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Article You Are A Good Mum

By Alexandra Mayock
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53 Comment

Mothers who have a cesarean section, whether it’s by choice or not, you carried your baby for a long time, gave them all the love in the world and here they are earth side – and you are probably very sore, but they are here and that’s all that matters. You are a good mum.

Mothers who had a vaginal birth, you just laboured for hours on end, whether or not you took those painkillers, you are powerful, strong. Your baby is here. That is what matters. You are a good mum.

Mothers who don’t want skin to skin right after the birth, that is fine. It’s a very overwhelming experience and you’re probably exhausted – the midwife will clean your baby, wrap him up and then you can have a cuddle.

You just gave birth, regardless of if it was vaginally or through a cesarean. You are a good mum.

Mothers who want skin-on-skin and to give your baby a feed right away, that is also fine, you’ve just spent hours labouring, I don’t blame you for wanting your child directly on your skin, it’s exciting to finally hold your little one. You are a good mum.

Mothers who choose to breastfeed, that’s really great. It is so hard to get the hang of; I promise you at the end of the rough patch, it’s worth it. Not to mention the cuddles you get. You are a good mum.

Mothers who formula feed from the get go, good on you. You have your whole family to help you out when you need to, especially when you’re tired. It’s hard work getting up in the middle of the night every few hours to make a bottle, but you do it anyway. You are a good mum.

Mothers who use a pram, aren’t they great? There is so much storage under that thing, and your baby looks so cosy asleep in there. You are a good mum.

Mothers who baby-wear, it’s like a big cuddle all the time, isn’t it? You’re hands free all of the time so you can get things done without having to worry about your little babe. You are a good mum.

I could go on, and on – but I am sure that you get the picture now.

The thing is, as women we know there is a lot of pressure on being a mother, there are articles coming from left, right and center about what is best for your baby.

YOUR baby. YOU know what is best for YOUR baby, not the people on the Internet, on your Facebook page or in your mother’s group. Every doctor has a difference in opinion or knowledge. Everything is trial and error. None of us are perfect, but we are unique in our own ways.

Don’t let anyone pressure you in to doing something you don’t want to.

Take all of the advice you’re comfortable with. It doesn’t matter how, but as long as your child is fed, safe, loved, clothed, bathed and warm – YOU are a good mum.

Do not let yourself or anyone else think otherwise.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com

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Comments

  • I am a good mum. I’m not perfect but I do the best I can. I make mistakes, learn from them, try to not repeat them. Life is a learning curve and I’m still learning

    • yes that is the right attitude for sure.

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  • Thank you for writing it down, this is something I have been trying to tell my friend and family. I am going to direct them to read this. Doesn’t matter what and how we do it “Mum are best”.

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  • mums are always the best !

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  • i m always a godd exellent great mum always

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  • Being a mum is certainly a calling in life. It is a 24 hours job, with no pay, lack of sleep, hunger at times because you are so busy tending to everyone else’s needs and feeling fairly tired most of the time. It’s a job I would never have rejected and I enjoyed every moment of it. I had all of my children by C-section purely because of medical reasons, not choice. Yes it was terrible difficult learning through those first moments of breastfeeding. I can remember being so scared of the breast pump at the hospital and would sit there alone feeling so engorged and aching from the abundance of milk. Sometimes the nurses said they wished they could put several babies on me to feed because I was a good feeder. Nevertheless, my daughter didn’t starve but she fed so well I often wondered if there would ever be anything left for more if they came. Well they did and yes I did have more than an abundance to the point of getting mastitis which is very painful. I loved every moment of my little ones and I say to all the mums out there, cherish every moment, even when the trials of living gang up on all of us, because they are only young for a short while. And I hope for all who put in the energy, life and time with your little ones will hopefully reap a blessed reward for you as it has done for me. Whichever way you choose to feed them from the start is your choice and all of us have to find our own style and also what suits our little ones. To all the mums out there I say, YES WE ARE A GOOD MUMS. 🙂

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  • We are all good Mums we have to remember that we all do things differently. as long as we love our children that’s what’s most important

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  • Great advice. Yes, mums are the best person to say what their babies need and address it personally.

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  • yep you wrote a wise article

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  • indeed an eye opener article for many; a mother is a mother, no matter how she gives birth. The pain and joy is no less

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  • I agree so much thankyou

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  • Loved reading this article, thanks Alexandra! It sums up the feelings and pressures of virtually all new mums 🙂

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  • Beautifully written, I agree with the send last sentence the most.

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  • I totally agree. I’m a good Mum. I was unable to breastfeed so after a week of trying the midwife suggested we bottle feed. My son gulped it down and became more settled. I had been starving him in my attempts to breastfeed. So I bottlefed. I was being a good Mum. I suffered PND and sought help. I’m a good Mum. I love my son unconditionally. I’m a good Mum. I am my son’s advocate. I’m a good Mum. I think about parenting all the time and how I’m going. I’m a good Mum. At the end of the day, I know what’s best for my son. I’m a good Mum.

    • You are an EXCELLENT mother! Your children will thank you when they’re older for doing everything you can to be the mother that you are.
      Alexandra x

      • Well said. Thank you Rovermum and Alexandra. I enjoyed your comments and I’m a good mum to four beautiful kids too.

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  • Spot on! Good on you Alexandra! (-:

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  • This is the case in most situations but sometimes there are exceptions to the rules and we as loving and caring family members, friends and community must watch for signs of desperation, despair etc.

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  • That’s a great article. All births are different and birth plans never go to plan. I had two caesareans with both my girls but they are happy healthy little girls and that’s all that matters. Yes I had a rough time but I would do anything for my girls coz I love them and having a loving supportive husband really helped me through. Surviving the sleep deprivation wasn’t easy but we made it through.

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  • Well said 🙂
    Thank you

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  • great to look at

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  • We are all so lucky to be able to have achived our dream of having a child. Some are not so lucky even after experiencing preganncy. It dosnt matter how a baby comes into the world just the joys we get from having our family.

    Reply

  • I always tell new mums that no baby, no mum, no family, is the same as any other. So only they know what’s right for them.

    Reply
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