4 reasons you should tell your child

The Birds and the Bees: or ‘the talk’ as it is commonly referred to, is a daunting conversation for a parent to consider. What age should your child be? When is it appropriate?

One day, coming soon to a child’s lips near you is…. the question. ‘Mummy, how is a baby made?’

You know you have to have an answer. The stork won’t cut it. It’s not the 70’s anymore. You can’t pretend like Moses’s drifting down a river in a basket. You need to face it (your child) head on and say that word….Sex.

Now there is that can of worms I’d been looking for.

Believe me, it doesn’t have to be overly awkward. I’ve been there, twice, and I’ve got one more conversation to go ahead of me yet.

But know this. It is one of THE most important conversations you and your child will have.

Here’s why:

Building a foundation of trust. Trust that you will tell them the truth. No matter how awkward and difficult. If you find a way to dodge the correct answer you will be doing your child a disservice. They look to you for answers. You created them, in most cases that is. If you didn’t personally create them, you probably know how they were created.
They won’t say dumb stuff in the school yard. Hopefully they won’t be talking about it in the school yard anyway, but who am I kidding? Of course they talk about it. Imagine the things they will believe, hear, imagine and possibly do without knowing the truth.
Basic knowledge of human creation. Isn’t it a good thing to be educating your child with foundational lessons? Such as how the human species reproduce? I myself find it miraculous! All of the different ways a baby can be created these days. Natural conception, IVF, the use of a donor. Brilliant, engaging and interesting information for a child to know. Believe me it doesn’t hurt them, because knowledge is power.
It opens the door to talking about what is theirs and no one else’s to touch or see. Safety. If they don’t know, how will they know? As a mother, I feel responsible for my children’s safety. We all do surely. The ‘private parts’ conversation is the perfect time and easily reiterated whilst explaining the birds and the bees.

The best advice I can give you is to be prepared. Buy yourself a book to assist you when it comes the time. I bought my book when my daughter was two and kept it aside until she was 8. I was prepared. I have also written a book called 21st Century Guide to the Birds and the Bees, click here for more information.

Have you had ‘the talk’ with your children, how old were they? Please share any tips in the comments below?

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30 Comments

- - mom81879 said
  - 18 Nov 2015
    8:37 pm
My daughter started menstruating at age 10 1/2, so glad we had kind of started talking about this earlier then that, but the periods onset side things up

- - EllenG89 said
  - 19 Jun 2015
    12:50 pm
Great read with valid advice

- - Meghannn said
  - 18 Jun 2015
    10:29 am
Great read for mums who need to prepare to answer that question!
I still don’t know what my answer will be even though I have thought it out many of times!

- - mom127676 said
  - 29 May 2015
    9:51 pm
I was raised where honesty was always the way. I never felt uncomfortable with asking my parents questions about anything.

- - chezj said
  - 09 May 2015
    4:52 pm
Wow – this was so timely, as my 8 year old just asked that very question. As awkward as I felt, I knew that it would be better to tell her the truth. As she was an IVF baby, I explained that she was conceived a bit differently to the majority of her friends but that made her very special, because she was very much wanted and she is loved every single day. Thank you for the article.

- - mom110650 said
  - 07 May 2015
    9:16 pm
I’m looking forward to those chats! I’m hoping to have chats regularly about sexuality, relationships, body parts so it’s not a big one off talk.

- - smiles said
  - 30 Apr 2015
    1:04 pm
I haven’t had the talk yet and it’s a few year away yet. Not sure how I will tackle it but seeing I have all boys I’d like hubby to be there too.

- - mom74312 said
  - 25 Mar 2015
    12:07 pm
I’m not dreading this conversation, but not looking forward to either. Forearmed is forewarned as they say. My daughter is now 8 so I think I should definitely start preparing myself for “the talk”

- - ralu said
  - 24 Mar 2015
    11:52 pm
We did not have “the talk” yet , he is only 5.I am bit scared when the moment will come.
- bel replied
  
  25 Mar 2015 , 10:18 am
  Thank you so much for commenting on my blog piece. I have just released our second Childrens book about the birds and the bees in the 21st Century http://www.iamextraspecial.com
  Love Bel xo
- - mom113055 said
  - 19 Mar 2015
    8:05 pm
looks good
- bel replied
  
  25 Mar 2015 , 10:19 am
  Thank you so much for commenting on my blog xo Bel
- - mom113991 said
  - 16 Mar 2015
    2:24 pm
i love this article. i agree 100% with all of this. thank you

- - iccara said
  - 15 Mar 2015
    10:42 am
I know its coming, but not looking forward to it. Where do I start? How much information/detail do I give? Oh dear! This is one stressed out mum on the topic

Anyone wanna come do it for me? Ill pay you lol. Could be a good business venture!

- - Lov'n'Life said
  - 14 Mar 2015
    10:25 pm
No not really although they are not completely in the dark living on a farm they are fully aware of how cows get in calf and dogs get in pup etc

- - deb_gs said
  - 14 Mar 2015
    10:24 pm
I haven’t had the talk with my child yet about sex – she is only four. But I have taught her the correct names for the genitals and to explain about appropriate and inappropriate touching of the genitals.

- - pakeko said
  - 13 Mar 2015
    8:57 pm
Such a hard chat to have with your kids, but it is a eye opener what they all ready know

- - june11 said
  - 12 Mar 2015
    10:10 pm
With your eldest child, no doubt there is going to be questions when you tell the younger one that he/she is going to have a new baby sister/brother. If not then, when you get “big” the questions will come up and you may well be asked how the baby got in your tummy.
I don’t know whether or not you can get it on DVD, but I know there was an explanation of the sperm/egg part. I think it may have been borrowed/hired from the school my nieces went to. I don’t know if it is still common practise but my eldest niece was taught sex education in her first 6 months at school – much to her parents’ disgust – and let their feelings be known at the school, as did quite a few other parents. The same thing happened with the younger one and they were also shown how the baby came out head first. (one of them put a small doll under her dress – head down. The younger one had low IQ and didn’t comprehend all she was taught at 5 y.o.).

- - cherz said
  - 12 Mar 2015
    5:16 pm
My children are adults so this has long passed ..but I do remember my mum sitting me down to have the talk, I was a rude so and so and said forget it mum I know it all, (must admit she was a LOT LATE with the talk but I could have been nicer) .. I made sure my children were told before they picked up the wrong talk from school.

- - mom94125 said
  - 12 Mar 2015
    1:35 pm
omg i think this is a hard topic for the parent to discuss rather than how the child will understand it

- - stepmom107932 said
  - 12 Mar 2015
    11:33 am
Miss 7 asks tiny questions occasionally and i give her truthful answers and then usually ask her questions to make sure she understood then we high 5 coz of how clever she is and thats all until the next question comes up.
sometimes however she will make a statement such as “you have to sex to make a baby, thats so weird”
i simply confirm she is correct and tell her its not weird, its just how it works. Then she moves on.
I personally like the idea that sex and reproduction can be a topic of conversation at any time with family, so its not wrong, or daunting or embarrassing.

- - ella12 said
  - 11 Mar 2015
    4:30 pm
I think at about 9 or 10 is a good age.