I am 100% on her side. Her husband has proven that he wont stand up to his mother and so the wife is doing the only thing she knows of to make sure she doesnt have to deal with the MIL this time around. Good for her.

This is a hard one as it’s really a mother in law issue. She’ll have her time and this is the parents place and time. But easier said then done.
The fathers need to take control here and have the information and explain how it will be to their mothers. Instead of putting daughters in law in the position of villain. Ridiculous.

I’ve had the MIL from hell so I completely understand why she is doing it, but it must be incredibly stressful for her and put a strain on her relationship

So glad I don’t have a MIL like that and a partner who is supportive of my choices!

The MIL needs to back off so you can enjoy the birth together without any interference. It’s totally understandable where you’re coming from and, hopefully her husband will understand as well. Just remember if your husband is unable to get the time off then you won’t be able to complain about that. I’m sure your MIL will forgive you in the end.

You poor thing. Who needs the added stress of this. And I can’t believe her husband doesn’t have her back and would share this info. Not a great start.

Given the situation, actually I think she is doing the RIGHT thing.

I can understand this but a bit sad hubby can’t be trusted to keep a secret. I imagine he may be hurt by this and she might stab herself in the foot if his work want to be difficult

It is extraordinary the lengths people go to. Her MIL should be ashamed.

No nothing wrong with that, her body her choice and most important for mum to be to be comfortable and not stressed.

I can understand she doesn’t want MIL on top of her, I wouldn’t like that either lol.

Wow crazy! It’s a shame she feels that way but I do understand!

I can understand how she feels and it’s her choice

He should know but I always understand how awful it must be to worry about unwanted visitors.

If he can’t grow a pair and tell his mum to bugger off then he doesn’t deserve to know the date. The hospital staff were brilliant at keeping unwanted guests away for me.

Nope it’s wrong. He’s your husband.. the father of your child.
I went through this with my ex mil. Even the day I gave birth to my son knowing he had already passed away. She still showed up!
The easiest way around it is to tell the nurses to visitors. If mil doesn’t know your room number she can’t visit

I understand that the mother in laws intrusion is totally unacceptable, especially during labour. I personally didn’t have anyone waiting at the hospital and nobody bothered us during either labour. But not telling your husband the date of the c-section is wrong, in that you are saying you don’t trust him. I get that he wouldn’t know if you went into labour naturally until it was happening , but because you know you really ought to let him in on it too. Just have a proper conversation with your husband and say you want to surprise the family with the birth announcement, to soften the blow of keep your mouth shut to your mother!

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  • • mom94898 replied
    • 01 Aug 2019 , 10:44 am

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  That’s the problem, he can’t keep his mouth shut as far as his mum goes (he’s gutless), and that’s why she doesn’t trust him, and I don’t blame her. She should be able to have this baby without her mil there. It’s not as if she’s going to keep her hubby away from the birth, just his mum.

I find it hard to imagine not telling my husband something so important, but I can understand wanting MIL to butt out.

If MIL can’t stay away then I guess people have to resort to these sorts of things.

Personally all these subterfuges seem a little childish to me. Just tell what you want and need to the mother in law. What if there is an emergency at work and the husband can’t take time off? Is it worth the risk?