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Article Brutal Backlash After Mum’s Gender Disappointment Confession

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A mum of three has been subjected to a brutal online backlash, after confessing that she ‘cried for weeks’ and was ‘devastated’ after learning she was having a third boy.

Content creator Taylor Chapman, shared two videos of her gender reveal, one late last year before her third child was born, and another more recently. Both captions discussed the heartbreak the mum felt at discovering she was having another boy.

“I struggled hard. I cried for weeks. And I felt so ashamed I was sad when I knew how blessed I was,” Taylor wrote.

“The thing about gender disappointment people who’ve never experienced it don’t understand is you’re not ungrateful, you won’t love this baby any less, you’re not sad you’re having the same gender you already have, you’re sad about not getting to experience all the things that come with having one of the opposite gender.”

gender disappointment

She says she considered not posting the first video, because of the feelings she and her husband had after the gender reveal.

“I almost didn’t post this, I almost edited it to make it look like we were super excited but in all honestly we were devastated. Not mad or upset that this gift from God is another sweet boy to love on but the immediate feeling that flowed through the both of us of never having a daughter of our own.

“It’s taken time, a lot of time to not cry every time I talk about it. I’ve learned that grief and joy can coexist and God’s plan for us and our babies is bigger than we could have ever planned for.

“Gender disappointment is a real thing not many are comfortable talking about because you can be so happy and so heartbroken at the same time. You’re not ungrateful, you know what a blessing you have but for me I always imagined what my daughter would look like, doing her hair, playing dress up with princess dresses, having a little mini me, so with this being our last baby it hit a lot deeper than I thought it would and I allowed myself to feel those feelings.”

The videos attracted thousands of views and comments, with many hitting out at the mum.

“Could you imagine this child seeing this when they get older. wtf.”

“‘Gender disappointment‘ I don’t want to be on this planet.”

“Some sh*t should just be left unsaid.”

“As a mother of twin infant loss…Just be happy to have a healthy normal baby.”

“Seek therapy, not attention.”

“Gender disappointment is a wild phrase. Show this video to him when he’s 10 and see how it goes. “Mama was so disappointed you weren’t a girl” smh grow up.”

“Imagine growing up and seeing this video of your mum disappointed in what gender you were…”

gender disappointment

Taylor says anyone struggling with gender disappointment is allowed to feel what they feel.

“It’s funny looking back now because I knew after finding out we were having a third boy that I would be head over heels in love with him,” Taylor said. “I knew I would be obsessed. I knew he was going to be perfect and he is.

“I truly think my heart will always long for a baby girl but I also couldn’t be more blessed that God chose me to raise up these three perfect boys into strong masculine gentlemen for this world!”

Did you experience gender disappointment? Feel free to share your experience in the comments below. 

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Comments

  • Many women have been disappointed over gender I’m sure.

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  • Whilst I agree that gender disappointment can be a real thing for some, I don’t understand why you would post it on social media

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  • Wow, its pretty sad that someone is so upset about having a baby. I guess she’s just expressing how she feels tho, we’re all entitled to that

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  • Why have a gender reveal if you had any thought that you’d be disappointed?

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  • I grew up reading that the perfect family consists of a Mum and Dad plus a son and daughter. I have 2 sons and my eldest son has 3 daughters. He loves them all but his wife wanted to try for a boy thinking that’s what he would want. As he said then and still says it now, he never cared what sex they were and he felt blessed to have such wonderful children.

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  • People are so harsh.
    I had 2 girls and longs for a boy. When I was pregnant with baby 3 I was told that they couldnt find any kidneys. I had to wait 2 weeks before another test could be done. I knew if they got the same result that I would either go into early labour or they would induce me but bub would not survive. It was at that point I no longer cared what sex bub was. When they told me that bub had kidneys and was a girl I was so majorly happy.

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  • Everyone handles it differently, some care, some don’t. I hope she gets past it and back to a normal and happy life with her children. Sharing it all online is always dangerous.

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  • Has honestly become a negative impact – such trolling is not warranted and needed.

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  • It’s honest – some people just hide it well. I totally get it. Having 2 girls. But i cant see life any other way!

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  • I do think she should have thought about her son’s feelings before posting this.

    • Yes, her feelings are real and there’s no right or wrong in this. But to post them online isn’t wise in my opinion

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  • I think gender reveals should be private. Why does the world need to know?

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  • Gender disappointment is real, but I think as long as you have a healthy baby at the end, that’s what matters. I don’t understand the point of sharing the news with the entire world, but that’s me.

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  • This is why you have to be very careful about sharing your personal life to random public people. I can understand the disappointment cause some mothers long for a daughter (or via versa to ones who have all girls and want a boy) and its great to be honest about your feelings. However, those kind of thoughts and feelings should be shared privately amongst close friends or family as public people will speak hurtful truths too.
    At the end of the day, you will be always grateful of whatever the gender is and will sometimes take time to accept you may not get what you want (which is normal) but you will still enjoy the bundle of joy you have gotten

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  • Gender disappointed is real and valid. However when you make the choice to post something publicly online, you know that you’re opening yourself up to opinions of all shapes and sizes. (I’m not condoning bullying and hatred) and we know that people will make comments. So to then turn around and complain…
    I feel the mum and her disappointment is valid. But maybe if you don’t want to hear people’s opinions, don’t post it to the world?

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  • I do understand gender disappointment but I think it’s not talked about or shared publicly for a good reason and that is so the child you are having never knows about it.

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  • I must say I find it hard to be sympathetic. It’s a game of luck and you need to understand that from the outset. I don’t feel like a parent should ever feel disappointment about their babies…

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  • Never experienced gender disappointment; was just so relieved to have healthy babies.

    • I know adults that were impacted by their parents being disappointed in their gender when they were born. Rather sad for all of them.

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  • Of course we’re allowed to feel what we feel, but I don’t know if it’s wise to put it out there on social media for all to know and possibly for your child to face when a bit older.

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  • Maybe we should stop finding out the gender until they are born?

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  • This is why I think gender reveals are not a great idea.

    Reply
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