomach, or the latest must-haves from the fashion pages.

And if you ask your children, they probably already think you’re pretty damn beautiful, just for being their mum.

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Did you struggle with turning a certain age? What age was it?

 

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  • Im in my late 50’s and feel thankful that I have made it this far. None of us know how long we are here for so each birthday is a triumph

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  • I don’t have a problem being a certain age, I don’t cope well with looking that certain age, even worse if I look older then that age. Now that’s hard!

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  • Very interesting! Thanks for sharing this!

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  • well we are all getting old and we cant stop it,just have to enjoy it we are still young

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  • very nice

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  • It feels like i went to bed and i was 42 and got out of bed in the morning and i was 50, gotta make some lifestyle changes before it all gone.

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  • I haven’t so far.. I don’t constantly think of what age I am though. Don’t know if that helps at all.

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  • I know the feeling well I just turned 35 and it was well blah…..

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  • thanks so much for the good read

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  • Thanks for sharing… it is a great reminder that we are human.

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  • so exellent to read these so great

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  • Thank you for sharing this..Sometimes us Mum’s need a reminder of these things

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  • I would love to be in my 30’s!

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  • Glad I’m not the only one who felt this way on approaching my 30th. I have learnt that all the dreams and goals I had are nothing compared to the health and happiness of my family.

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  • I am in the same boat, I’m a people pleaser and feel guilty about saying no. I agree I need to say no more for the sake of my family!

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  • great to read all these here

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  • I think the older you get ‘peer pressure’ decreases somewhat.

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  • Some very wise words!

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  • The older I get the more that I realise that it’s ok to say no to people for my own sanity. I don’t have to be a people pleaser and if I say no what’s the worst that can happen? If someone is put out then it’s their issue, not yours, and they need to readjust or manage their expectations appropriately

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  • i think the “age” is different for everyone

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