Adele Barbaro- The Real Mumma has shared how she was shamed online for her parenting choice and blocked from a so called support group.
“SHAME ON YOU…. not me”, she wrote.
“Because I am a blogger on the topic of parenting, I’m often asked questions and approached for advice. But the truth is, I’m just like you guys. Just whinging it. I have days I’m unsure, difficult decisions, hard times and good ones too. I’m in a number of support groups and have found them to be brilliant when I have questions or need tips from other mothers.
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“I see my parenting approach as quite natural and have many times found comfort in the advice of a natural parenting group over my last two years of being a mother. Last night, I made a post asking for advice. I’m heading back to work next month and I explained that I was going to breastfeed morning and night and I would pump until my boobs fell off but I would have to move to formula feeds. I wanted to know the best Australian brand. Even though I couldn’t give her 100% exclusive breastmilk, I wanted the best for her and I knew that this group would be knowledgeable.
“The comments from my ‘village’ came in. I was getting some great advice until the admin came along and shut me down. The comments were turned off and I was told that discussions on formula were not part of their ‘community values’ and I was told to find another group.
“So, this group that had supported me in my natural parenting techniques for two years turned on me the moment I was not 100% natural. Like formula was a dirty word and the discussion was like poison within their community. Instead of being supported, I was shamed. And instead of having access to sound advice from mothers that have been in my difficult situation, I was cut off, alone and questioning my decision to return to work and give my baby the next best thing to breast milk, when I can’t be there.
I bet your members are not shamed for owning a pram when they should be wearing the child. Or for doing the housework or cooking when they should be co sleeping during the day. I went out on the back verandah and cried. And when I pulled myself together, told Paul about what had happened and he said F@&) them! Who do they think they are?
“And he was right. F@&$ that group! And anyone that makes another mother feel like shit for her choice.
My page will never be like that. Everyone single mother is welcome here no matter how you parent. Any mum can post whatever questions, advice, tips or experience here and there will be opposite views but nobody will ever be shamed for doing things differently. And the moment someone shames another, they will be asked to leave, not the other way around.
Women should be supporting women, regardless of their choices. Motherhood is tough and we should ALL have each other’s backs.
Parents have been warned Facebook groups aren’t the best place to turn to when you are desperate for help when your child is sick.
A recent survey found 19% of the advice given when mums jump on Facebook for help is WRONG! 2% of the advice given is downright dangerous.
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