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Mandy from My Lovely Little Nest begs the mummy mafia to “Leave Mums alone”.

Mandy shares on her Facebook page a personal experience which shocked her and left her begging women to “support a mum no matter how different her way is to yours.”

Mandy writes…
“Minding my own business looking at baby goodies in a store when a lady asks “when are you due”?
I reply October and that I can’t wait when she says “and will you deliver naturally or like all these other young ones who are too scared to push”.

Was I day dreaming about donuts again that I heard this woman incorrectly…..
I’m never normally lost for words but I did gasp and take a moment to compose myself before responding.

“Thank you so much for the compliment, I’m actually 32 so not exactly a ‘young one’ but hand me the forms now so I can sign away for a c-section because I’m terribly scared to push after my first attempt nearly killed me”.

She then rolled her eyes and walked off!
What on earth was she trying to achieve?
I’m not a violent person and it takes a lot to rev me up, but I wanted to chase this woman down and hit her over the head with my kiddy crap filled handbag.

I see a lot of mummy mafia bullying on social media, and far too often mothers passing judgement and giving their opinions when they clearly aren’t asked for, but do people really think it’s ok to say this to someone in public? She had no keyboard to hide behind, and yet she didn’t even care, just waltzed on up and sprayed her opinion on me and I’m here to say it’s not ok.

Rewind 11 years to the birth of my first child, Miss 11 –  All I ever wanted was to give birth naturally.
I was induced on a hot January morning after stop start labour, reached 7cm dilated when I experienced the worst pain of my life and was struggling to breathe. I knew something was wrong and demanded the nurses please check baby’s heartbeat after they kept trying to assure me everything was fine. Thank god they eventually listened because her heartbeat dropped from 145bpm to 12. Alarms rang, nurses and doctors came running in the room and I was raced to theatre. They told me they had minutes to deliver her, masked me up and I was out.

I woke in the evening, to a healthy 6pound baby girl and yet feeling like death myself. It wasn’t until the next morning i found out what had happened that has turned me off ever wanting to try for a Vbac.

I have a narrow pelvis, experienced placenta abruption, baby was stuck and my body shut down. I was revived on the operating table twice. It haunted me, I felt robbed of my chance to push but then I realised that if I had 7 children I would have 7 c-sections to ensure they all arrived safely.

Not for a second am I too posh to push but am I scared, absolutely, and there is no way I would ever even attempt it again and that’s my choice, whether miss opinionated in the shop likes it or not.

C-sections aren’t fun or an easy way out, I’m in a lot of pain in this picture just hours after master 3 was born, but they are crucial for many women to be able to safely deliver a healthy baby. Did I still give birth, absolutely and I have the scars and two ratbags to prove it.

I don’t know if I’ve over reacted to her comments due to being 17 weeks pregnant and a ball of hormones, or because of what I’ve been through, but I’ll let you be the judge of that.

Anyway, not at all a sob story, I can hold my own but we all have experiences and circumstances that make us, and our decisions as mothers so very different and that’s ok.

Whether you push like a boss, deliver via surgery, choose breast or bottle, cloth nappies or disposable, they are OUR choices for OUR children and don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

Motherhood needs team work, support a mum no matter how different her way is to yours.

Mandy xxx

ARGGHHH!!!! It just makes me want to scream when I read these stories. Why are people so rude? How is it any of your business even?

Have you ever experienced anything similar to Mandy?

Share your comments below.

Image stock photo

  • You in now way over-reacted.
    Your body, your baby, your choice. And it sounds like you dont really gave a choice anyway.
    My words of choice would have been to tell her to *insert expletive here* off and mind her own business.

    Reply

  • C-sections definitely aren’t the easy way out! I really hate that there are women out there who need to bring mums down about the way they bring their child into the world. Really, in the end does it matter? So long as the baby is healthy and mum is ok who really cares anyway!?

    Reply

  • There are many people i know who had kids a lot of them have been natural births, But other have need a C-Section not one of them that went for that option did it due to been too scared to push.. There has always been a medical reason for it.. I personally dont think that is a easy way out of child birth due to the recovery time afterwards.. It wouldnt be easy.. People can be so rude and dont even realise what they are saying…

    Reply

  • People are so darn rude.
    I had all 3 of my kids naturally with just some laughing gas. This suited me perfectly as im scared crazy of needles and the thought of having a needles in my spine scared me half to death. I was also scared crazy that I would have to have a C section and I knew that if they told me thats the road I had to take then I would have to be knocked out. A friend of mine elected to have C sections with all 3 of her kids… I thought she was crazy….she thought I was crazy but we both fully supported each others choice.
    Having a baby is not a walk in the park and it doesnt matter what way you choose to have your baby as long as you are not putting the baby at risk or yourself because you matter too.

    Reply

  • People make me so angry sometimes. What gives anyone the right to comment on another woman’s pregnancy/labour, especially without knowing the circumstances.

    I had my son 4 months ago & I desperately wanted a vaginal birth (refuse to call it a natural birth). I still get upset at times that I had to have a c-section but it was the best option for bub.

    I was being induced & when they went to break my waters they felt the cord near bub’s head. If I started contractions it likely would have stopped the flow of oxygen to him or he may have gotten it wrapped around his neck (had also had trouble conceiving & pregnancy complications so OB wasn’t willing to take the risk) so I was scheduled for c-section that morning. When he was delivered they found his cord was very short so a vaginal delivery wouldn’t have been possible & it would have ended up as an emergency c-section. Unfortunately I had no choice in the matter but I would do it again if it meant I got to hold a healthy baby in my arms!

    Reply

  • When will people learn to mind their own business. I had a planned c section 2 months ago and was asked this all the time. Everytime I proudly declared that I was having a panned c section and never gave any reason why. My medical history is not their business.

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  • What a stupid thing for that woman so say.
    How dare she judge

    Reply

  • I am one that won’t be allowed the opportunity to push if I ever have another child, not by choice but by necessity. I have an Irritable Uterus. Which showed up my second pregnancy. I delivered my first child (nearly 10 year old son) via emergency C – Section at 37 weeks after a failed induced labour & issues with pre eclampsia. Second child (a 5 week old girl) wanted a VBAC, had threatened preterm labour at 30 weeks, was discovered I have an Irritable Uterus & extra amniotic fluid. Due to those issues and previous risk factors I had to have a planned C – Section. I would love to be able to give birth naturally but I can’t. I could never recommend a C – Section unless it is medically necessary but for some of us it is.

    Reply

  • Seriously what is wrong with people. I’m shocked at how shallow and judgemental people are when it comes to mums, pregnancies etc. Mind your own business is what I would have screamed at that lady and it takes a lot to rev me up to. I had my first baby at 22 and I would always be asked how long I have been married after the STRANGER would do a quick check of my ring finger. Little did they know I married my soulmate at 19 and we’ve been married eight years strong.

    Reply

  • Oh what the??? That’s harsh. This lady’s experience is exactly why we need to be cautious as to what we say out loud, as we never know what someone is/has gone through previously.

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  • I didn’t experience anything like that. but if I were Mandy, I would have been so mad when that woman dared to say what she said. Unbelievable!

    Reply

  • I’ve never been one to worry too much about what others think or say.

    Reply

  • I was told by a (no longer) friend that I wouldn’t be able to handle natural delivery and would beg for an epidural and a c section. She also told me that I better not spend an of my husbands money if I wanted pain relief! I had never wanted to slap any one so hard in my life. I also had a woman say to me “I wouldn’t want to be seen out in public in your state” I was a week over due by then and had actually felt as if I dressed myself well that day.

    Reply

  • If the Mother and / or baby are likely to be at risk a C-Section should be a pre-arranged option if needed. Making emergency decisions are often just that, sometimes a life/lives are already at risk. I know of Mums who had Toxaemia (It now has another name. One the Mother passed away, another the Mum had an emergency C-section and for 3 days they weren’t sure whether or not she would survive, and the other one the Mum was seriously ill, the baby was in critical condition and passed away a few days later. Too much of the toxin had gone into the baby. I also know another Mum who drifted in and out of consciousness before having an emergency C-Section.

    Reply

  • I delivered naturally. I wasn’t offered anything else nor did I request it. Even tho my son was undiagnosed breech, it was all natural. Not even any pain relief with my daughter

    Reply

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