Mandy from My Lovely Little Nest begs the mummy mafia to “Leave Mums alone”.
Mandy shares on her Facebook page a personal experience which shocked her and left her begging women to “support a mum no matter how different her way is to yours.”
“Minding my own business looking at baby goodies in a store when a lady asks “when are you due”?
I reply October and that I can’t wait when she says “and will you deliver naturally or like all these other young ones who are too scared to push”.
Was I day dreaming about donuts again that I heard this woman incorrectly…..
I’m never normally lost for words but I did gasp and take a moment to compose myself before responding.
“Thank you so much for the compliment, I’m actually 32 so not exactly a ‘young one’ but hand me the forms now so I can sign away for a c-section because I’m terribly scared to push after my first attempt nearly killed me”.
She then rolled her eyes and walked off!
What on earth was she trying to achieve?
I’m not a violent person and it takes a lot to rev me up, but I wanted to chase this woman down and hit her over the head with my kiddy crap filled handbag.
I see a lot of mummy mafia bullying on social media, and far too often mothers passing judgement and giving their opinions when they clearly aren’t asked for, but do people really think it’s ok to say this to someone in public? She had no keyboard to hide behind, and yet she didn’t even care, just waltzed on up and sprayed her opinion on me and I’m here to say it’s not ok.
Rewind 11 years to the birth of my first child, Miss 11 – All I ever wanted was to give birth naturally.
I was induced on a hot January morning after stop start labour, reached 7cm dilated when I experienced the worst pain of my life and was struggling to breathe. I knew something was wrong and demanded the nurses please check baby’s heartbeat after they kept trying to assure me everything was fine. Thank god they eventually listened because her heartbeat dropped from 145bpm to 12. Alarms rang, nurses and doctors came running in the room and I was raced to theatre. They told me they had minutes to deliver her, masked me up and I was out.
I woke in the evening, to a healthy 6pound baby girl and yet feeling like death myself. It wasn’t until the next morning i found out what had happened that has turned me off ever wanting to try for a Vbac.
I have a narrow pelvis, experienced placenta abruption, baby was stuck and my body shut down. I was revived on the operating table twice. It haunted me, I felt robbed of my chance to push but then I realised that if I had 7 children I would have 7 c-sections to ensure they all arrived safely.
Not for a second am I too posh to push but am I scared, absolutely, and there is no way I would ever even attempt it again and that’s my choice, whether miss opinionated in the shop likes it or not.
C-sections aren’t fun or an easy way out, I’m in a lot of pain in this picture just hours after master 3 was born, but they are crucial for many women to be able to safely deliver a healthy baby. Did I still give birth, absolutely and I have the scars and two ratbags to prove it.
I don’t know if I’ve over reacted to her comments due to being 17 weeks pregnant and a ball of hormones, or because of what I’ve been through, but I’ll let you be the judge of that.
Anyway, not at all a sob story, I can hold my own but we all have experiences and circumstances that make us, and our decisions as mothers so very different and that’s ok.
Whether you push like a boss, deliver via surgery, choose breast or bottle, cloth nappies or disposable, they are OUR choices for OUR children and don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
Motherhood needs team work, support a mum no matter how different her way is to yours.
ARGGHHH!!!! It just makes me want to scream when I read these stories. Why are people so rude? How is it any of your business even?
Have you ever experienced anything similar to Mandy?
Share your comments below.
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