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Adele Barbaro- The Real Mumma has shared how she was shamed online for her parenting choice and blocked from a so called support group.

Adele Barbaro- The Real Mumma posted her recent experience on her Facebook page.

“SHAME ON YOU…. not me”, she wrote.

“Because I am a blogger on the topic of parenting, I’m often asked questions and approached for advice. But the truth is, I’m just like you guys. Just whinging it. I have days I’m unsure, difficult decisions, hard times and good ones too. I’m in a number of support groups and have found them to be brilliant when I have questions or need tips from other mothers.

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“I see my parenting approach as quite natural and have many times found comfort in the advice of a natural parenting group over my last two years of being a mother. Last night, I made a post asking for advice. I’m heading back to work next month and I explained that I was going to breastfeed morning and night and I would pump until my boobs fell off but I would have to move to formula feeds. I wanted to know the best Australian brand. Even though I couldn’t give her 100% exclusive breastmilk, I wanted the best for her and I knew that this group would be knowledgeable.

“The comments from my ‘village’ came in. I was getting some great advice until the admin came along and shut me down. The comments were turned off and I was told that discussions on formula were not part of their ‘community values’ and I was told to find another group.

“So, this group that had supported me in my natural parenting techniques for two years turned on me the moment I was not 100% natural. Like formula was a dirty word and the discussion was like poison within their community. Instead of being supported, I was shamed. And instead of having access to sound advice from mothers that have been in my difficult situation, I was cut off, alone and questioning my decision to return to work and give my baby the next best thing to breast milk, when I can’t be there.

I bet your members are not shamed for owning a pram when they should be wearing the child. Or for doing the housework or cooking when they should be co sleeping during the day. I went out on the back verandah and cried. And when I pulled myself together, told Paul about what had happened and he said F@&) them! Who do they think they are?

“And he was right. F@&$ that group! And anyone that makes another mother feel like shit for her choice.

My page will never be like that. Everyone single mother is welcome here no matter how you parent. Any mum can post whatever questions, advice, tips or experience here and there will be opposite views but nobody will ever be shamed for doing things differently. And the moment someone shames another, they will be asked to leave, not the other way around.

Women should be supporting women, regardless of their choices. Motherhood is tough and we should ALL have each other’s backs.

 

Parents have been warned Facebook groups aren’t the best place to turn to when you are desperate for help when your child is sick.

A recent survey found 19% of the advice given when mums jump on Facebook for help is WRONG! 2% of the advice given is downright dangerous.

Share your comments below.

  • I get impression the site must have been very breastfeeding only style. Prior to cows’ milk, for newborns if the Mother didn’t make sufficient breastmilk the baby would have starved to death. In the 1800s – early 1900s quite a few babies lived only very short lives. Maybe that was one of the main reasons. There is a wide range of Australian manufactured baby formulas. Is it possible people are not allowed to name favourite brands or types.

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  • Think I would avoid asking for any advice on Facebook. Haven’t heard of too many good things coming from it.

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  • I can’t believe that she was removed from that site for asking other Mum’s what they would suggest. She was just trying to get other Mum’s suggestions. Shame on them for upsetting this Mum who only wanted what was best for her child.

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  • That is quite extraordinary. None of us can parent as perfectly as we’d like, and being able to ask for advice to get the best possible results from our choices is important.

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  • Wow- you know what? At least she gave it a go and breast fed until she went back to work and was still going to continue with breast milk. In all honesty people really need to learn a little respect for their fellow human. If we all respected others and their beliefs the world would be a better place.

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  • You should always do what is right for you and your situation, people shouldn’t judge and stick their nose where it doesn’t belong.

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  • A bit harsh that her question was shut down by admin … where’s the compassion?

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  • An unfortunate occurrence as the article states that the community was supportive and it was admin that stepped in and shut it down. Unfortunately I have left some groups that were hard line with admin rules and pushing an agenda that does not subscribe to my ideals of open and varied comments and opinions.

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  • Not a nice experience ! I would just leave that group. Never seek the advice or approval from others too much, follow your believes and instinct.
    Not all advice on Facebook is wrong. I’m a manner of a T21 Mum’s group on Facebook and it’s a source of advice, support and fun.

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  • Follow your own instincts, you don’t need other’s opinions to get it right for your child.

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  • Sad thing is that these are all adults and probably the same ones that are complaining about parents being to blame for their kid’s bullying……

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  • Disgusting behavior and attitude – shame on them indeed! Life is tough enough as it is without this kind of beratement!

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  • What a nasty experience for this mother. And what a stupid reason for the group to block her. Not nice!!!

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  • I find that quite disgusting. How are they treat anyone in that way. How old do they think a child should be before ‘other’ foods are introduced. Totally ridiculous.

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  • Poor Adele :( they had no right to treat her that way. If formula feeding didn’t exist, milions of babies over decades wouldn’t have even survived. A child getting a chance to grow up trumps a breastfed baby that didn’t make it past 6 months every single time.

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