I love being a mum and looking after my 3 children every day, but um, we also need adult company – am I right?
Do you ever feel torn between those special moments you experience every day with your children, and then feel totally isolated and cut off at the same time?
I know I have, and according to a recent survey 90% of mums feel lonely, so I’m wondering if you’ve felt lonely too.
I am mummy to one 4-year-old, one 2-year-old and a 6-month-old, so 3 children under 5, you can imagine the house is a little bit chaotic most of the time. But, of course, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Like most mums I am in love with the everyday mum life, the little daily moments which touch my heart and put a huge smile across my face. Can I share a couple with you?
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My 2-year-old son has just started saying “I love you too mummy”, completely unprompted, it makes my heart swell. I love the way my 4-year-old daughter’s eyes light up every time she discovers something new or has a fantastic idea. I can’t help but smile at the sound of my baby’s laugh simply because I’ve walked in the room, he is always so happy to see me.
Aren’t the daily joys of being a mum the best part?
But there are difficult moments too. Challenging moments, that test our resilience and strength. Whether it is something big and serious like taking your child to hospital, which we found ourselves doing just 9 days after he was born. Or something simple like dealing with the day to day loneliness and isolation that can come from looking after babies every day & speaking in single syllables for hours on end.
Being a mum is a job of two halves, and there are highs and lows. Something which I have found to be fundamental and super important after having three, is to make friends with other mums where I live. I’ve found community is so important and want to stress the importance of finding a tribe to any new mums to be. Loneliness is one of the biggest life stressors and we just don’t talk about it enough, it’s kind of a taboo topic even if many of us feel it.
There are different ways mums can cope with loneliness, in my experience, finding a mum tribe is the most effective and fun. I firmly believe: we need a village to raise a child. Cliche maybe, but it’s true! I’ve noticed it in myself, when I meet with other mums in my area for play dates or just for a cup of coffee my mood lifts and everything becomes more manageable.
Having someone to speak to about the little and big things, or just sharing in some local gossip is such an important part of my weekly life, I couldn’t be without it. Seeing the difference in myself, and hearing from so many other mums that they find it difficult to make friends and form a community I wanted to help other new mums find their tribe.
I might be a little crazy taking it on, but I set up a platform to do just this. A community space which functions both online and offline. What is great about this space, is that it is really localised, we want everything to be about mums meeting offline, locally so they can find their own mums tribe. But still create a safe online space for education and learning for mums to be, or mums with newborns and toddlers.
The first few years as a mum is an exciting, but sometimes lonely time. I hope I have encouraged you to join a mum community in your area no matter where you are.
At the moment we are setting up in Brisbane, so if you are there we would love to meet you as soon as our sessions begin. You can also search online to find other groups near you, there are so many activities to choose from now. Either way I encourage you to find your mum tribe and focus on creating important local friendships for you and your family.
Loneliness doesn’t need to be a part of being a great mum, the solution is finding your mum tribe.
Have you found a mum’s group to hang out in? Share yours below.