MoM put the hard question to you all about raising spoiled brats and the responses are quite surprising.
We shared on Facebook how we often struggle with this issue, “As a kid, we went out for a family dinner as a treat on our birthdays and got presents once a year on our birthdays.
“But I look around our living room and our place is like a daycare centre – our kids have so much and yet whenever we go to the shops, they still ask and ask for new toys.
“We take our kids out for meals and they’ve been lucky enough to go on overseas holidays (because we enjoy this too!).
“We try and instill good values and manners in our kids but I can’t help but worry that we are raising a generation that wants for nothing and expects the world.
“I’m interested to hear how you can keep kids grounded and appreciative in a world where everything is at our fingertips.”
While other parents agreed they too often worry about the same issue a few MoM’s left us some sound advice.
Mandy suggested the answer was really quite simple, “Simple, don’t give them everything. Tell them no even if you can afford it or they will keep asking cause they know you will say yes …. if they crack it ignore it, always told my kids naughty kids don’t get nice things and I’m not always going to say yes … they will appreciate it more as they get older ..”
Darel added, “The other day I went through my children’s room and donated half of their toys.
I told them that they didn’t need it all, and there are children out there that have none that need them more.
Don’t buy everything they ask for. Explain to them that they don’t need it. Other than that, there’s not much you can do.”
Robyn said, “Make them work for it. The bigger the job, the bigger the reward. If they want it that bad, that’s how they pay for it. That’s how the real world is going to be, so it’s not an unfair ask. Otherwise you will be strapped with them forever relying on you.”
Bree added, “Also, make sure others like family and friends don’t just buy them things for no reason. A small reward for being exceptionally well behaved is ok but make sure everyone is on the same page.”
We loved Lorraine’s idea! ” I find my kids are much more considered of itself they buy it’s their money that they are spending. We have a chart where they get a star stamp for doing the right thing e.g., going to sleep without fuss, keeping their room clean, random things we notice and want to praise. When they get to 100 stamps they get $30. They can save it or spend it.”
What should we do?
Parents seem to be fearful of challenging children and saying NO or on the other hand are placing too much pressure on them to succeed and then feel the need to overcompensate by wrapping their children in cotton wool.
US academic Joseph Epstein has coined the term “kindergarchy” referring to a “new world order in which children rule”.
We need to teach kids a sense of responsibility, we need to learn not be a helicopter or “snow plow parent” — who clears the way for their child to make sure they don’t suffer any disappointment or difficulty — and to not “over function” for our kids.
We need to get back to basics and let kids be kids!
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