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A mum of three has been subjected to a brutal online backlash, after confessing that she ‘cried for weeks’ and was ‘devastated’ after learning she was having a third boy.

Content creator Taylor Chapman, shared two videos of her gender reveal, one late last year before her third child was born, and another more recently. Both captions discussed the heartbreak the mum felt at discovering she was having another boy.

“I struggled hard. I cried for weeks. And I felt so ashamed I was sad when I knew how blessed I was,” Taylor wrote.

“The thing about gender disappointment people who’ve never experienced it don’t understand is you’re not ungrateful, you won’t love this baby any less, you’re not sad you’re having the same gender you already have, you’re sad about not getting to experience all the things that come with having one of the opposite gender.”

gender disappointment

She says she considered not posting the first video, because of the feelings she and her husband had after the gender reveal.

“I almost didn’t post this, I almost edited it to make it look like we were super excited but in all honestly we were devastated. Not mad or upset that this gift from God is another sweet boy to love on but the immediate feeling that flowed through the both of us of never having a daughter of our own.

“It’s taken time, a lot of time to not cry every time I talk about it. I’ve learned that grief and joy can coexist and God’s plan for us and our babies is bigger than we could have ever planned for.

Gender disappointment is a real thing not many are comfortable talking about because you can be so happy and so heartbroken at the same time. You’re not ungrateful, you know what a blessing you have but for me I always imagined what my daughter would look like, doing her hair, playing dress up with princess dresses, having a little mini me, so with this being our last baby it hit a lot deeper than I thought it would and I allowed myself to feel those feelings.”

The videos attracted thousands of views and comments, with many hitting out at the mum.

“Could you imagine this child seeing this when they get older. wtf.”

“‘Gender disappointment‘ I don’t want to be on this planet.”

“Some sh*t should just be left unsaid.”

“As a mother of twin infant loss…Just be happy to have a healthy normal baby.”

“Seek therapy, not attention.”

“Gender disappointment is a wild phrase. Show this video to him when he’s 10 and see how it goes. “Mama was so disappointed you weren’t a girl” smh grow up.”

“Imagine growing up and seeing this video of your mum disappointed in what gender you were…”

gender disappointment

Taylor says anyone struggling with gender disappointment is allowed to feel what they feel.

“It’s funny looking back now because I knew after finding out we were having a third boy that I would be head over heels in love with him,” Taylor said. “I knew I would be obsessed. I knew he was going to be perfect and he is.

“I truly think my heart will always long for a baby girl but I also couldn’t be more blessed that God chose me to raise up these three perfect boys into strong masculine gentlemen for this world!”

Did you experience gender disappointment? Feel free to share your experience in the comments below. 

  • I did have gender disappointment with bub number two as I wanted two girls so that they can do stuff together but I love my little boy so much, I would never take him away if I had a choice to change time!!!
    I think people experience this more often than they’d like to admit. I just don’t understand why people feel the need to put their two cents on the table, especially when the person had already admitted they felt guilty.

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  • My daughter had five boys and I thought she would give up, but no, we were shopping one day and we ended up in a baby shop and I said what are we doing here? I soon worked it out and along came a little girl followed not long after by another one!! There are ways you can get a girl – check it out! Your little boy is beautiful but I agree with you – we all want to dress little girls but my boys are the best now they are grown up!!

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  • Do you have to share everything online? Just discuss with your partner and move on


    • Yes, we have the right to feel what we feel but have to be so cautious to post it online

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  • Tell everyone and then think back and ask yourself why are you so upset .Don’t tell anyone is the best way and just accept what you have.

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  • Anyone being critical needs to take a large step back. What they experienced is real. It’s only an issue if a parent refuses to care for or love their child. I have seen that. My youngest stepson is still experiencing the aftermath of his mother’s response to his gender and she refused to even bathe him…this couple are not doing that. They were just genuinely disappointed that they missed out on the experience of having a girl. My son and his wife have 4 boys. They wanted a girl but they dont love their 4 boys any less as a result!! Leave this couple alone unless you are going to be supportive. Parenthood is hard enough without thoughtless and uncalled for attacks on their parenting.

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  • I felt disappointed for about five minutes… and then got over it. I think you’re allowed to have the feelings but shouldn’t share them publicly because yeah, your kid will eventually see it.

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  • Expectations are not always going to be met. It’s always better to just focus on the positives.

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  • I got twin boys. A girl would have been nice. But I’m so happy with my two boys now. Wouldn’t change it for anything.

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  • So much stress at a time when you really don’t need it. IMO the disappointment is valid. As she said, it’s not about loving the baby any less. I think it’s about what you had envisioned for yourself isn’t going to happen and that makes you a bit sad. Commenters bringing up their own heartache is moot.

    Reply

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