Hello!

I had my babies in my thirties but I have friends who had a bub in their twenties and even in their teens and others who waited until they were past forty. I’ve heard of mums being told they’re too old to have a child, but this woman was told that she is too young to have a baby.

I can understand if she’s a teenager and still at school. Perhaps that is too young to have a baby. Although saying that, there are many teens who tackle motherhood better than older mums. And what about in the ‘older days’? If our great-grandparents weren’t up the duff by the time they were 20-something, there was definitely something weird going on.

But this woman is in her early-twenties and apparently, that’s now regarded as being too young to have a baby. Really???

Venting!

The frustrated woman explained her situation to mumsnet readers saying:

“So my partner and I have been together for 8 years. I’m 23 (almost 24) and my partner is 26. We are engaged, own our own home without a mortgage (we are extremely lucky) and are always on time with our bills. We both work full time.

“Anyway. I ask this, because I’ve been told by a close family friend that we are way too young and irresponsible to be trying to have a baby, when we are just ‘babies’ ourselves.

“This comment has really upset me. I don’t feel as though we are too young or immature at all. We pay our own way for everything we have, we work hard and save hard and this is something we have waited for, until it felt like the right time. Our wedding was called off due to COVID-19 and this is something we both want..

“Maybe I’m being unreasonable, but I don’t feel like this is the wrong decision for us.”

You ARE Too Young To Have A Baby!

The responses from the Mumsnet readers were quite mixed and I was surprised at how many people actually agreed with the ‘close family friend’.

“What’s the rush? 23 is young to be TTC. Assuming all is well, you have many fertile years ahead of you,” said one.

“You are still quite young. I’d recommend waiting until you’re married for the security that will give you,” said another.

Enjoy The Freedom

Others advised the women to enjoy a debt-free life before kids come along.

“You are mortgage free at that age? Oh my god enjoy it before you have your children. Spend a few years having the money to enjoy your lives before you have your children,” advised one reader.

Just Do IT!

A few told the woman to ignore what others say and just do what’s right for her and her partner:

“Ignore them, there’s not a ‘right’ age bracket simply a trend that people tend to be a little older than yourselves these days. We are in a similar position and are just going with it, trying to block out all the opinions!”

“Don’t let anybody tell you what to do, if you feel ready to have a family then go for it.”

“Ridiculous. If you are ready and financially secure why on earth not.”

“I’d go for it. Two of the best parents I know had their DCs in their early/mid 20s. When they have “flown the nest”, my friends will still be young enough to travel etc with a hopefully long life ahead of them.”

What age did you have your first child? Do you think this woman is too young to have a baby? Tell us in the comments below.

  • It’s your life :) I hope it turned out well ????

    Reply

  • That is so silly! I had my first child at 24 so was pregnant and 23. If you and your partner want to that is between you. I must admit though in saying that I do see now that I am in my 30’s why people do wait until their 30’s as you are more settled & if you want to be a stay at home mum may handle it more but everyone is different I still would not change it. I’m glad I had my girls when I did, 24 & 26 there is no “right” age.

    Reply

  • Each to their own. I don’t personally think that’s too young if that’s what you want. For me, I was way to selfish and irresponsible to have a child in my 20’s. For myself, I wanted to travel around the world before even considering settling down, but everyone is different. I say do what makes you happy and what you feel is right for you.

    Reply

  • Depends on what suits them, if financially comfortable and able to afford to take time off them the 20s are a great age to have children, raise them and still be young enough to enjoy life as parents & grandparents.

    Reply

  • 23 is a great age. I was expecting it to be too young at 13 or so.

    Reply

  • I had my first child at 34 and the doctor said I was old.
    I think 23 is a good age. They’ve paid off their house and seem to be in a good financial position.
    I wish I had had my first child at 23 then I would be done with it all. I would have had a few more and would have had the energy to keep up!

    Reply

  • That comment says more about the other person than about you. Ignore it.

    Reply

  • I got my first child when i was 27.May be 23 is so young.She need to enjoy more in her life to before taking responsibilities.

    Reply

  • your body your choice! How dare any one presume to know what is better for your body and life than you do yourself! That is ridiculous!

    Reply

  • Early 20’s is not too young to have a child. If it’s really what you want and have the means to care and support the child, why not!

    Reply

  • Don’t listen to what your friends say. If you feel you want children now then go for it. It’s no-one’s business but yours and you will know if you can cope. There is never a right age. My oldest was born when I was very young and his brother was born 9 years later. Follow your own hearts and that will be the right decision

    Reply

  • I say get started. I started trying for a baby when I was 24. I had my one and only child when I was 1 month shy of my 32nd birthday. I don’t think early/mid 20s is too young. I you struggle as I did, you could regret waiting longer. If I had waited longer I probably wouldn’t have had my daughter.

    Reply

  • I was 30 when I had my only child… and not for lack of trying. I started at 26 and it took 4 years and IVF to have my miracle child. So just having a baby is all that I wanted — age is irrelevant.

    Reply

  • I don’t think there is any problem with them having a baby at 23 if they are financially stable or able to pay for their baby. This girl also sounds like she is mature and intelligent as well.

    Reply

  • By the time I was 23 I had four children – the greatest benefit was I could be part of my children’s lives growing up – could still enjoy sailing with them, horse-riding with them, going on the big dipper or down the water slides and enjoying fun things with them. My mum was 43 when she had me and I used to say she was my grandmother to the other kids who all had young mums. This young lady sounds like she is in a very settled relationship so if I were her I would do what I wanted and not worry one little bit. I am watching one of my children at 50 trying to cope with a 10 year old and they find it harder than I did at 30 coping with an 11 year old.

    Reply

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